(no subject)

Ever find yourself wondering when they're going to revoke your grown-up status?

I'm thirty-one years old. I live in an apartment that I just moved into this past February. I pay my own bills, buy my own food, make my own dinners, look after myself. I have cats. I have a bicycle instead of a car. I go to bed when I decide it's time to do so, without worrying whether someone will notice that I'm up early or late. I get myself out of bed and go to work on my own recognizance. I like this fact. I enjoy being able to rule my own life, to write or work or bicycle or whatever as I please, without worrying that I have to report in to someone else or follow someone else's rules.

And yet, somehow, I find myself nervous about it at times. It was like this in college to a lesser degree- I had my dorm room and my freedom there, and had to look after my own obligations, but I was there on my parents' dime and so felt obligation and responsibility towards them. And the thing was that eventually, the semester would end and I would have to go home and I'd be back under their roof. I might buy my own stuff, but half the time it was stuff that wound up being household stuff- music, or kitchen equipment, or food.

I live in my own place now and I have my own job but I still find myself wondering exactly when someone is going to knock at my door and say 'okay, semester's over- go back and live with your parents now, you've been out and about long enough, fun time's over'. That they're going to revoke my grown-up status and I'm going to have to be someone's child-living-at-home again. I don't want that, at all- this is more of a fear than anything, however irrational it might be. It's just that I get the creeping bahoogies that I'm going to wake up one morning and find out that I'm not allowed to keep running my own life as my own life.

The joys of life as a paranoid, nu?

(no subject)

*watches news footage of people trying to get out of Houston*

*counts the number of Hudson and East River crossings*

*compares to number of Manhattanites*

Should the island of Manhattan have to be evacuated, in all likelihood Jersey City would have to go, too. There is no way that the local motor vehicle traffic infrastructure is designed to handle that many people all leaving at once.

On the other hand, all those cars trying to get onto the mainland and away from the city probably wouldn't be able to move very far or very fast. So as long as there was sidewalk available, I could almost certainly get over US 1's truck-route bridge into Newark, because no one would be able to kill me except by opening a car door at the wrong time.

Saddlebags on back wheel, bags mounted on front wheel, basket mounted on handlebars, bungee cords for the rear wheel carrier rack... I could get a respectable amount out of the city on Wanda. Granted, some of the space would be lost to my cats. But still.

Must buy saddlebags, if only for touring purposes. And grocery shopping.