Surviving a John Woo Movie

[camwyn]

1. Never wear a white suit.
2. Never own a glass table or other piece of glass furniture.
3. Keep your kitchenware behind childproof locks, so that gangsters cannot grab it when they lose their guns.
4. Never piss off anybody handicapped.
5. Keep a gun in the houseplant.
6. Don't stand three inches away from Chow Yun-Fat if you can help it.
7. Beware of churches and flocks of birds.
8. Avoid gas stations. Also large metallic barrels.
9. Never go into a building with more than one car inside.
10. Don't have henchmen.
11. Be good to your siblings and suspicious of your parents.
12. Get used to cigarette smoke.
13. Wear goggles if you can manage it.
14. Do not punch the mirror no matter how angry the gangsters have made you.
15. You need more guns. You just do.

Further suggestions welcome.