Anatomy of another thought:

[camwyn]

Pope Benedict XVI.

Benedict.

Benny.

"Yo, your Holiness! Good to see you're still wearin' the big hats! You licked any Vatican light sockets yet?"
"Not to my knowledge, Vecchio. I’m as surprised about this as you are, considering that the last time I checked, I wasn't a Roman Catholic."

... at least it will be a polite, civilised part of Hell.

Comments

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I will forgive you making a pope post, as it's also a mountie post. *nods seriously*

[camwyn]

Everyone else's beaten most of the Pope material to death already. I just had this image of Veccho grousing that this was going way too far in terms of breaking the Italian hold on the papacy...

I'm almost certain there's a way of working in a comment about red cardinal's robes vs. the tunic somewhere, but damned if I have the energy to figure it out.

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Now you've given me a mental image of Benny Hill as the Pope!

[camwyn]

As if Rome doesn't have enough car accidents already.

[trinityday.livejournal.com]

You're evil.

And hee!

[camwyn]

I'd say 'this is my brain on caffeine', but the idea occurred to me before I'd consumed anything more than the amount of Tom's of Maine Wintermint Toothpaste with Fluoride and Baking Soda one naturally absorbs through the gums during a good brushing. Noooooo caffeine at all.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Well, polite and civilized might be a bit much to ask. I'll see about getting us some nice rooms with a view of the lake, though, and of course the spa/hotel does a really nice selection of virgin cocktails.

Might have to deal with Asmodeus attempting to impress you with his crown, though. He's such an immature little bastard.

[camwyn]

Well, considering that so far I've pissed off:

- the Christian gatekeepers of Hell
- the Jewish gatekeepers of Hell
- (I don't recall doing anything that'd specifically annoy whoever has that duty in Islam, but hey, it's all the God of Abraham in the end, so probably them too)
- the Yama Kings and most of the Chinese pantheon other than Monkey
- Emma-O and the rest of the Japanese pantheon, esp. Amaterasu
- probably the Korean deities too
- the Tibetan deities whose Hells are NO FUN AT ALL
- probably a nice chunk of the Indian pantheon

and blasphemed against the nation of Canada on a few occasions, I'm reasonably sure there's going to be a good kerfuffle after I die, and then if I'm very lucky I'll just get sent to a nice shiny clean excruciatingly polite maple flavoured Hell. Patrolled by Quebecois.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Huh.

Me, I've only really really pissed off the JudeoChristian/Islam I AM THAT IS sort of god, so it's off to Malebolge for me. The Greek pantheon hasn't got anything much to blame me for, which is good. I'm fairly sure the Eastern lot doesn't like me very much, but I haven't fed Ganesh peanuts or wondered how Kali's breasts stay up on their own or anything.

Yet.

You really have worked this out nicely, haven't you? Made any deals with the Three?

[camwyn]

*thinks for a minute*

I may possibly have cheesed off the Greek pantheon a bit at some point, now that I think about it, but nothing major. More on the order of happily appropriating one of their minor goddesses, Hera's attendant Eileithyia, and slapping her into a couple of White Wolf RPGs I was in as an obscure Christian saint of women in childbirth so that medieval Garou midwives had somebody they could invoke without pissing off the local priests. And since half the medieval Church did that kind of thing RL anyway, it probably doesn't count. I did use Minerva's name when I was in Latin class in seventh and eighth grades, but we all had to use Roman names for that, and I think the goddess probably understood there.

The Asiatic pantheons' irritation is the direct result of me and condotierre working up an insanely complicated RPG setting based off cadhla's alternate Earth RPG setting; the short version is that the earthquake that destroyed Atlantis in our world was deflected in this one, and while Atlantis remains above the waves, China is the Empire of the Ten Thousand Islands because that's all that's left. Japan is a demon-haunted string of islands with no humans living there- the Ainu and the few Jomon culture clans to survive the great quakes fled and now live on rafts and such. Korea is the Hermit Kingdom, isolated, insular, and filled with paranoid warrior mages who've been at war with each other off and on for the past several thousand years. Buddhism never existed because Siddharta's parents tried to push him in the direction of becoming a spiritual leader and he became a warrior-king instead. And Tibet, without the presence of Buddhism to calm them down, became a land full of the scariest savages imaginable outside fevered Victorian imaginations of what Africa must have been like. There are three coastal cities in Tibet (earthquake yay) collectively called the Civilized Towns, because that's the only places that are. Everywhere else is mountain people, many of whom have predilections towards ritual cannibalism.

See what I mean about pissing the pantheons off? And no, I don't make deals. I just go around making them mad so that they fight without me having to sign anything.

*adds the Valar to her list* Now that I think about it, the Thousand Word Silmarillion can't have gone over well with Mandos, either... at least there's no Hell in Arda, unless you want to count Morgoth's fortresses, and since he's not in Arda at the moment they probably aren't usable.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Impressive.
All I do is write complex and self-referential fanfiction starring random gods in less than godly activities, viz. my use of Hades/Aidoneus in the neverending Beauty & the Beast/Persephone ripoff tale. Most of the Norse gods aren't too thrilled with me either, but I haven't done anything egregious to them. However, I know perfectly well that the entire host of the Christian-style heaven is going to do horrible things to me, because I had Samael visit Heaven with plagues of a) slugs and b) Canada geese. You have any idea how hard it is to get Canada goose droppings off sapphire battlements?

Plus I wrote Gabriel as not so much the Snob as a stultifyingly proper businessman, the sort who drives his Mercedes sedan five miles an hour under the speed limit and has impeccably manicured fingernails. And then I gave him, and the rest of Heaven, a week-long migraine.

Mmmyep. I'll send you a postcard.

