where are your gloves and your helmet?

My exercise routine these days involves weight training or resistance band training four days a week, and cardio or HIIT the other three. If I have to drop a day I usually drop one of the cardio days, although I am currently maintaining a streak of consecutive days exercised; right now I am following a challenge on the physical fitness and social site Darebee that involves doing 100 reps of one of several exercises per day for 100 days, so even on days when I do not feel like or cannot do other exercises, I get in at least 100 good-form punches. (And 100 'overhead punches', which are a martial arts training exercise more reminiscent of an uppercut than they are of what the boxing websites call an overhead punch, but that's not on the tracking page.)

The thing is that these punches are directed at empty air, and while I am doing my best to follow the instructions on how to do them properly, I am well aware that punching the air does not resemble actual punching of things that get punched in any significant way. My impression is that it is a difference of a magnitude similar to that between using a Nerf bow and arrow set versus an actual recurve bow and arrows with target tips. I would like to learn to use a punching bag, but even before I can consider issues of noise and expense and how to secure one properly without causing noise that disturbs the downstairs neighbor, I realize I am going to have to take something else into account. The very first line of the product review I read on a heavy bag at Century Martial Arts Supply (makers of Kickin' Jeans!) was something to the effect of 'Do not buy this unless somebody has actually shown you how to properly and safely throw a punch at a heavy bag. People give themselves fractures all the time from failing to brace their wrists properly.'

I do not have access to someone who can show me how to properly and safely throw a punch in my everyday life. I mean, maybe if I still lived in New York; Uncle* Paul was a uniform cop and might have been able to show me. Or possibly my second-degree friend** Scott the FBI Agent, who was in the Violent Crimes division, might have been able to. I don't know where he's working now, though. I took karate classes years ago, but that was years ago, and anyway we didn't punch bags or dummies at my level and sparring was reserved for much higher belts than I ever achieved.

I figure my best bet is to find a local gym that is easy to reach and take one or two sample classes. I would prefer not to sign up for anything ongoing or long-term because that would entail spending a significant amount of money over time, plus the prep time- I can exercise virtually every day at work because I can go into the server closet, lock the door, change in a hurry, and do my stuff there. Cleanup involves skin cleansing wipes and deodorant, maybe a little aromatherapy spray if there's a need, and bam! I'm done. A gym visit every day would involve a lot of extra time getting in, getting changed, getting showered, getting changed back, and leaving... anyway, a few sample classes are probably a good idea regardless. if nothing else I can at least see if they'll show me how to use some of the equipment that I would be considering for home use.

The nearest YMCA with boxing as an option is in Cambridge. Kind of awkward to get to, for me. There's a gym right on my route to work from the Blue Line; it's an Everybody Fights place and looks like it's probably expensive, but if I'm only doing a few sample classes that's not so bad. There's a Planet Fitness in Downtown Crossing but I'm still trying to navigate their site far enough to see whether they have any equipment for the punchening, and there are a few other places in my office's immediate vicinity. Mostly I'm just looking for a place to learn to Hit Stuff Real Good. I can do Pick Up Heavy Stuff In Funny Ways and Do Things Fast So I Sweat A Lot without an external facility, but if it turns out I can engage in Hit Stuff Real Good with someone there to make sure I Hit Stuff Real Good The Right Way, it might be worth my time and money to keep going to the Hit Stuff Real Good place, rather than invest in home equipment I might or might not keep using.

(I do not especially want to fight, and I do not want to get into competitive boxing, but I have said it before: one day I fully expect to find myself in the presence of someone who desperately, truly, genuinely deserves to be punched in the face, and I will only ever get one chance to do so. It would be best if I learned how to do it correctly beforehand and then maintained the form and strength to make it count.)




*Not actually my uncle but I come from an Italian-American family that was prone to declaring close friends of Mom or Grandma or Grandpa to be Uncle This or Aunt That

**Friend of my friend, whom I have met and talked to, but only at parties and events held by my friend

Ironborn, day 2: back and biceps. 14.5 lb dumbbells for the curls, upright rows, and bent-over rows. 9 lb. barbells for the bent-over flys. 19.5 lb. dumbbells for the deadlifts and shrugs.
Gladiator challenge, day 9: 3 sets of 14 lunges each, 20 sec. rest between sets.
Ten Thousand Punches challenge, day 2: 180 punches. Divided them into 3 sets, so that's 180 punches plus fifteen pushups. NB: I have never yet succeeded at the pushups they do on TV and in the movies, where you start at full height, lower yourself so your sternum is an inch or so off the floor, then push back up again. Mine have usually started from lying on the floor and end with me resting on the floor for a second or less before the next pushup. Today was the first time I started a pushup set from full height and lowered myself down. This is a minor thing but to me it's fairly big. Also, for the record, I do the straight-legged pushups where my knees come off the ground with the rest of me.
Wall Sit challenge, day 9: 1 minute 20 seconds. Legs were shaking but I managed, plus there's the part where I was able to hold the phone up at arm's length the entire time so I could watch the timer on my mp3 player until I hit my target.

Tomorrow is leg day on the Ironborn challenge and punches day in the gladiator one. I will not be counting the gladiator punches against the ten thousand punches challenge. I may attempt the stairs so that I can start getting ready for March 30th and the Fight For Air Climb, assuming I have the time to do so.

The weight training program I try to follow goes something like 'cardio Sunday, full body strength work Monday, cardio Tuesday, upper body work Wednesday, lower body work Thursday, cardio Friday, full body Saturday'. So yesterday involved the first serious weight training I'd done for my thigh muscles since I got sick.

The Gladiator challenge goes 'punches day 1, one arm planks day 2. Lunges day 3'.

The thirty day wall sit challenge goes up by ten seconds per day, except for every fourth day, where you only do 20 seconds.

Today was a day of stiff quads from yesterday's workout. And it was also a cardio day on which I chose to climb 34+ floors of building for my cardio. And it was the lunge day for the gladiator challenge- and then forty seconds day for the wall sits.

Apparently I am a moron.