So, I saw 300.
Apr. 1st, 2007 06:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynI really, really, really need some Thucydides now. Or some Herodotus. Alas, the nearest Borders was out of stock on both men's work, so I had to settle for a copy of The King Must Die and a book on Greek religion. Also for screaming "Creedy, put some pants on!!" after I got out of the theater.
YOU CANNOT TELL ME XERXES WAS NOT A PRODUCT OF THE BENE TLEILAXU. Those eyes. That voice. The effed-up proportions. The mutants in his employ- seriously! That was Baron Harkonnen modded for use in a Mortal Kombat videogame! Xerxes was so totally Bene Tleilaxu it wasn't even funny!
At least the animals lent a certain touch of Lord of the Rings to it. They had mumakil! Srsly, those were movie-verse mumakil! No way in hell were those Asiatic elephants, and I refuse to believe Xerxes had a breeding population of African elephants. The war rhino, though- EEEEEEEEE SQUEEEEEEE. MAMA WANT. (Bear in mind I am prone to walking through the Lila Acheson Wallace Hall of Extinct Mammals And Their Relatives at the AMNH and speculating on how to break the various species to the saddle, and what sort of armour they ought to wear.)
Still, though- I've been playing Civilization videogames since the first release of the first edition for the PC. They have Xerxes in several of the games. I could not, could not, look at Bene Tleilaxu Xerxes and think 'this is the ruler of an empire'. I could see a Face Dancer there. But not the ruler of an empire. Xerxes has a BEARD, people, Xerxes has BODY HAIR, Xerxes has DIGNITY. Hello?? Aaaarghghghg...
At least Faramir got to go back to Gondor, though. That was cool. "Oh. They have a cave troll. No, wait, it's an honourary Immortal."
"One does not simply walk into Persia. Its black gates are guarded by more than just slaves. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!"
And was it just me, or did Councillor Jerkface suspiciously resemble Mark Wahlberg?
YOU CANNOT TELL ME XERXES WAS NOT A PRODUCT OF THE BENE TLEILAXU. Those eyes. That voice. The effed-up proportions. The mutants in his employ- seriously! That was Baron Harkonnen modded for use in a Mortal Kombat videogame! Xerxes was so totally Bene Tleilaxu it wasn't even funny!
At least the animals lent a certain touch of Lord of the Rings to it. They had mumakil! Srsly, those were movie-verse mumakil! No way in hell were those Asiatic elephants, and I refuse to believe Xerxes had a breeding population of African elephants. The war rhino, though- EEEEEEEEE SQUEEEEEEE. MAMA WANT. (Bear in mind I am prone to walking through the Lila Acheson Wallace Hall of Extinct Mammals And Their Relatives at the AMNH and speculating on how to break the various species to the saddle, and what sort of armour they ought to wear.)
Still, though- I've been playing Civilization videogames since the first release of the first edition for the PC. They have Xerxes in several of the games. I could not, could not, look at Bene Tleilaxu Xerxes and think 'this is the ruler of an empire'. I could see a Face Dancer there. But not the ruler of an empire. Xerxes has a BEARD, people, Xerxes has BODY HAIR, Xerxes has DIGNITY. Hello?? Aaaarghghghg...
At least Faramir got to go back to Gondor, though. That was cool. "Oh. They have a cave troll. No, wait, it's an honourary Immortal."
"One does not simply walk into Persia. Its black gates are guarded by more than just slaves. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!"
And was it just me, or did Councillor Jerkface suspiciously resemble Mark Wahlberg?
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 10:36 pm (UTC)Maybe tomorrow. Finally.
Knowing you, you might already be aware of it, but when you do go out and grab yourself a copy of Thucydides, be sure you get the Landmark one.
It's never-endingly shiny, with tons of maps and annotations and whatnot. Still the best, so far as I know.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 12:47 am (UTC)The real Xerxes had robes. The first time I saw the graphic novel, I wanted to write Frank Miller a note saying "The Spartans wore *armor* into battle, you twit..." -- I'm rather pleased that the movie came out so homoerotic, given Miller's homophobia. It's nice to see him being bit by his own creation.
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Date: 2007-04-02 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 06:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 03:00 am (UTC)And then, knowing you, probably most of the rest of the blog, but hey. :-> It's a paleontologist talking about Biological Oddities and speculative biology and the cladistics of imaginary creatures, what's not to like?
Couldn't take it
Date: 2007-04-02 12:35 pm (UTC)Re: Couldn't take it
Date: 2007-04-02 12:40 pm (UTC)Re: Couldn't take it
Date: 2007-04-02 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 02:37 pm (UTC)I just figured he had the remainder of Gonzo's special effects budget...
no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 05:00 pm (UTC)Totally a Tleilaxu imperial puppet. Somebody get that boy some clothes.
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Date: 2007-04-02 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 07:50 pm (UTC)But it's not as if they were still around to collect royalties, hee.
(I've got used to reading on the Zaurus, but it's a big screen for a handheld.)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 07:52 pm (UTC)