(no subject)

[camwyn]

Okay, so, I'm at work and it's snowing like a mad thing outside. This should make going to tonight's New Year's celebration interesting. At least my pilgrimage to Tekserve this afternoon shouldn't be affected; I managed to put my iPod through the washing machine yesterday. Tekserve is located just down the block from a PATH station, and they're offering 10% off the price of new iPods if we turn in old iPods at time of purchase. So that's something.

Damn, I can barely see the buildings out the window. The snow's coming down like mad.

At any rate. In the spirit of previous years, I offer my Doable New Year's Resolutions for 2010.

1. I will not bite Sean Hannity.
...1a. Or Glenn Beck.
2. I will finish the year with no more and no fewer toes than I started it with.
...2a. Even if it means I have to keep one or more in a jar.
...2b. Or sell the extras on Craigslist or something.
3. I will not bring about the end of human civilization unless I also bring about its rebirth before the end of the year.
4. No eating the flesh of the living.
...4a. Other than as permitted under the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation.
......4a.i Any rite of Catholicism, not just Roman Catholicism.
...4b. This extends to drinking the blood of the living as well.
......4b.i. Again, other than as permitted under the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation.
5. I will not form any new political parties.
...5a. Even if they have the words 'screaming Mongol horde' in their name.
...5b. Or 'bull moose'.
6. I will use the elevator at least once.
7. I will not commit nuclear fusion.
8. I will not summon anything bigger than my head.
...8a. Unless it would be really, really, really cool.
9. No buying anything capable of flinging its own poo.
10. I will not reverse gravity.

Comments

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

5b. Good thing TR already took care of that for you, then, isn't it?

...now we just have to *revive* it, not *create* it. :)

[little-birdy.livejournal.com]

I haven't commented in forever (sorry) but your list wins the Internet!

[camwyn]

*bows* Thank you. I believe that one should keep one's New Year's resolutions doable.

[little-birdy.livejournal.com]

Too right! I think my New Year's Resolution to start pointing out whenever a villain in a tv show or movie breaks a rule on the "101 Things I Will Never Do If I Become An Evil Overlord" list. People LOVE it when you do that. ;)

[camwyn]

I still remember the first time that reflexively leapt to my mind while watching something. I believe it was the Dungeons and Dragons movie; Jeremy Brett managed to violate several rules within the first five minutes. I knew we were in for a hell of a ride after that.

[sdelmonte]

Um, you work in the Fox News building, right?

So that first one? Seriously, it's gonna be hard if you ever happen to be in the same elevator.

[camwyn]

Yes I do. And that first one is based in the fact that two weeks ago I staggered out of the building after my evening stair-climbing exercise and saw people lined up outside, next to a sign that said HANNITY and laid out the rules for being on his show. All I could think was 'no biting, no biting...'

To paraphrase John Constantine, he probably has stuff in his blood I don't want in my mouth.

[mephron]

If the weather remains that crappy, give me a call and IM and tell me you're going home instead. I don't want people dying.

Alternately, ...damn, I have only limited spare covers, or I'd say "you could take the train instead of driving and crash here". Well, I have to go to the grocery store, and there's a Marshall's. I'll see how that works. I'm taking a taxi back *anyway* so I'll have cargo space.

[camwyn]

I'll let you know when I get home, whenever that might be. I, too, am not much fond of the 'dying' prospect.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I kinda like the Screaming Mongol Horde Party.

The only problem I can see is that it would constantly be misspelled "Screaming Mongol HOARD," because most folks don't know the difference between a dragon's treasure hoard and a horde of people.

[camwyn]

Hence the screaming. The Mongol(s) in question would have to chase down people and scream "IT'S SPELLED H-O-R-D-E! GET IT RIGHT!" before the part with the skull splitting and the dragging off to captivity and etc.

[feonixrift.livejournal.com]

7 and 10: Aww, but...

[agoodshinkickin.livejournal.com]

You're my favorite!

[cameoflage.livejournal.com]

Would the Catholic rite of transubstantiation count as eating the flesh/drinking the blood of the living? After all, Jesus is dead. And could arguably have been considered undead at one point.

[camwyn]

Possibly, but if you're participating in Catholic Eucharist it is generally assumed that you are accepting key aspects of the Catholic faith, one of which is that the rising from the dead was into new life, not into undeath. So Jesus is currently living, according to those rules, and therefore the transubstantiation exception comes into play.