I believe this will be the last part of the latest Hellblazer: Hogwarts chapter.

[camwyn]

John slammed the door behind him, stalked to his desk, and dropped ungracefully into his chair. Not a moment too soon, either; shortly after, the door opened and the sixth-year Slytherins started to file in. He cast a somewhat more jaundiced eye than usual over them. They seemed about up there with the rest of the sixth years- better robes, maybe, or newer books- but really, if they hadn't been dispatched to his classroom during the Slytherin class period he'd never have been able to pick them out from the rest of the kids.

Frankly, he hoped he was wrong. This bunch was supposed to be ambitious as all fuck, and generally that at least meant interesting sidetracks, if nothing else.

As the last two sat down, he pulled himself to his feet and cleared his throat. "Right," he said. "Welcome to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, m'name's Constantine, you lot've probably already heard of me if you've any ears at all around this place, I don't know what you've heard but half of it's b-"

The list Dumbledore had given him rustled warningly of its own volition. He made a mental note to pin the thing to the wall with the first silver implement he could find, and went on.

"-well, half of it's nothing but lies, and I wouldn't trust the rest of it either if I were you. I don't know who you are or what you've done in years one through five, only that you've passed your OWL exam to get into this class, whoever you lot are. Which means, I figure, that you want to be here for whatever reason. Am I right?"

The students, as one, looked back at him with the same expression: is he quite serious?

"Suppose that's a yes, then," Constantine muttered. "Right. Now, I was- yes, who're you?"

The skinny, dark-haired lad who'd entered second to last dropped his hand. "Theodore Nott, Professor," he said. "Er. . . do you really not know anything about what's gone on here lately?"

"Well, I've been living in the castle since end of last term and the ghosts won't bloody leave me alone. Not to mention that I've had about five other Defense classes before this and your fellow students will talk, but frankly? I don't bloody care."

"I'd think the Gryffindors would've said something to catch your interest, at least," said another boy, a pale-haired sort with the face of a weasel. "That lot doesn't know when to shut up-"

"Here, who're you?"

"Malfoy, Professor. Draco Malfoy."

Constantine frowned, riffling through his recollections of the prior classes. "Mmm… not especially, no," he said. "They were too busy working to talk much. And that's what you're going to be, all right? This isn't a cruise through History of Magic, believe me." Which is good, 'cos if it were, I'd be buggered. "You've got one more exam to sit in two years' time. There'll be enough academics between now and then for you to pass whatever written stuff they put in front of you. I'll be handling the practical side- however that might shape up."

A murmur went up among the students; John let it run around the room for a bit, then coughed again. "Questions?"

A hard-faced girl just behind Malfoy put up a hand.

"Right, and you are. . .?"

"Pansy Parkinson," she said, sitting up a little straighter. "Is it true that you dueled Professor Snape for this position, sir?"

Constantine considered her for a moment, then nodded. "Dumbledore's orders," he said.

Her expression brightened as she leaned forward. "In our second year," she said, "Professor Lockhart started a dueling club, but we haven't had one since-"

"Looking forward to a bit of spell-slinging in earnest, eh?"

Malfoy leaned over to mutter something to the hulking young man next to him.

John let it pass. Parkinson nodded. "We scarcely got the sort of chance I would've liked to really practice in earnest last year, Professor."

Nott rolled his eyes; a square-jawed, black-haired girl in the next seat let out a snort. Parkinson whipped around to glare in her direction before turning back to the front. "Well- not as much as I would have liked, anyway."

"You'll get your chance," John said. "Right here. But it won't be dueling."

All of them straightened up at that. "Professor!" Malfoy exclaimed, a disappointed sound.

"It won't be dueling because I've seen what you lot call dueling, and frankly, it's a lot of-" The paper rustled again. "-tosh. Think the enemy's going to hold still at his end of the field? Think you're always going to be faster on the draw? Not bloody likely." He surveyed the room. "Out of all you bunch sitting here right now, I reckon maybe two of you could really hold your own in a proper battle- if that. And that's what we're talking about here. Defense Against The Dark Arts isn't about rules- tell me, Parkinson, you heard about the duel, did you? Did you hear how I ended it?"

She shook her head mutely.

"Right. Let's just say it wasn't with a spell."

"But-" she protested. He cut her off with a wave of one hand.

"You'll find out soon enough, I reckon. No, see, when I went into that duel I knew Snape wanted my-" Another rustle went up from the parchment. John glared at it fiercely; it subsided. "-hide for his office wall. If you're lucky, that's all the enemy's going to be after once you're out of here. You of all people ought to understand the difference between a duel and a bloody battle, all right?"

The huge boy next to Malfoy frowned, his expression pensive and perhaps a touch confused. Towards the back a slim Black young man steepled his fingers on the desk, looking thoughtful. "So," Parkinson said, "that means-"

"Means that once we get done with the day's reading and homework, you lot are going to have a serious go at takin' each other apart."

Comments

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*bounces around the room like a ferret on crystal meth*

Oooooooo! Cam, you wicked genius! Do say you'll have the bit about the Slytherins ripping into each other (with snarky Constantinian play-by-play) soon!

[drharper.livejournal.com]

Not to mention the "gentle reminder" Dumbledore left him! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[daeuiel.livejournal.com]

*mad shrieking*
I just logged in to check the flist and this is the first thing I see. Yes! The lack of a subject line let this sneak up on me, and I just started reading and didn't stop until the very last line.
Oh, this is good. Not only a good chapter, but the end is making me look forward to the next even more.

[camwyn]

Well, honestly, it's only part of a chapter. I'm going to have to stitch together the entirety of the chapter, get it beta'd, then submit it to the archives.

I had hoped to get the scene where John demonstrates innovative uses of 'accio' in, but really, I think that may work better during the next Slytherin class period. No sense demonstrating gross disrespect to the teacher until you've taken their measure.

[incandescens]

Ooooh yes. And played just right.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I've not missed any chapters, have I? It's been so long I sort of forget where I left off...*gentle nudge*l

Loved this bit.

[camwyn]

Nah. This is goign to be strung together with the other shards I've done and posted as the next chapter, and out of fairness I'll do the chapter after that next instead of alternating with WYGO?.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

Niiiice. *applauds* Can't wait till the next instalment. It's almost better than Firefly, and Firefly is my new "best fictional anything ever". *mad grinnings*

[kaikias.livejournal.com]

*squee*

[temporal-tech.livejournal.com]

you know, i haven't read any of your fanfics this far, cause i didn't figure that i knew enough about harry potter or hellblazer to enjoy them. but, i clicked on the cut tag (not realizing it was part of the next chapter) and read it, and decided to go back and read the earlier chapters. i've gotta say, you've got a real grasp of dialog. that's almost always the lacking point in the fics i read (and the ones i write, for that matter). i'm looking forward to reading the full next part, and this story's been added to my list of bookmarks of "fics to check up on later".

[kyrielle]

*shrieks gleefully* *bounces* *giggles*

[mattador.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[not-croaker.livejournal.com]

And all of a sudden, the Slytherins have a new favorite teacher....

[camwyn]

The smart Slytherins, anyway. Get lazy or careless, and you're in arseloads of trouble. We're going back to the old defintion of Slytherin here- ambitious and cunning, gorrammit.

[drharper.livejournal.com]

"Professor Constantine rocks!"

"He's a Hufflepuff!"

"I don't care. How many Hufflepuffs would teach you to aim for the family jewels with an Accio?"

Slytherins ain't got nothing on John

[hohaiyee.livejournal.com]

Absolutely fucking nothing, John tricked three devils to cure him of cancer and then flipped him off, Voldemort is just an eternal n00b.