(no subject)

[camwyn]

Dear spamtards:

I am getting very, very tired of your pathetically silly attempts at getting me to believe I sent something via the 'United Postal Service'. First of all, it's either the United Parcel Service or the United States Postal Service. I'd say you were cleverly avoiding being smacked for copyright violation by either entity, but I don't think you know what clever is. See, second of all, you can't write a coherent sentence to save your lives. You used a spellchecker, I'll grant you that. Overall, though, the sentences in your email ping as if they were written by a fifth grader who knows damn well that he's going to be forced to redo his Write A Business Letter assignment five or six times, but can't be arsed to care. Do you not get real emails? Do you not understand that actual business entities have style sheets and boilerplate text? If you're going to attempt to usurp the identity of a large corporation to spread your moronic little .zip files of Trojanness, the least you can do is put some effort into it. You insult your recipients when you assume that they'll fall for your shabby, HTML-less, threadbare messages, and that throws them right out of the state of mind you're trying to cultivate. There is no excuse for a badly executed con.




... possibly I should look into work opportunities in the marketing departments of evil geniuses, but then I think we knew that already.

Comments

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

If you find an evil genius in need of a proofreader/editor/documentation expert, let me know. Writing documentation and troubleshooting manuals for Deathrays, Freez-O-Cannons, and assorted other Infernal Devices might be a good way to get out of the financial industry. You know, before it implodes.

[e-mily.livejournal.com]

*first thought*

"You mean she wasn't already?"

[e-mily.livejournal.com]

Also, I think your spammers are following in the footsteps of my con artists. (http://e-mily.livejournal.com/368382.html)

LOVELY website. Titles, flash, pages, music, pictures, very lovely.

Content filled with Lorem ipsum.

[camwyn]

I only did that for school. (No, really, I got an assignment to write a tech proposal for one of my business classes. I wrote a proposal for Herr Doktor Viktor von Doom to build him a very large scale laser array capable of putting the Latervian coat of arms on the surface of the moon as part of his national marketing campaign. Got me an A, too.)

[e-mily.livejournal.com]

I'd have given you an A, too. :D

[nesmith.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of a lovely spam message I received once that told me if I did not reply by July 7777777777777777777777777777777777777th that I'd be facing criminal charges. For what, I never found out.

When July 7777777777777777777777777777777777777th rolls around I'll be sure to do that.

[moofoot.livejournal.com]

I'm getting those too, and hahaha I knew when I read it that it was fake first because the 'United Postal Service' doesn't exist. Not to mention those bad sentences.