... SO. GOING. TO. HELL.

[camwyn]

Over at milliways_bar, where I play Detritus (sgt_rock) and Carcer (bottle_covey), a recent plot twist resulted in Oompa Loompas turning up to do some cleanup duty. Their usual didactic song included the line 'Please don't piss Nyarlathotep off.'

I started discussing this with chn_breathmint on AIM...

chn_breathmint: O_O oh my. Oompa loompas. *laughs*
camwyn: Milliways is basically the Crisis on Infinite Crossovers, so it's not really a surprise.
chn_breathmint: well. Oompa loompas and Lovecraft... make eerie sense
camwyn: Tiny, orange Deep One hybrids.
chn_breathmint: Yes!
chn_breathmint: ... The Shadow Over Innsmouth, right? but in a chocolate factory.
camwyn: It'd certainly explain the horrible fates the other children met.
camwyn: I'm reasonably sure the golden tickets were actually pages torn from something.
chn_breathmint: someone has got to write this.
camwyn: I don't know nearly enough Lovecraft. And anyway, the Wonderful Wizard of Mars has priority.
chn_breathmint: My fiance may do it now.
camwyn: More power to him, then!

At this point I raised the topic with some friends on a MUSH and got the following:

highdancer says, "Vernicious Knids baybe."
camwyn says, "The *real* Colour Out of Space."
jazzhandshimmer says, "And Willy Wonka?"
jazzhandshimmer says, "Just another name for... the Black Man? The Pharoah, Nyarlathotep?"
highdancer says, "The King in Chocolate."
camwyn says, "Well, let's just say that the non-Charlie kids met their varying horrible fates for a *reason*, and not just because they were annoying and a blight on the *SPRRRRRGH* Thank you for setting off a spit take even though I wans't drinking, highdancer."
highdancer says, "I live to please."

Relayed this to chn_breathmint back on AIM; response?
chn_breathmint: ... oh god. You win.
chn_breathmint: YOU WIN.

penguinzero says, "That is not fed which can eternal lie; and with strange sugars even sweets can die."
jazzhandshimmer says, "Ia! Ia! Gobstopper ftagn!"
highdancer says, "And Charlie, having presided over the ritualistic destruction of his opposition, takes his place at the right hand of Madness."

... SO. GOING. TO. HELL.

Comments

[colubra.livejournal.com]

I love highdancer now, and I have never encountered him or her (to my knowledge) before reading the above.

[crispengray.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant.

Charlie and Wonka meeting the Deep Spawn. "Charlie and the Deep Sea Submarine." I like this idea.

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

The chocolate . . . The chocolate in the walls!

Since I just thought of this, I had to add...

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

"And so with your brain, they will screw/ Like only Oompa-Loompa-Loompas can do!"

[colubra.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I have a title for you:

The Curious Case of Charles Dexter Bucket

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

*would spew Coke all over his screen had he any left*

I grew up in Rhode Island, so I know exactly where to find the Ward house. And the Shunned House.

At least they knocked the Starry Wisdom church down a few years back and turned it into a park...

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

That is not fed which can eternal lie; and with strange sugars even sweets can die.

*passes out*

*comes to*

For the record, I'm the author of http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;297830 :-)

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

*looks embarrassed*

*Googles*

Are we talking about http://www.litrix.com/kyellow/kyell001.htm?

[colubra.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

Huh.

Never read that before.

*reads "The Repairer of Reputations"*

That was weird.

[incandescens]

Ia! Shub-Niggurath! The Chocolate Bunny of the Woods with a thousand young!

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

I loved the mangled Lovecraft quote!

[derien.livejournal.com]

Yum, brain-twisty stuff. :) I've never read Lovecraft, because every serious Lovecraft type story I've ever read has really not been my cup of tea, but every spoofs and take-offs I've read has been hysterical. Apparently it's a ripe ground for mocking.

[derien.livejournal.com]

('every spoofs and take-offs' - yeah, that's what happens when you change the tense of your sentence and forget to re-read it before posting.:P)

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

Thankee sai, for making a sick youth laugh her butt off.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

. . . . . . . .

I want to go to Hell too. It is clearly very shiny.

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*ten minutes straight of helpless laughter*

And I thought we were being twisted in #sagesanctuary with Norman Osborne implying he had a drunken fling with Jameson in the 70's...in a disco, no less. ;)

[hlaron.livejournal.com]

Oh sweet Moses, you're a hero of some kind. I don't think I'll be able to read Lovecraft ever again without periodic inappropriate giggling.

[kaikias.livejournal.com]

*ded* E-numbers out of space?

I still like the Lovecraft Does Indian Food idea, though. Seriously. Curry out of space!

[almeda.livejournal.com]

The King in Turmeric Yellow, clearly.

[kaikias.livejournal.com]

Of course.

[jjloa.livejournal.com]

*LMAO*

I don't even want to know what it means that I always have everlasting gobstoppers in my desk to help me through the day ...

Actually I kinda do. But ... heh.

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

What you truly don't want to know is what the gobstoppers are made of... ;)

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

Permission to metaquotes? :-)

[camwyn]

But of course.

[elsajeni.livejournal.com]

You know... when I read this on metaquotes I was sure it had to be in some way Milliways-related, even though I didn't recognize you by username. After all, where else could such crack originate? And it WAS. *feels clever*

*is Luke Skywalker-mun*

[dan-ad-nauseam.livejournal.com]

Ewww. That's _not_ right

[camwyn]

Definitely not, but then again I do seem to specialise in taking things that Just Aren't Right and finding ways to make them work. (The Wonderful Wizard of Mars, for example, is a proposal I made a few weeks ago for a crossover between the Oz books of L. Frank Baum and the Barsoom novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs.) This one would be a nightmare to work up, but I think it could be done as a parody, if one really tried.