camwyn | You know,

given that I took the 'what enemy of the Christian Church are you' test the other day and came up the Atheist, my first result on the 'what dictator are you' test amused me. (Then again the Atheist result amused me, because I'm anything but.)

Today's pulp survival tip is #164. Do not use nicknames for royalty.

Don't go to take these tests unless you're willing to get smacked between the eyes by an AMAZING number of pop-up ads. I only survived because I use Surf in Peace 2.0 from IconLabs Software to kill pop-ups by name as soon as they're generated.

Anyway, I took the World Dictator Test and came up with these two guys at the top of the list. The first is just amusing; the second is there because poisonedminds.com's own Evil Dictator Test yielded that result the last four times I took it.

You are Pope John Paul II. I know, I know- even more unlikely a dictator than George W. Bush, no? Well, in all sense, he's the unquestioned singular leader of a theocratic state (Albeit the smallest state in the world) with a devoted following, pathological militant elements, and a name-based descendancy system without any true legal recourse. You issue tight controls and demands of your followers, and you threaten them with things much worse than death should they not comply. You are so paranoid about your own personal security that you will not appear in open, public spaces without a complement of overt security guards and a specially-designed conveyance, resistant to all forms of bullets. Moreover, your rise to power followed the shady death of your predecessor, who was attempting to unravel the link between the Vatican, the CIA, and crypto-fascist Italian Masonic lodges. Giving the man some credit, at least he apologized for the Catholic Church's non-involvement in the Holocaust. However, given the Spanish Inquisition and a history of more crimes committed in the name of God than any other theocracy, the Pope is the face of Catholicism- give the man a hand!
What dictator areyou?!?!

You are Chairman Mao. You led a small group of people through everything- partisan politics, mayorship, government repression, and dodging the govies for the Long March of almost six thousand miles all over China, and look where it got you! A peasant from humble background, you adopted Communist theory on a visit to Shanghai and went through all that trouble to bring it about to your nation. The second country in the world to adopt Communism as a national ideology, you oversaw developments such as the Cultural Revolution, a ten-year attempt to exterminate what you called the Four Olds: Old Thought, Old Words, Old Ideals, and Old Action (I think these are all; let me know if you're a better Asian history scholar than I am, and you know what they are :-)). Your word was absolute, and something like ten million people are said to have died, maybe more. The Great Leap Forward was another one of your greatest hits; in an attempt to bring China's agrarian economy up to par with Japan's, you directed a massive restructuring of the economy, sending almost all your citizens out into the farms and paddies to work. Obviously, it didn't work out, because you're not Japan, stupid. You are still worshipped by millions of Chinese schoolchildren with your "Little Red Book," the instruction manual on being a good Chinese Communist.
What dictator areyou?!?!