Yup. I'm goin' to Hell for this.

Just a little something that'll get properly placed in Hellblazer: Hogwarts when I get there.

( John Constantine stepped out of the Headmaster's office, shaking his head. )

*snicker*

John Constantine's Notes From The Field
Day Twenty-seven

There is a God in this world. Or something, anyway.

Got lost in the bloody castle again today trying to find the Owlery. Wound up seven or eight flights up- didn't keep count- in some corridor I'd never seen before. I swear, the damn thing's a Moebius loop or something, I kept walking down the same stretch of hallway past that same damn tapestry of the dancing trolls... I was just thinking for the third or fourth time that I'd give my left nut for a good smoke when I spotted a door that wasn't there before. Figured maybe it led upstairs or something, so I opened it.

Best. Damn. Smell. EVER. The whole bloody ROOM was packed to the rafters with more cases of smokes than a tobacconist's warehouse. Dunno why they've got a no-smoking rule if there's a room like that, maybe you just have to find your way in as a test or something. . .

Was about to light up when I remembered how half the magic around this bloody place works. Checked. Both nuts still present.

Might just make it through the school year after all.