Oh, who am I kidding?
Apr. 2nd, 2004 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynFirst stop on the Hellboy Crossover Express: England.
The two trenchcoated figures stared at each other for a long, long time, saying nothing. Finally, the smaller cleared his throat. "Compensating for much?" asked Constantine, indicating the Samaritan.
Next: Scotland.
"'Ere," demanded Hagrid, "what d'yer mean, yer out of my size? There's no one else my ruddy size!"
"Actually, sir, there is," said the hapless shop-clerk. "An American- ah- gentleman- was in here earlier, in rather dire need of new attire. While your special order was a bit large on him, it was all we had, and I . . . didn't much like to tell him no."
"Yeh've got t' be kiddin' me!" said the gamekeeper, shaking his head and pawing at the display of coats as if he expected another to materialize. A shadow fell over his hand, its outline that of a human head, interrupted by two peculiarly placed growths.
"Actually," said Hellboy, "he's not."
Next: back to England.
Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing's pale blue eyes narrowed in an expression of purest dislike. "Am I reading this correctly, Walter? This- thing-" She waved a hand at the blurry image on the screen.
"It does appear to be some previously unknown variety of demon, madam. Admittedly, one which does not seem to display the classical weaknesses of its kind."
"Explain."
Walter clicked a button; a circle briefly appeared around one of the image's hands, sharpening and expanding that portion of the image. The grossly disproportionate, almost stone-like red fingers clutched something that resolved itself into- a rosary. "Precious few demonic entities have shown much capacity for the trappings of even as debased a faith as Catholicism, save for the purposes of desecration."
She sniffed, steepling her fingers. There was no need to speak further of her opinions on the subject.
"I might add, madam, that there is the matter of its choice of armaments." The original image regained the screen; another circle appeared, this one encompassing the left hand and zeroing in. These digits were normal- a trifle thick, but normal- and they held-
"Dear God," breathed Integra, "that thing's bigger than the Jackal. Or the Casull."
"Indeed."
Starting to get tired of time zone weirdness? Right, we're going to New York City next.
Dr. Manning pinched at the bridge of his nose. Man, just when you thought you were used to freak shows, along came guys like this to up the ante.
"I don't really see what the problem is. The current primary apocalyptic scenario involves an ancient evil from beyond the stars, am I right?" drawled the man in the black suit. "Sounds pretty simple to me. Beyond the stars is just about as alien as you can get, and that makes it our jurisdiction."
"That may be so," said Abe Sapien's light, civilized voice- the merman was seated next to him. "But I believe you'll find that these particular entities don't exactly conform to the rules that normally apply. In this case, 'beyond the stars' has a greater significance than mere distance."
"We of the Men in Black are used to dimensional anomalies, Mr. Sapien. I've got one in my partner's locker."
"Not this kind of anomaly, Mr. Kay."
"Just Kay, thanks."
"Kay, then. Dr. Manning, have you still got the book?"
"Huh?... oh, yeah." Manning shook himself and reached into the bag the mer-man had insisted he use. Sapien, he noticed, scootched away from him by a few inches almost immediately.
Kay squinted at the book's spine. "I can't read that," he said, gesturing at the line of battered, faded text. "There a title page on this thing?"
"Sir, I am going to have to ask you not to open the book- it's the sort of thing that reads you..."
I'm sure there are others but this is what's coming to mind for now.
The two trenchcoated figures stared at each other for a long, long time, saying nothing. Finally, the smaller cleared his throat. "Compensating for much?" asked Constantine, indicating the Samaritan.
Next: Scotland.
"'Ere," demanded Hagrid, "what d'yer mean, yer out of my size? There's no one else my ruddy size!"
"Actually, sir, there is," said the hapless shop-clerk. "An American- ah- gentleman- was in here earlier, in rather dire need of new attire. While your special order was a bit large on him, it was all we had, and I . . . didn't much like to tell him no."
"Yeh've got t' be kiddin' me!" said the gamekeeper, shaking his head and pawing at the display of coats as if he expected another to materialize. A shadow fell over his hand, its outline that of a human head, interrupted by two peculiarly placed growths.
"Actually," said Hellboy, "he's not."
Next: back to England.
Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing's pale blue eyes narrowed in an expression of purest dislike. "Am I reading this correctly, Walter? This- thing-" She waved a hand at the blurry image on the screen.
"It does appear to be some previously unknown variety of demon, madam. Admittedly, one which does not seem to display the classical weaknesses of its kind."
"Explain."
Walter clicked a button; a circle briefly appeared around one of the image's hands, sharpening and expanding that portion of the image. The grossly disproportionate, almost stone-like red fingers clutched something that resolved itself into- a rosary. "Precious few demonic entities have shown much capacity for the trappings of even as debased a faith as Catholicism, save for the purposes of desecration."
She sniffed, steepling her fingers. There was no need to speak further of her opinions on the subject.
"I might add, madam, that there is the matter of its choice of armaments." The original image regained the screen; another circle appeared, this one encompassing the left hand and zeroing in. These digits were normal- a trifle thick, but normal- and they held-
"Dear God," breathed Integra, "that thing's bigger than the Jackal. Or the Casull."
"Indeed."
Starting to get tired of time zone weirdness? Right, we're going to New York City next.
Dr. Manning pinched at the bridge of his nose. Man, just when you thought you were used to freak shows, along came guys like this to up the ante.
"I don't really see what the problem is. The current primary apocalyptic scenario involves an ancient evil from beyond the stars, am I right?" drawled the man in the black suit. "Sounds pretty simple to me. Beyond the stars is just about as alien as you can get, and that makes it our jurisdiction."
"That may be so," said Abe Sapien's light, civilized voice- the merman was seated next to him. "But I believe you'll find that these particular entities don't exactly conform to the rules that normally apply. In this case, 'beyond the stars' has a greater significance than mere distance."
"We of the Men in Black are used to dimensional anomalies, Mr. Sapien. I've got one in my partner's locker."
"Not this kind of anomaly, Mr. Kay."
"Just Kay, thanks."
"Kay, then. Dr. Manning, have you still got the book?"
"Huh?... oh, yeah." Manning shook himself and reached into the bag the mer-man had insisted he use. Sapien, he noticed, scootched away from him by a few inches almost immediately.
Kay squinted at the book's spine. "I can't read that," he said, gesturing at the line of battered, faded text. "There a title page on this thing?"
"Sir, I am going to have to ask you not to open the book- it's the sort of thing that reads you..."
I'm sure there are others but this is what's coming to mind for now.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-02 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-03 10:06 am (UTC)Just one note: At least in our world, current usage for the recipient of a knighthood is "Sir" for men and "Dame" for women. You may define it differently in your world(s) (I actually like the gender-non-specificity), but you should also know what the here-n-now definition is.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-03 11:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 10:11 am (UTC)Good so far, if you need any Hellding geek fact, I am here.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-03 07:18 pm (UTC)I HIT YOU WITH HEAVY THINGS.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-03 07:24 pm (UTC)("Here, what's that thing doing? Is it Hagrid's?" "He, not it." "Whatever. Why's it here?" "Well, muggle-repelling charms can't exactly keep you out when you're a magical creature, now, can they?")