Surviving a John Woo Movie
Jul. 21st, 2003 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwyn1. Never wear a white suit.
2. Never own a glass table or other piece of glass furniture.
3. Keep your kitchenware behind childproof locks, so that gangsters cannot grab it when they lose their guns.
4. Never piss off anybody handicapped.
5. Keep a gun in the houseplant.
6. Don't stand three inches away from Chow Yun-Fat if you can help it.
7. Beware of churches and flocks of birds.
8. Avoid gas stations. Also large metallic barrels.
9. Never go into a building with more than one car inside.
10. Don't have henchmen.
11. Be good to your siblings and suspicious of your parents.
12. Get used to cigarette smoke.
13. Wear goggles if you can manage it.
14. Do not punch the mirror no matter how angry the gangsters have made you.
15. You need more guns. You just do.
Further suggestions welcome.
2. Never own a glass table or other piece of glass furniture.
3. Keep your kitchenware behind childproof locks, so that gangsters cannot grab it when they lose their guns.
4. Never piss off anybody handicapped.
5. Keep a gun in the houseplant.
6. Don't stand three inches away from Chow Yun-Fat if you can help it.
7. Beware of churches and flocks of birds.
8. Avoid gas stations. Also large metallic barrels.
9. Never go into a building with more than one car inside.
10. Don't have henchmen.
11. Be good to your siblings and suspicious of your parents.
12. Get used to cigarette smoke.
13. Wear goggles if you can manage it.
14. Do not punch the mirror no matter how angry the gangsters have made you.
15. You need more guns. You just do.
Further suggestions welcome.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-21 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-21 12:34 pm (UTC)16. Be ambidextrous.
17. Get out of the gangster life. Now. Not after 'one last job'.
18. Don't rub others' faces in your good fortune.
19. Either be a good cop or don't join the force at all.
20. Sit with your back to the wall. Load-bearing ones for preference.
21. Keep reflective surfaces on hand where possible.
22. Take a defensive driving course.
23. Don't show off.