(no subject)

[camwyn]

The Voices came back last night.

(For those of you new to this concept in my journal, I occasionally have incidents that other people might consider to be 'hearing voices', in the sense that a deep dark part of my own psyche suddenly rears up and says YOU WILL DO THIS NOW, AND YOU WILL HAVE NO PEACE FROM ME UNTIL YOU DO. However, the orders are never things like 'tell everyone that you are the Messiah' or 'raise an army to lead against your enemies' or 'build a baseball field where your cornfield ought to be'. No, oh no, it is not that easy. My voices say things like YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO KNIT. RIGHT NOW. YES, IT'S BLACK FRIDAY AND YOU'RE SICK AND THERE IS NO YARN IN THE HOUSE. GO OUT TO THE STORE AND BUY YARN AND NEEDLES RIGHT NOW. Or sometimes, TODAY YOU LEARN TO MAKE SCHNECKEN. JUST DO IT. Or HI THERE. WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SOAP TODAY. FROM BEEF FAT. GO TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE IN GREEN VILLAGE AND BUY SOME KIDNEY SUET. YOU GET TO RENDER IT YOURSELF. NO, WE WON'T BE REASONABLE ABOUT THIS. It's pretty much always like that.)

Anyway, the Voices hadn't made their presence felt in some time, but last night they came roaring back while I was in the yarn aisle of the Rag Shop in Bayonne. And they said, WE WANT AN AFGHAN.

So, y'know, I start looking at the bulky yarns.

NO. A REAL AFGHAN. NOT SOMETHING YOU DO ON THOSE WUSS BUNNY SIZE 35s.

Oh dear.

THAT YARN THERE. TO YOUR LEFT. THE VARIEGATED KIND.

It's worsted weight Patons all wool.

THAT. MAKE AN AFGHAN OUT OF THAT.

So, I've got as much of the colorway as I could buy there, and now I have to come up with a pattern to use. I don't think one with a lot of holes and yarnovers in it is going to do, but.... there it is.

*sigh*

Jack Handey, rest assured that I have taken your lesson to heart. Said lesson being, "If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised."

Comments

[derien.livejournal.com]

I need more Jack Handey in my life - damn I miss that little spot of philosophy. :)

[cupenny.livejournal.com]

... Good luck with the afgan. I tremble at the thought of doing a full-sized blanket.

[lasa.livejournal.com]

Umm, you know I write hand knitting patterns for the yarn companies and magazines out there? Tell me what you're looking for, the size you want it and the needles/weight of yarn. If I can't find you a pattern, I'll write one.

[camwyn]

I'd forgotten. I'm looking for something that uses worsted weight yarn, size seven or eight needles, not a lot of holes or yarn overs, and cabling okay.I may go with the mitered square design in this month's Knitty, but if you know of something, that's great. Thank you.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

Well, you clearly aren't possessed by an agent of Hell. Because, you know, your hands certainly aren't idle. Maybe you're possessed by a domovoi or some other house spirit. How do you feel about a bowl of milk left on the hearth? Have you felt the need to make shoes for people in the middle of the night? If someone sees you making this afghan, will you stop, curse their household, and disappear into the night?

[camwyn]

A bowl of milk left on the hearth would be taken in and given to the cats, most likely. Making shoes, no, not so much, although I came quite close to going through my apartment building on St. Nicholas' Eve to see if anyone had accidentally left shoes outside that I could put candy in. And not so much with the cursey-disappearey, either.

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

My mother did a neat afghan a good many years ago done in horizontal stripes of color, with a butterfly stitch effect--at intervals, you drop a single stitch for all five or so rows in any given color, slip the loop from the bottom row of that color onto the left needle, and then knit it. the stretched-up stitch makes the butterfly body, and the dropped stitch areas fan out into the wings. I expect that would look nifty in a variegated yarn.