Stolen from themightyspazz

[camwyn]

Grab the nearest book. Flip to page 45. The first sentence describes your sex life for the next 12 months.

"Baking Pans: See PAN SIZE EQUIVALENTS (PAGE 678); SPECIFIC TYPES."

.... er, the closest book to me was the Food Substitutions Bible. I'm so sorry.

Comments

[lemon_badgeress]

*DYING*

[innerbrat]

Mine:

"Actually I want the long-haired girl from that time before, but you’ll do."

[batyatoon]

Could've been worse. The closest book to me was HTML for Dummies.

"If you create one of these URLs, you must check to make sure that it really is a server-relative URL."

Sound advice for any relationship, I find.

[feonixrift]

"Prove that if W is a subspace of an inner product space V, then:"

.. I don't think I want to know.

(Yes, a math textbook.)

[derien]

"I must have something to wear."

Hm, what do you suppose this means? A lot of role-playing going on?

[kd7sov]

Hmm. My closest book is a German-English dictionary. There are no sentences on page 45, but the first full entry is for deduzieren (to deduce).

Taking a do-over... second-closest book is one of my LDS-edition King James Bibles. Page 45 is Genesis 29-30; first sentence is "And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hat therefore given me this son also; and she called his name Simeon." Um. Not a lot of ways to interpret that in keeping with my standards of correct behavior...

[rymenhild]

"The caesura in this last line calls attention to 'Apart,' which ironically contrasts with the poem's opening phrase: 'Ten years together.'"

So, uh, more of that long-distance relationship, then?

[cameoflage]

The nearest book to me was Show Me How, a pictorial how-to book. It doesn't actually have page numbers so I went with activity #45.

It instructed me on how to make tie-dye stripes.

[laudre]

I'm in the office. Closest book to me, in the sense of a bound volume, is NIH Smoking and Tobacco Control Monograph 9: Cigars - Health Effects and Trends. The first sentence of page 45 is:

"The Massachussetts Department of Public Health assessed cigar use in grades 6 through 12 (CDC, 1997)."

That's disturbing on several levels. However, since a monograph might not be quite within the spirit of the original question, I'll turn to the next closest bound volume, which, being a textbook, is unambiguously a book in every useful semantic context. This happens to be Applied Econometric Time Series (3rd Edition), by one Walter Enders. The first sentence on page 45 is:

"Suppose that the initial conditions are such that y₀ = 0 and ε₀ = ε_-1 = 0."

... I suspect this meme was not targeted at health economists.

[attractivegeekery]

"In our example, you move one place to the left of 4, and find 0."

Conquering Math Phobia - Calvin C. Clawson

This doesn't exactly bode well, does it.