Holy sweet mother of swamp monkeys.

[camwyn]

See this thing in my user icon? It's a baby Paraguayan anteater- a giant anteater, Myrmecophaga tridactyla. I made an icon of it because it was funky and strange and looked like it would provoke response, and it has.

I have just found out some thoroughly disturbing facts about the beastie:

Length: 67 - 83 inches
Weight: 44 - 86 lbs
Gestation: 130 - 150 days
Offspring: 1
Life Span: 26 years
Top Speed (Ground): 31 mph

Let me repeat that: we are looking at an anteater that can grow to the size of a friggin' bloodhound, weigh as much as a really kickin' Siberian husky, and in short sprints outdo your average horse. Furthermore:

The mother anteater carries her single offspring on her back for a considerable length of time, even though the baby anteater is capable of a slow gallop four weeks after birth. Docile and inoffensive by nature, the anteater’s principal enemies are the puma and the jaguar. These large predators must be careful in their attacks, however, as an embrace by the anteater’s powerful forelimbs can sometimes prove fatal.

Y'see that? Piss 'em off, and they can kill JAGUARS.

Anteaters rule.

Comments

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Anteaters totally rule. That is incredibly cool.

Luna Lovegood should have an anteater Patronus. It looks so weird, and no one would take it seriously...and then it would run up to some Dementors and kill them the way a living anteater kills jaguars.

And everyone would be standing around with their mouths open. And Luna would say, "I told you anteaters were dangerous." And smile.

[camwyn]

"... it's hugging the Dementor."

"You'll notice the Dementor isn't having much luck getting away."

"Dear Merlin, it's got- what on Earth is that on its claws?"

"Dementor blood. It got the claws in while it was breaking the Dementor's spine."

"...."

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

This was the best entry in the past 200 on my friendsfreinds page.

Thank you. Anteaters Rule, indeed.

[camwyn]

Any time!

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

Anteaters are pretty cool, but like all xenatharans (http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Xenarthra.html), they're pretty dim.

It's pretty cool that they can whack jaguars though. They probably knock them apart with those claws -- anything that is used to tear apart trees is probably useful for taking out large carnivores as well.

[fuchsoid.livejournal.com]

I hadn't realised that so many of my favourite animals were in the same order. My totem animal or patronus may be the sloth - I imagine it wouldn't really defend me, but just hang there looking dopily amiable.

[camwyn]

Oh, lord, yeah. I know they're not bright. Still, they're funky.

[fuchsoid.livejournal.com]

The ants in Paraguay must be really nervous. And nourishing, if the anteaters get to that size.

I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[takhys]

...hand to God I was chased up a tree by a pair of them. It was the most ridiculous slo-mo chase scene you've ever seen.

Takhys: *working in the jungle clearing underbrush for a trail*
Pair of GIANT anteaters: *snuffling along*
Takhys: *worried look*
Pair of GIANT anteaters: *snuffling closer*
Takhys: *gathers equipment and walks away*
Pair of GIANT anteaters: *follow*
Takhys: *climbs tree*
Pair of GIANT anteaters: *rear up on hind legs and slowly paw/scrape at the tree*
Takhys: Oh hells...at least I brought a snack and a book.

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[camwyn]

*cackles helplessly*

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I always bring a book with me whenever I go out. Not that I expect to get slow-chased by anteaters.

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[skalja.livejournal.com]

I want your life. Also, I believe we've met before. *eyes you, snickers, and points to her icon*

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[takhys]

*cackles!* Oh dear...I think my mun is showing.

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[skalja.livejournal.com]

*sneakily adds to friendslist - OMG!*

Re: I was chased up a tree by a pair of them

[takhys]

*dittos!*

[midnightlurker.livejournal.com]

...yeah, I really do want that in a Pokeball. :)

[ocean-song.livejournal.com]

That was just too cool, and weird, for words. IMgainig an anteater killing a jaguar is like imagining a possom beating up gangbangers in his free time. Life is too surreal. But since I've been reading anthro all day, getting eatne by jaguars was a frequent subject of conversation.