[mephron]

I'll look you up when I get there. We can have cocktails.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I know the owner, so we can prolly swing some free drinks, as well.

[mephron]

So far, as far as I can tell, you haven't torqued the Norse pantheon, and I'm pretty sure the Celts would just be tickled with you telling stories about them. The whole bardic tradition, y'see...

[camwyn]

Well, I have an RPG / fiction character (I'm filing the game serial numbers off him so I can submit stuff about him for publication) of very old Germanic/Finnish family. His mother had sufficient trouble with carrying children to term that she attempted to appeal to whatever old Finnish powers might be listening, but she tapped into a different Scandinavian tradition instead and wound up making the 'tell you what, I'll help you give birth to this baby, but I get to claim him when he's grown up deal' with a certain mischief-maker who wanted a Fenris child.

This in itself would not be a problem, but the family raises horses for a living, and the character's finest steed is an Akhal-Teke/Traekhner cross named Svadlifari.

[mephron]

Maybe you'd just be better off going back to characters with war tyrannosaurs or something. It's not like the Lizard Kings are going to come back and cause you trouble....

[camwyn]

*points in the general direction of her created people, the Àfthêraí*

About four hundred thousand years ago these guys' ancestors, along with the ancestors of several other peoples and a whole lotta Terran species, stumbled through dimensional rifts onto another planet that was in the grips of a pretty ugly ice age. Their descendants have evolved to the point of agriculture, beer, and domestication of animals. Their primary riding animal is Megaloceros giganteus, either female or castrated, and they have a creator Goddess who has the approximate attention span of a ferret. Which is okay, because they're not particularly religious people, but they do believe that the tornadoes that occasionally appear on the Great Good Plain are Àiyáh rendering everything in Her path back to the original formless chaos from which it came- so that she can see how it reassembles itself, or possibly play with the undifferentiated stuff and see what she can make of it.

The Àfthêraí do not appear to have a concept of Hell, and most of their afterlife beliefs seem to center on the likelihood of the dead just going 'somewhere else', or possibly reincarnating if they were too stubborn to pass on or if they had unfinished business. I could probably deal with this, but I have to get the other pantheons arguing with each other long enough to flee to my fictional peoples' afterlife when no one's looking.

[mephron]

You have just filled my head with the image of Satan waving an iron-clad fist as you pass through into there and get reincarnated and howling "I'll get you next life-time!!"

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*impish grin*

What about your "House of Vimes" saga for Middle Earth. I'm sure Manwe might have gotten a bit peeved at some versions you've come up with. ;)

[camwyn]

Hadn't really thought about that, since after the initial *SEETHE* Vimes doesn't really bother giving much shrift to the Valar and doesn't impress it on his descendants. "They brought us here and then they couldn't send us back. They gave us land and told us not to come looking for them. Anyone who thinks they should go looking to bother the Valar is going to get the back of my hand, see if you don't." about sums up the attitude of the Vimes lineage towards the Powers What Is.

[midnightlurker.livejournal.com]

The only reason there's no Hell in Arda is that human spirits go somewhere other than Arda.

No telling what Iluvatar might have set up somewhere out beyond Ekkaia and Ilmen. :)

[camwyn]

Right, then. Plan B: get eaten by a Balrog. It will probably be less painful.

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

Hey, with Monkey on your side you can get out of quite a lot. It's like having Coyote or Loki batting for you -- wonderful but scary.

[camwyn]

That's kind of what I'm banking on. I've upset the rest of their pantheon, but I'm sucking up to Monkey like there's no tomorrow.

[jjloa.livejournal.com]

I would fall over with the giggles if not for the fact that being at work it would kind of ruin any 'professional' reputation I may. .. oh wait. who am I kidding?

*falls over laughing*

Perfect. hee. If that's a hell inspiring thing, then guess I'm there too.

At least everything will be perfectly in place there ;)

*pulls out her non-Due South but still Paul Gross icon for the occasion ... I really should make a Due South one too ... sigh*

[bohemian--storm.livejournal.com]

*snorts* That'd be too funny.

*blink*

[argonautilus.livejournal.com]

Why do I now have visions of the Pope doing Jack Benny immitations. You infect my brain.

Phht.

:>

Re: *blink*

[camwyn]

I infect everyone's brain, hon. Although, you know, it might be interesting to see the big guy playing violin in front of a fully packed St. Peter's Square.

Re: *blink*

[kaikias.livejournal.com]

I was thinking Jack Benny myself, what with not knowing Due South from a hole in the ground and all. :)

[condotierre.livejournal.com]

Oh why am I not surprised. It's Highlander Hell for me and the nice civilized part for you but given what we did to the Fu Dogs, can you -wonder- this is turning into a trait?

Incidentally I think the Spectral Voices have emerged out of where I shoved them violently into a trunk and nailed it down.

[camwyn]

Oh dear. Should I ask?

(And you may be interested to know that Maxis has just released new decorative objects for people to download and use in Sims 2- Fu dogs for their Sims' yards.)

[condotierre.livejournal.com]

...Maxis needs to DAI DAI DAI, the Virtual Fu Dogs are now calling me from the Sim yards and crooning, VIIIIIIIIIIRTUAL TAKE OOOOOOOOOOOVER. Ahem. See what I mean?

Imagine that the head hunting tribes of certain bits of Asia crossed their culture with Highlander. That is all I should need to say. You most CERTAINLY will take it to where I've started to. Heil rottenbrain.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what the meaning is of your post, but then again I have a huge migraine today.

[camwyn]

The TV show "Due South" featured a Chicago cop named Ray Vecchio teamed with a Canadian Mountie named Benton Fraser. Vecchio insisted on referring to his partner as "Benny". It, uh... kind of takes off from there.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

You are a bad, bad woman.

[taennyn]

But daaaaaamn is she shiny.