Crap, it happened again.

[camwyn]

Uh, kelathefinn? I need to petition for another translation. My country on the game NationStates is, er, Tuonela, 'cos I was on a major Kalevala kick at the time I created it and I felt that would sound better than naming my country Pohjola (that or there was already a Pohjola). This has led to a tiny spot of trouble... a telegram from another country that I cannot read. It runs:

Perkele ku toi tuonela oli nimenä jo viety... unohda

and that's it. Er. What does it say? (I replied with the properly spelt 'I am very sorry but I am only an American' sentence.)

Oh, and your postcard arrived. Thank you so much! I am going to have to send you some now, really...

Comments

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

Well, with the time difference and friends like yours, my input seems fairly redundant at this point! LOL!

'Perkele' and 'Vittu' are indeed the most favourite general swear words of young men. 'Perkele' is a bit stronger than 'dammit' or 'bloody hell', but used in much the same way: it is the name of the Devil in Finnish. Tuonela is of course the Underworld, the Land of the Dead... and Pohjola is so popular (it means North Farm, basically, but is so associated with Kalevala that it is used for all kinds of things these days, including my insurance company) it probably WAS already taken. 'vittu' is the 'F' word. Both 't's are pronounced. 'Un-hoh-da koko juttu' or 'unhohda se' is the entire phrase, but the Finns are so taciturn that 'unhohda' is often used by itself.
Terveisia!

[camwyn]

Ah, okay. Oh, dear, I hope the poor fellow wasn't too upset, but I've had Tuonela for nearly two years now. And I was quite aware of its status as the Land of the Dead when I chose the name; I reckoned that any country named after an afterlife would inevitably grow, because let's face it, immigration by death is a guaranteed source of people.

I have weird priorities sometimes, I'm afraid.

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

I just wonder why he commented at all...
And, if you believe in reincarnation, then Tuonela would be bound to have the same kind of demographics as any country, only they would probably be listed as 'deaths/births' rather than 'births/deaths'...

[camwyn]

Eh, it's an online game where people create nations and attempt to play them out on the world stage. It attracts people who might get a bit touchy, and perhaps he just wanted to start a conversation or something. Who knows.

Tuonela is currently one of the biggest countries on the NationStates planet, actually; it's got close to five billion people (another million or two are added every time you make a decision, and I've been taking two decisions a day for a while now). It's also got a phenomenal economy, excellent political freedoms, and excellent social freedoms. We have a universal draft but the people who aren't suited for the military are put to work for the Electoral Commission because in Tuonela, democracy is mandatory. Show up at the polling place before noon on Election Day or people with tasers find you and frogmarch you to the polling place. (They don't care who you vote for. They just want you to vote.) Our citizens are in great health, though the public health system is a bit of a shambles, and we're among the smartest nations in the world. Now if we could just get our damn tax rate below 62% of annual income we'd be great.

Oh, and our national animal is the poro. Which gives the game hysterics because all the issues relating to wildlife and conservation use your country's national animal, and since the poro is the domestic reindeer, some of the questions get really silly. "Should we breed them in captivity / outlaw hunting?" Dude. Porot have a captive breeding programme. It's called FARMING.

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

Actually, they aren't captive when they are breeding ;-)
The problem here is the debate over the wolves: should we allow the protected wolf to be hunted if it kills a poro?