(no subject)

[camwyn]

Okay, I have a new entry for the list of Phrases That Cannot Mean Anything Good When They Appear In An Obituary:

"Pairs of hands and feet"

Note the plural, please. More than one pair.

Comments

[leeshajoy]

The part that really disturbs me is in the headline. "New Severed Limbs Found By Hollywood Sign." New severed limbs. That kind of implies that this happens a lot.

[camwyn]

In this case, 'new limbs' referred to the fact that a few days ago, two women were walking some dogs near the sign and the dogs found a plastic bag, and when they checked it out, the bag had a severed head in it. I don't know that anyone other than V.A.T.S. considers the head to be a 'limb' rather than a 'body part', but whatevs.

[leeshajoy]

Still, you have to admit it sounds like it's routine, doesn't it? "Oh, there's a new dismemberment up by the sign. Must be Thursday."

[camwyn]

"Someone head down the hill and ring Mr. Craven and Mr. Hodder and ask if either of them are missing any prop bits from their latest shoots, please..."

(Mr. Hodder being Kane Hodder, the only actor from the Friday the 13th movies whose name I can actually remember.)

[lienne]

...from the article, it looks like it might have meant that there was a pair of hands, and a pair of feet, thus altogether making up multiple pairs but not more than one pair of any specific appendage? Because if you find four hands you probably don't need to run tests to conclude that more than one person was dismembered to bring this about.

[camwyn]

Hm. Yeah, you're probably right. It'd still be grandly horrible in an obituary, though.

[lienne]

This is true.

[camwyn]

I also include 'found in (his/her) freezer', 'a(n) x-mile radius of the site', and 'scattered across five counties' on the list. The granddaddy of all not-good-in-an-obituary phrases is, of course, 'while cleaning his gun'. Nothing good ever comes of seeing the words 'while cleaning his gun' in an obituary.

[mephron]

There's a part of me that still wants my headstone to read "We buried what we could find".

[ymfaery]

That's sloppy writing on the writer's/editor's part, which unfortunately isn't that surprising.

[banah]

I can't decide between laughing and facepalming.

[camwyn]

Given that their first find was a head in a bag, why not both?

..... I'm going to Hell.

[banah]

I'll save you a seat in the basket because I laughed way too hard at that.

[bodldops]

O.o

[neotoma]

One pair of hands and one pair of feet? I sincerely hope that was what was meant, because sloppy wording is a much better outcome than the idea that the cops would need a DNA test to determine if *four* hands came from the same body...

[mephron]

they might need DNA tests to make sure they'd matched lefts and rights properly.