NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FROM THE PAST YEAR

[camwyn]

This year, on January third, I put up a list of ten resolutions I felt I could actually keep. I'm proud to report that through a combination of dedicated teeth-grinding and pure happenstance, I have successfully kept nine of them.

1. I will not eat dirt.
2. I will not yell at old people.
3. I will not marry for money.
4. I will not grow a beard.
5. I will not get LASIK.
6. I will not run for President of the United States.
7. I will not domesticate spiders.
8. I will not leap tall buildings in a single bound.
9. I will not cause avalanches rewrite anything's genetic code.
10. I will not put out the Sun.


... #10 I technically violated when I collaborated with a friend- the one who's done the vast majority of the work on The Prequels That Never Were- on the possibility of a sci-fi setting where a planet's star had gone out, or was on its way to going out, and the civilization burrowed into the planet and found a way to keep things operating anyway.

Now I need ten more resolutions that I can keep for the coming year. I would ordinarily put 'I will not summon that which I cannot put down' on the list, but I have gotten a little too used to things erupting in my head and not going away, so that's off the list...

Comments

Just off the top of my head ... a few suggestions.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

I will not summon any extradimensional entity that I cannot put back.

I will not attempt to eat anything larger than my head.

I will not try to change the pH of the Atlantic Ocean.

I will not train attack gerbils.

I will not engage in photosynthesis.
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Just out of curiosity, did you cause any avalanches this year?

Re: Just off the top of my head ... a few suggestions.

[camwyn]

Not yet.

Re: Just off the top of my head ... a few suggestions.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

Well, you've only got seven and a half days. Best get to it.

[traveller-blues.livejournal.com]

1. I will not travel to Hawaii in order to be an extra on Lost.
2. I will not cook and consume tripe.
3. I will not discover that my family geneaology includes Mathama Ghandi.

-Traveller

[sthenyaer.livejournal.com]

Sounds good!

[batyatoon]

I will not deliberately introduce mutations into my own bloodline.
I will not trap and skin Muppets to sell their pelts on the black market.
I will not run for President.
I will not set myself on fire without a very good reason.


:D?

[ouatic-7.livejournal.com]

Kudos to you on successfully not growing a beard. I am, however, even though I'd rather not. It's not the attractive full kind, just the horrible, scraggly, old lady kind.

[whobunkyboo.livejournal.com]

You and me both. Isn't PCOS fun???

[ouatic-7.livejournal.com]

I had to look up PCOS. Looking at the description, I'm counting my blessings. I'm just getting an old lady beard because I'm getting to be an old lady. 'Course, it beats the alternative.

[whobunkyboo.livejournal.com]

I will not cause spontaneous thermonuclear explosions.

I will not train an army of cockroaches to do my bidding.

I will not attempt to lift my house.

[ouatic-7.livejournal.com]

Why train the roaches when you can just buy them off the internet?

[ouatic-7.livejournal.com]

Last year's resolutions are all so negative. Why not resolve to do rather than not do?

1. I will eat something every day.
2. I will only curse out old people when I am driving and inaudible to them or in the movie theater when their sotto voce is not sotto enough.
3. I will rub my kittys' tums each and every day whether they want me to or not.
4. I will breathe every day.
5. I will yell at my husband at least once and at my child at least once a week, whether they need it or not.
6. I will allow the piles of junk to accumulate until the health department comes 'round.

[sundre.livejournal.com]

I will not drop an anvil on anyone

I will not spontaeously combust

I will not attempt to become Prime Minister of Canada (did you notice the election angst we are having just now? If you decide to try this one after all, I would infinitely prefer you to Paul Martin. Though I suspect your long range plans as Emperor do not depend on elected office.)

I will not read anything by Dan Brown

I will not build/use a death-ray without a permit

[msp-hacker.livejournal.com]

Technicaly, since you said "the Sun," you can put out any sun you want as long as it's not the sun that the Earth orbits around.