camwyn | A little bit of technical writing.

I was asked to write up instructions on some common computer tasks around my office, so I've put together a manual while my boss was away. Thee Bygge Boke of Instructions- Wyth Referense to: Logging In - Rebootyng Ye Servers - Backynge Up Ye Servers - Changing Ye Pass-Words - & Startynge & Stoppynge Ye Raiser's Edge. (That last is a fundraising database we use.) I've presented most of the topics as fairly simple conversations between the user and the computer in the hopes that it would help people feel more comfortable. To ensure that I didn't step on anyone's toes, the user names were all things like kwagner, pparker, eblade, jgrey, and so on. When it comes to Changing ye Pass-Words, though, our material's a little complicated. We've got two separate servers and only one is set to have passwords expire on a regular basis, plus most people have their machines set up to allow them to log into individualized Windows settings. Passwords cause us the most trouble around here, at least from the number of anguished calls I get about 'it won't take my password!'. I still have trouble getting people not to write their passwords on post-its stuck to the monitor, too, so people need to know how to choose a secure yet memorable password. Some of that was covered in ordinary text. Here's the current draft of the dialogue in that bit of the manual. . .

bbanner: Hulk have to change password?
Computer: er… yes.
bbanner: Hulk not LIKE change password.
Computer: um. . . sorry?
bbanner: Bah. Puny computer. Hulk change password.
Computer: All right, um. . . what are you changing it to?
bbanner: Hulk have trouble remember sometimes. Hulk pants purple. Hulk know purple.
Computer: Right, but you used 'purple' last time-
bbanner: Grrr.
Computer: Look at me sitting quietly waiting to be told what to do.
bbanner: Hulk fix. Hulk change some letters into numbers. That make Hulk password hard for puny humans to guess. Hulk use password purp13 instead. Hulk remember that.
Computer: That's a good password.

bbanner: Hulk log in Netware. Hulk change password. Hulk NOT LIKE HAVING THREE PASSWORD.
Computer: And I don't blame you one bit.
bbanner: Computer make fun of Hulk?
Computer: No!
bbanner: Hulk click Start button. Hulk go to Settings. Hulk choose Control panel.
Computer: Coming right up Mr. Hulk sir.
bbanner: Hulk find 'Passwords' in Control Panel, double-click on that. Rrragh. Puny mouse.
Computer: . . .
bbanner: Hulk click button says 'Windows Password'. Hulk make sure check mark in box next to Microsoft Networking, but NO check mark next to Novell NetWare.
Computer: But only if you didn't try to change either of the other passwords.
bbanner: Computer right. Hulk already change NetWare password. Hulk not change Windows password, not change Microsoft Networking password yet. Hulk changing those two now.
Computer: Sounds good to me.
bbanner: Hulk type old password, gamma, in box 'Old Password'. Then Hulk type purp13 in box 'New Password'. Then Hulk type purp13 in box 'Confirm new password'. Then Hulk hit OK.
Computer: Password successfully changed, sir.
bbanner: Good. Hulk not like when passwords different.

I think it should be fairly easy to understand, don't you?