Aaah. Education.

[camwyn]

penguinzero and I were talking about people who get snitty over how 'separation of church and state' isn't in the Constitution, and I wondered if any of them could answer the college bowl questions I had on things like 'first adjectve in the Preamble to the Constitution' ('United' if you allow proper names, 'perfect' if you don't) and 'last adjective in the Declaration of Independence' ('sacred', as in 'we mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor'. In the process, the following erupted:

penguinzero says, "I was thinking 'becomes,' but I'm not sure. And I think the first adjective in the preamble is 'perfect.'"
camwyn says, "Not quite. "When in the course of human events it becomes necessary" is how the Decl. starts, and you're right on the other count, too, Scott."
camwyn says, "Now the good one. Last adjective in the Decl."
penguinzero says, "Whew. Hazy dredged-up memories serve me again!"
penguinzero says, "No clue on the last adjective, though."
camwyn says, ""....we mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.""
penguinzero nods. "Okay. Sounds more familiar now that you say it, but I still never would have gotten it."
camwyn can't remember most of the stuff in between in any kind of detail (beyond "OMG KING GEORGE MADE US GET INVOLVED IN THE SLAVE TRADE, HIRED MERCENARIES, AND STUCK SOLDIERS IN OUR HOUSES! HE SUXX0R!"), but for some reason a few of the opening/closing lines have stuck with me.
penguinzero says, "...and now you have me fascinated by the idea of famous historical documents rewritten in chatspeak/l33t."
unseenlibrarian says, "Well, you can probably copy/past the text into an English-L33t translator..."
camwyn could just about see Alexander Hamilton pinching the bridge of his nose. "Tom, please, for the love of all things holy, *spell out the damn words*." "But they're too long! The common people won't have time to read the whole thing if we don't-" "TOM. WRITE. IN. ENGLISH." "*sigh* Fine. Jerk."
penguinzero says, "Yeah, but that wouldn't take it far enough. Rephrasing the whole thing to sound more geekish, chatty, and illiterate would be crucial."
penguinzero says, "'Tom, what is this?' '...It's a numeral four.' 'Yes. But it's where an 'a' should be.' 'Yes, do you like it? It's a whimsical touch that I think the common people will find most amusing -- it may actually get some of them to read the whole thing.' 'Tom. Do I have to get the mallet again?'"
camwyn says, ""What frightens me, really, is that now you've got Dr. Franklin looking thoughtful and fiddling with his pen. We're all doomed if he twigs to what you're doing, you know.""
penguinzero says, "'And for the record, Tom, I think it would be more convincing to describe how his majesty is a tyrant rather than saying 'Georgie Suxx0rz.' I don't think that's even a word.'"
penguinzero says, "'And find something better to put down as the inalienable rights of man. 'B33r, big guns, and the pursuit of HAWT BABEZ' just sends entirely the wrong message.'"
camwyn says, ""Oh, that was Dr. Franklin's idea." "*sigh* figures.""
penguinzero grins.
camwyn says, ""Look, I don't see why spelling 'lieutenant' with a bleeding *f* in it is all right but a bit of fun with numerals suddenly renders the whole thing invalid!" "Tom, there's 'a bit of fun with numerals' and then there's 'PH34R T3H M4D 1NBR3D K1NG & HIS L33T H3SSIAN M3RC3N4RIES!!!11!!1'. What the hell are the ones doing amongst the exclamatory marks, anyway?""
penguinzero says, "'Do you like them? I was considering spelling out a few in the next forceful passage, like so -- '!!!!11!!!1one!1!'' '...Tom, I know hemp makes a fine cash crop, and is a vital source of fiber for ropes and canvas and so forth, but we've been over the perils of its recreatonal use before, haven't we?'"
camwyn says, ""Actually, I think he has a point." "Sam, don't get me started. The difference between the number of barrels of beer that you produce and the number that actually leave your stores...""
unseenlibrarian says, "Dude, 'PH34R T3H M4D 1NBR3D K1NG & HIS L33T H3SSIAN M3RC3N4RIES!!!11!!1' is the best name ever."
penguinzero says, "'Now, that's unfair. Why, I drink very little, myself. But I have been assured of the importance of quality testing by a very progressive thinker, and he does me the service of sampling my brew every night. It cuts down a little on stock, certainly, but it's well worth it!' '...Dr. Franklin, quit matching wits with unarmed men. Who seem to be in great surplus around here.'"
camwyn says, "We gotta post this to LJ, penguinzero, you know that, right?"

Comments

[deep-shadow.livejournal.com]

*wipes tear* Oh man, that's beautiful.

[aberrantangels]

I may have to metaquotes this, or else caughtsnippets it. I'm glad to see conversations with Scott are still as beautifully warped as they were at IOU.

[camwyn]

Go right ahead.

[derien.livejournal.com]

*ChortleZ!*

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Snickering like mad.

[pelogrande.livejournal.com]

I'm scared.

[almeda.livejournal.com]

Me too. Man, I miss hanging out on <Geeking>. Sigh.

[lasa.livejournal.com]

What a way to start a morning. Quite wonderful.

[maxineofarc.livejournal.com]

I think I hurt myself.

[aethereal-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. That was possibly too funny to be legal.

[kaikias.livejournal.com]

Y'all BAD MAN. Just so you know.

[camwyn]

I do me best. ANd so does penguinzero.

[condotierre.livejournal.com]

Ahh, education indeed. However, it could be worse.

For example? See my current entry. With the Chinese opera. ;)

[zou.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHAA.
I didn't read this through last night 'cause I was tired, but DAMN, that's FUNNY!

'PH34R T3H M4D 1NBR3D K1NG & HIS L33T H3SSIAN M3RC3N4RIES!!!11!!1'

[almeda.livejournal.com]

Note: I am descended from a l33t h3ss14n m3rc3nary, apparently. Who defected when it was clear who the winning side was going to be (which is why I'm American now).


PH34R M3333!!!!111!!!1!!one!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

That's pretty funny.

Also, Hamilton wasn't there. While he had a little bit of notoriety for some pamphlets he'd written, he was about 20 in 1776, and really wouldn't have been picked as a delegate. He was captain of an artillery company. The next year, he hit it big, becoming an aide to Washington. It was the Constitutional Convention that Hamilton attended. But Jefferson didn't (he was in Paris), John Adams didn't (he was in London), and Samuel Adams didn't (he was in Boston, the best one of the three).

[camwyn]

Oops. Should've remembered that, my bad. I was mentally conflating the Constitutional Convention and the whole thing with the Decl., and on about five hours' sleep the night before. I should've been more careful. My apologies.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

I'm torn on this. As a professional proofreader and editor and the scion of a family that is well on its way to ingraining proper syntax, spelling, and grammar into its very genetic makeup, this hurts me. However, there is a small voice in the back of my head that is saying, "w00t!!1! j00 r001!!!!1!!"

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

Permission to come back alive?