Today's disturbing entertainment idea...

[camwyn]

I don't watch 'reality tv', mostly because I develop this irresistible urge to make MST3k comments and throw things every time I see the commercials for Temptation Island or Survivor or whatever. But an idea percolated through my head last night that I thought I'd share:

Make the people on Survivor REALLY earn that million dollars! Change the host. Give Jeff Probst a talk show or something, and put someone else in charge of the challenges...

"Crikey! LOOK at that bewdy of a salt-water croc! All roight, gang, you know what t'do. Your tribe's got t'have him captured an' brought back, alive an' unharmed, to this end of the island by sundown tonight. And no faiyah gettin' out of the challenge by gettin' yerselves bitten by sea snakes like the other tribe did yesterday..."

SURVIVOR: STEVE IRWIN
Outwit - Outlast - Outrun the Host
"For the love of God, somebody vote me off this island!"

Today's pulp survival tip is #55: Never pick up a snake that's longer than your arm.

Comments

[cadhla.livejournal.com]

...

You do understand that skies will fall and oceans will boil into an interesting natural steam-cleaning establishment before words can express how much I adore you, right? I mean, just to be clear.

Pardon me while I go off and giggle hysterically for the rest of the morning.

[camwyn]

I can but do my humble best, my dear. Of course, that leaves the question of the next season. Let's face it, it'd get tremendous ratings, but who'd be willing to sign up if Mr. Irwin was going to be running things again? They'd have to get somebody else, promise the new contestants up and down that it wouldn't be the Croc Hunter, that they'd be dealing with a nice tame setting in, I don't know, rural China or something. Mountains, maybe. An abandoned village. Sure, there'd be wild beasts and such, and you'd have to start your own fires and go on your own hunts, but you'd at least be safe from the lunatic with the poison snakes.

Until you found out who was running the challenges. Then you'd be praying to get Steve-oh back.

"Mr. Chan, no immunity idol is worth the amount of broken bones I'll get if I leap that gorge, tumble halfway down the mountain, grab the flint and tinder kit, set the wild boar on fire, and complete the rest of the trip over the snow field with nothing to protect my bottom except the village's only shovel."

"Ah, you big wimp. Come on. It easy. I show you all how it's done!"

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

*giggles hysterically*

The combination of your two ideas....

I am now highly entertained for the next week. May I worship you?

[camwyn]

Go right ahead, hon. I have given up on ever being anything like to sane, so go right ahead. Glad to have been entertaining.