(no subject)

[camwyn]

Dear $LARGE_FINANCIAL_DATA_CORP:

We are grateful for your service. We pay money for your service.

We expect the service to work.

We have been dealing with intermittent disconnects for three weeks. We are tired of being told to run the same tests because all looks well from your end. We have checked our network as thoroughly as we can. We have adjusted the speeds on our switches to match your router's needs rather than using auto-adapting configs. If your next tech arrives with a circuit tester rather than a swap-out router I am going to find your main offices and poke someone in the soft bits with a ball-point pen until we get proper service back. Capeesh?

Grazie.

Dear $L_F_D_C_ROUTER:

I hate you and I hope you get ass cancer and die and go to Hell even though you are a machine with no ass to get cancer in and no soul to be condemned to Hell.

That is all.

Comments

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Someone is volunteering to go with you.

[camwyn]

Much obliged, thanks. The data center we're looking for is in New York City, somewhere in the 212 area code, and the company running it happens to be, oh, property of the current mayor. I sure hope he's better at running the company and the city than his techs are at LISTENING WHEN I ASK THEM TO GET ME A NEW GODDAMN ROUTER because otherwise I really gotta wonder about whether he should ever run for election again, anywhere.

Geeky complaints

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

Why is it all my geeky friends who do first-aid for computers (and the clueless people who call 'help' for things that should be glaringly obvious to fix even for non-geeks): ALL have the same complaints? This could have been written (WAS written) last week by someone on the west coast... sitting here in the Frozen North, I'm dumbfounded...

Re: Geeky complaints

[camwyn]

I remain firmly convinced that there are really only about twelve people in the IT field, and that the personalities involved are swapped out on a time-slice basis as needed. We all have the same complaints because it's always the same people involved.

Re: Geeky complaints

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

LOL! I believe it. Can I pass this explaination on the dubhain (LJ user but I can't make the link to his journal - I think you'd enjoy him)?

Re: Geeky complaints

[camwyn]

Sure! Go right ahead.

And the link is done by typing <, then lj user=dubhain, then >, so it's like this:

< lj user=dubhain >

but with the only space between 'lj' and 'user'.

Re: Geeky complaints

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

OK. dubhain kelathefinn Let's see if that works. Oh, BTW, I sent you a Yule gift in the post, you should get it in about ten days. I want an LJ icon in return, please, if I can make such a request...choose something you think represents me. I'll be making a general plea for icons in my journal in the next few days.

Re: Geeky complaints

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

YAAAAAYYYYY! I DID IT!!! Good on ME!!! Thanks, camwyn.

Re: Geeky complaints

[camwyn]

Any time!

Re: Geeky complaints

[camwyn]

Oh, cool! I'll see what I can do. Did you want animated or non?

Re: Icons

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

One dog to another: any icon, animated or not, that you think represents me in some way. Your 'take' on me after reading my journal. We'll have to figure out how I'm going to actually get it entered as one of my 'user pictures' later on.

Re: Geeky complaints

[lwood.livejournal.com]

*mad cackling*

dubhain was posting on alt.pagan around the time you and I were both at a certain long-named institution.

He was introduced to Clone Theory via dasubergeek, whose clone he is. If you friend dubhain and tell him you're on my clone chain, he'll rather know what to expect...

-- Lorrie
(http://www.cwru.edu/)

Re: Geeky complaints

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

dubhain replies: Actually, we're all clones. Our personalities are stored on tape, and
downloaded in stages: Birth, adolescence and adulthood. It's easier that way
than the time-swapping arrangement, which was abandoned in 1994 due to high
overhead cost and the fact that it never reliably worked anyhow. (Too many
geeks locked-up during the personality switch. It was ugly.)

Passed on by kelathefinn

Re: Geeky complaints

[camwyn]

Hm. Wonder if this is the same system that produces the 00 series of 'agents'- is dubhain a Bond fan at all? I'm convinced that Bond and his fellow spies are grown in vats and tipped out as needed, only to have all prior Bonds' experiences downloaded via braintape so they think it's been them all along.

[lwood.livejournal.com]

I hate you and I hope you get ass cancer and die and go to Hell even though you are a machine with no ass to get cancer in and no soul to be condemned to Hell.

1) Ass cancer in a router would probably be congruent to a worm, virus, et al, which do come in server-compatible forms (Cisco's IOS being the 800-lb gorilla instead of Windows here). Did you really want that to make your life more exciting before the server's removal and, hopefully, explosive demise?

2) *cough* Speaking as an animist, they do too have souls, and given the underlying binary paradigm, there probably are afterlives 0 and 1, where machines consigned to 0 are sent into oblivion, whereas machines sent to 1 can have that personality restored onto another machine, not unlike the Velveteen Rabbit.

However, a machine that has pulled such a Heisenberg surely canonly be destined to 0.

8-)

-- Lorrie

PS: One day, the campus vans will rise up and slay each other, because There Can Only Be One.