Event Horizon in less than 250 words

[camwyn]

It goes something like this:

LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: I'm the captain. What's going on?
SAM NEILL: I'm the civilian. We're going after an experimental ship.
SEAN PERTWEE: *very bad language*
LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: Tell me about the ship.
SAM NEILL: *very technical explanation*
SEAN PERTWEE: I'm the engineer and I didn't *very bad language* understand that.
SAM NEILL: Fine. It can go faster than light by folding space and then jumping across the fold, like I'm demonstrating with this pencil and this naughty magazine.
SEAN PERTWEE: That's my magazine!
LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: Didn't this ship disappear a few years ago?
SAM NEILL: Well, yes.
LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: Where's it been all this time?
SAM NEILL: Hell.
LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: What?
SAM NEILL: Nothing, nothing. I don't know either.

*there is a WEIRD DISTRESS MESSAGE*
*it is in LATIN*
*there is NO VIDEO*
*they find the SHIP*
*it is EMPTY AND CREEPY*
*they HALLUCINATE THINGS*
*people DIE*
*they FINALLY DECODE the WEIRD DISTRESS MESSAGE*
*it is full of VERY TERRIBLE THINGS*
*there are EYEBALLS and MORE LATIN*

LAWRENCE FISHBURNE: We're leaving now.
SHIP FULL OF EVIL: No you're not.

*it GETS WORSE FROM THERE*
*no, really*
*also more EYEBALLS*

SAM NEILL: I'm going to go creep the hell out of people by doing a commercial for some insurance company or other where I put my eye up to a hole in a fence now. Do you mind?
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE: *is DEAD*
SAM NEILL: Cool.
WARHAMMER 40K: *eventually happens*

Comments

[viridian.livejournal.com]

This movie killed my soul.

[badninja.livejournal.com]

Lol.

This reminds me of the Dirac Sea time travel theory, except botched up really badly.

WHY DOES THE CIVILIAN KNOW THE MOST *very bad language* ANYWAY?

[camwyn]

Because he's Sean *VERY BAD LANGUAGE* Pertwee, that's why. It comes with the package.

[mic-soldier.livejournal.com]

This all rather reminds me of an episode of Red Dwarf.

I do not know which one, mind you, but it brings RD to mind.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

The Red Dwarf -novels- are much more horrifying then 'Event Horizon'. This is a good thing.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Worst. Movie. Ever.

The ship was frozen, but the bottled water floating around in the zero gravity was STILL LIQUID wtf.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

Your summaries of things are amazing to behold. :D

[camwyn]

Writing them without actually consulting the source material helps, I think. If it's noteworthy enough to remember after a year or so, then it was probably important enough to put in the summary.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

That icon is also amazing to behold.

[silveraspen]

WARHAMMER 40K: *eventually happens*

So utterly and completely true. Oh, that movie.

Sam Neill has something of a predilection for being in creepy apocalyptic films like that. Have you ever seen In the Mouth of Madness?

[camwyn]

Haven't seen it, no. I've heard about it, but I avoided seeing it when it came out because I tend to be very susceptible to supernatural horror movies and I didn't really fancy another year of not being able to go to sleep without mentally invoking the Ghostbusters doing a sweep of the premises first.

[silveraspen]

Wise choice. I'll admit it's not the best film ever or anything like that, but man, it still gives me nightmares.

(ETA, on a completely separate note -- you are aware of the new Paksenarrion book, right?)

[camwyn]

Preordered it back in January. Haven't gotten around to reading my copy yet, as I'm in the middle of Project Orion: The True Story Of The Atomic Spaceship. It's always creepy as hell when RL turns out to have been genuinely weirder than the most screwed-up of my canons.

[silveraspen]

Which, considering your canons, is saying something. :)

I am picking my copy up at the bookstore tonight. Hopefully I will find time to get started with it over the weekend!

[camwyn]

Project Orion was a seriously proposed and considered attempt at designing and building a spaceship that would be powered entirely by the controlled detonation of atomic bombs. Not an onboard fission or fusion reactor. Setting off atomic bombs. Which, maybe not so bad if it was built in low Earth orbit solely for use outside of atmosphere, but they wanted to launch the thing from planetside.

I'll just let that sink in a moment before I mention that General Dynamics established a sub-company exclusively for the project and called it General Atomics. Which wouldn't be nearly so bad- a lot of companies do that kind of thing- if it weren't for the fact that that was a company in the Fallout universe, too. And I don't know whether the gang at Interplay knew that or not back when they created the name.

[silveraspen]

...

I have neither enough face or enough palm to fully express my opinion of this.

Wow.

And on that note, to work I must flee. See you later!

[textivore.livejournal.com]

OMG OMG OMG NEW PAKSENARRION? SQUEEEEEEEEE!

It had damn well be a lot better than Liar's Oath is all I can say.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

If you like Lovecraftian horror, you'll probably enjoy it. It's probably the best Cthulhu film that's been made. It is intensely creepy.

As for "Event Horizon," I've never seen it, but from what I heard, it's definitely Warhammer 40k material. A friend of mine used to assert that it was the most terrifying film he'd seen. Of course, he got to see it for free at a midnight showing because his truck was the backdrop of a drive-by shooting, and thusly had blood on it and couldn't be moved until the cops had processed it, so he might have been in a poor frame of mind for watching a horror film.

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

I know a lot of people who found this movie scary. Granted, it had some good tension in a few scenes. I mostly found that it pissed me off. You have the technology to fold space but you can't clean up an audio transmission and perform a basic translation before you go to see what's on the ship? And the ship just, what, likes to pick people up and kill them? That's a stupid motivation. Also, quit designing rooms full of spiky-spinning death thingies. It's always a design flaw.

[camwyn]

My mother was watching it on cable for some reason. I'm not sure why, given that every time it got really horrific she switched the channel away and came back a few minutes later. Eventually- around OH NOES BATHTUB FULL OF DED WIFE- she switched it off for good, but I still had the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh factor in my head from what little we'd actually seen.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

"THIS EPISODE WAS BADLY WRITTEN!" - Galaxy Quest.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_geekie_/]

Oh, my god. LMAO. Awesome summary.

I used to own this movie when I was in college. Some of the scientific theory was interesting (and Mr. Neill and Mr. Fishburne are two of my favorite actors of all time). But you can literally tell when they change directors midmovie because then? The entire movie goes to Hell. Pardon the pun.

I used to cover my eyes at the eyeball parts because I have a severe, severe eyeball squick.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Last few seconds

DOOR: ::is also evil, has sense of drama::

[lots42.livejournal.com]

P.S. I love the choice of survivors at the end. It goes against typical 'People who survive the horrible shit' cliches.

[the_croupier]

I haet that movie with such haet.


I'm really going to need those two hours back someday, but noooooo.

[camwyn]

I have just had a brief flare of possible rewrite-the-movie-so-it-gets-the-ending-it-deserves. The rewrite involves the use of Milliways and the ending comes about halfway through the film when Lawrence Fishburne says "We're leaving. Hang on," and walks out of the room and into the Bar and comes back with the Ghostbusters in tow. And it features Sam Neill attempting to flatten the Boys with that whole visions-of-hell sequence and Venkman standing up and going "Oh, come on! Do you think I don't know that already??"

[the_croupier]

I approve of this ending!

I'd also appreciate your going meta for a moment and have the director and screenwriter turn up, so they can both get spaced out the airlock.

That would make me even more happy.

[crispengray.livejournal.com]

You know, that movie started with such potential and promise. They started off building tension and being creepy.

And then it totally jumped the shark and was so bad.