*sigh*

[camwyn]

Grandpa's in the hospital. He's been in a nursing home for some time, and apparently he developed a sore that got really big, really fast. Like, as in, going to operate on Thursday, kind of big.

Grandpa's got end-stage Alzheimer's. Has done for some time.

I visited him in the hospital today. He was sleeping. I spoke to him a little, but even if he were awake, I don't think it would have made much of an impression on him. I don't know how much of him is there any more, or when he was last capable of understanding, or any of that. Figured it couldn't hurt anyway.

's times like this make me think of the Buddhist approach to things... I love my grandpa, always have, but I hope like hell that he gets his release soon. I really do. I've hoped that, and prayed that, for some time. He doesn't deserve this. No one does. The wasting-brain diseases are some of the worst ways to go that I can imagine. This man fought in the second World War, laid brick for his family's sake, worked hard all his life so he could finally retire in peace. He doesn't deserve this.

If I ever see Dylan Thomas* afoot in this world I shall give him such a smack.

*'Do not go gentle into that good night / Rage, rage against the dying of the light'

Comments

[ouatic-7.livejournal.com]

My parents both died in ways that were anyway but pleasant. You can keep your longer lifespan if the end is just going to be a drawn out horror show.

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

God... I'm sorry, Camwyn...

[camwyn]

Nothin' to be sorry about. It happens. I just wish it didn't take so dang long, for his sake if nothing else.

But I appreciate the thought. Thank you, hon.

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

Hugs.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your grandpop. I wish him peace, too. And you.

[sundre.livejournal.com]

Sorry, Camwyn. I hope his end is as quiet and gentle as it can be.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

Peace to you both. Wasting-brain diseases are indeed one of the worst things that has ever happened to humanity.

[zou.livejournal.com]

I wish your grandfather peace as well.

[derien.livejournal.com]

My grandmother is in a similar state. People start to worry when I tell them I've planned ways to die - they think this is suicidal ideation. It's not, it's just looking ahead. I know I have Alzheimer's awaiting me, and that's not the way I want to go. I'll hang on as long as I can convince myself I've got enough brain left, and I can only hope that I'll recognize the when it's time to be done.

[condotierre.livejournal.com]

I don't say things well but I understand the feeling.

*hug*

[lasa.livejournal.com]

I watched my grandmother go like this. It's terrible, very painful. The most painful part were those brief moments of illumination when she /knew./ I didn't know if when those ended I was glad for her, or sad because that meant that we lost the times with the very last part of her that we knew that was left.

[truebluespark]

*hugs*

[ocean-song.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* I'm so sorry hon. Got a candle lit for him tonight. Seeing two of my Grandparents go that way, I know personally how hard it is. I will pray for an easy and quick passing for him, and many moments of clarity until then. And some peace for you as well.

[just-the-ash.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[janewt.livejournal.com]

I'm awfully sorry. My mother-in-law has Alzheimer's; she's physically still fairly healthy, but there's very little noticeable response to the outside world. She's barely past 60...

I agree with you entirely. This is undeserved, and I hope that he--and his family--can have some peace and comfort soon.

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

So sorry, Cam. I had a great-uncle with Alzheimers. We weren't close, but it was hard watching my great-aunt as he forgot who she was. Toward the end, he even became paranoid of her and it just tore everyone's heart.

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

No, if you really love someone, more than you love our own comfort, you stiffen your spine and let them go. I remember a conversation with a friend, when her husband had a massive heart attack and was in a coma: "But if I turn off the respirator, I'll kill him!" "No, if you turn off the respirator, you're leaving it up to God/Fate/X: if it's his time, he'll go."
Sometimes people don't know how to let go; sometimes they're afraid that if they do let go, people will find fault with them, and sometimes, they're hoping to prove somthing to someone if they refuse to let go. But sometimes, you just have to let go.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Wishes for the best for everyone.

[lwood.livejournal.com]

*sighs, and hugs*

I have sympathy for you. My own grandmother had a long death, one of those "races to the finish line", and so did one of the first people I ever met here in California.

When people ask me to pray (or other similar verbs) for people in this condition, and my initial feel is that an early release is best because they've got, at best, a couple toes left clinging to this earth...

I pray for the sick person's "highest good", with full understanding that death can be the highest good.

-- Lorrie

[lwood.livejournal.com]

...but then again, I'm on pretty good terms with death, it's dying poorly that scares me.