camwyn | (no subject)

Test version of Sam finishing up his goodbyes and justifying a few things before he leaves for college. If someone wants to beta it, let me know. I'll put the final version up at

tangled_metal.

Sam still had goodbyes to say- to humans, a little, to Autobots, more. The humans were simple enough. Epps saluted. Fig called him 'college boy' and shoved a pack of his mother's recipes at him. Lennox shook his hand and suggested ROTC with what might have been the barest of winks. Sam just laughed- a little weakly, but he thought it was good enough- and kept moving; there wasn't a force in the world that could get him to pick up a gun at this point...

"Sam."

That was Optimus; Sam had wandered intjo the Autobot hangar without noticing where his feet were going. He gulped and drew himself up straight as he could. "Optimus," he answered, faintly proud of the fact that his voice didn't even waver. "Hey."

"I understand you're going to be leaving us soon," Optimus said.

If the big bot knew anything about Bumblebee's state of mind, Sam couldn't see any sign of it, only concern. Maybe he'd get through this after all.

He nodded. "Yeah. We're- my parents and I, we're going to be heading to Princeton. Tomorrow. I mean we're leaving tomorrow, to get me moved in- they're coming back here afterwards."

"I see." Optimus inclined his head; Sam felt his shoulders tensing, tried to suppress it. "I had wanted to ask if you were sure that going by yourself was the right decision."

Sam winced. "Look, Optimus," he said, "I have to do this, okay? Just- I'm the first Witwicky to ever even get the chance to go to college. I can't bring Bumblebee with me."

"Because of the regulations governing the use of cars?"

"Because-" This was the part he hadn't told Bumblebee. Casting it in terms of unavoidable rules at least stood a chance of sparing Bee's feelings, but there'd been more to it than that. "Because, well... Princeton was a 'reach' school for me, you know? I don't know if you guys noticed, but I'm not exactly the most genius student in the world. I mean, I'm good. But I'm not that good. Princeton's an incredible school. They don't take B students who need financial aid. They take A students. They take B students from rich families." He paused. "They take famous students."

"And you think your association with us influenced their decision."

"Maybe I got in on my own merit, I don't know." Sam raised his hands helplessly. "All I know is, I got in. I have four years ahead of me, paid for and everything. I want to be able to say at the end of those four years that that was me, you know? That I earned what they gave me. Not that I made it because I was 'that kid who hangs around with the Autobots'."

Optimus was silent.

"I want to prove myself, Optimus. This is my big chance, you know? This is- this is for me. For my family. I need to prove that I'm good enough." He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "I have to do this without you guys. I'm sorry."

"Sam," Optimus said at last, "any one of us would say that you have already proved yourself a hundred times over."

"Yeah, well, no offense, but that's you," Sam said. "I have to live the rest of my life with people who aren't you guys."

"Maybe," said Optimus quietly. "For your sake, I hope that's the case."

So do I, sam wanted to say, but bit it back; there was no way he could say it without it sounding wrong. Instead he nodded. "Okay, then," he said. "Glad we understand each other."

"Goodbye, Sam," said Optimus, and held out his hand.

( I gotcha- )

Sam reached up to shake it as best he could, touched one finger-

( nothing something being knowledge wakening INFINITE LIGHT )

-and jerked in his seat as the same dream he'd had every night since he'd said his goodbyes snapped him upright. "Wake up, Sam!" called his mother cheerfully. "We're in New Jersey!"