camwyn | Jan. 23rd, 2004

Another crossover idea that I seriously doubt will ever happen, but what the hell, could be funny. I will have to do research if anyone actually takes this idea seriously, though, as I am insufficiently well-versed in one of the two fandoms involved.

Hellblazer: Hogwarts
John Constantine's Notes from the Field

Day One:

Bugger if I know where I am. Looks like London, smells like London, but it feels wrong. I can't put my finger on it, but this isn't the London I know.

Day Two:

Definitely not the London I know. Too clean. Too shiny. Doesn't grit on my nerves. Also, nobody seems to smoke.

Come to think of it maybe it does grit on my nerves.

Day Three:

Tried to lean against a divider in King's Cross station while lighting a fag. Fell through. Surrounded by children all trying to get out, one bloody huge fellow with a hair problem who smelt vaguely of sulfur. Pretty rich having someone like that put out your cigarette for you but he caught me off guard. Seems I found private area of some kind but no-one seems to think it very strange.

Huge fellow named Rubeus Hagrid. Says he'll explain matters shortly.

Day Three, Later:

Apparently found my way into entirely different universe. Bugger.

Cons of this place:
- Magic involves waving wand, shouting in ridiculous Latin
- Vocabulary of magic-users overall sounds like it was made up by nine-year-olds
- Entire public school full of kids too young to drive or drink being taught magic as if it were safe as maths
- Britain infected by supernatural beasts that escaped from cartoonist's brain if Hagrid's description anything to go by
- Psychotic would-be magical racist dictator attempting to regain power after 14+ year absence
- No record of my existence in any government file or telephone directory

Pros:
- No faeries
- No demons
- No Hell
- No legendary powers rising out of myth to overwhelm modern world
- Wands v. easy to use
- School in question apparently in need of instructor this autumn to teach kids how NOT to get eaten by forces of darkness
- No record of my existence in any government file or telephone directory
- Did I mention no demons?

May have to stick around for a bit. Not like I have a choice. This Dumbledore person Hagrid mentioned should have some clue how to get back home. May apply for that instructor post in the meantime as money from home not as much use here as one would have thought.