(no subject)

[camwyn]

Dear 'puter that is not mine:

You were slow even by your usual standards this morning. Your human asked me to get in there and install extra memory, so I did. Now you're swearing up and down that the CD-ROM drive isn't installed and IPCONFIG isn't an actual DOS or Windows command, and while you're happy to log into the network you refuse to show any other signs that you know it's there.

I'm scanning you for any signs of hard drive damage or corruption now. If I don't find any I'm putting the old memory back. Do not make me spend any longer in your innards than I have to. The only computer in the office more expendable than you is the fax server and so help me Belar I will swap your ass for a bitchy but working Gateway.

ETA: Swap accomplished. Later today I'm hooking the old machine up to a spare monitor and booting it with a BartPE bootable CD so that I can extract the user's old IE bookmarks for him. After that? It's screwdriver time.

Comments

[hortorum.livejournal.com]

If I had some of the things on my wishlist, one of the first would be a miniature gibbet and cage, within which is the car-crusher'd remains of a beige-box PC. I would hang it in the server room as an example to others and point at it when machines were... unruly.

[camwyn]

I tend to start shouting about neodymium magnets when things get ugly.