Server naming.

[camwyn]

We've taken possession of two new servers here at my office, one of which will replace our old file server. The other is going to be our Exchange server as we migrate away from web-based email. I mentioned to my fellow tech that at my old office I used to name machines after Canadian cities and provinces, or sometimes after American or Canadian founding fathers. He suggested we have a contest to come up with a naming theme for the two new servers, preferably one that could be extended to cover the other three servers eventually. I sent out an email to everyone asking for nominations, and we eventually narrowed it down to three sets- old school Star Trek (the two names suggested were Kirk and Spock), Austin Powers (Dr. Evil and Mini-Me), and Star Wars locations (Death Star and Tattooine).

Since we plan to go with the Star Trek names, the file server is going to be named Spock and the Exchange one gets to be Kirk, on the grounds that Spock provides information whereas Kirk talks with anyone and anything in sight (and no one suggested Uhura). Spock is also going to be our domain controller. The domain for which Spock is going to be controller will be Federation, as there are problems with the current internal domain name. If we extend the naming convention to the other servers we'll be using Bones and Scotty for sure; the fifth server may keep its old name for a while because of a programming project that can't be altered just yet.

All of this means:

One of the servers will not be able to give us false information. Ever.
It will, however, be vulnerable to having its CPU stolen during a brief blackout induced by a weird-looking blonde.
For the most part it will be steady as a rock and often quite annoying, but wholly functional. In fact, it will behave very reasonably for just about seven years. Then all hell will break loose unless it gets networked to another system immediately.
It will deposit a significant chunk of its own code on another system sufficient to resurrect its main functions if it looks like it's going to crash and burn. (Actually, since we use a real-time data vaulting service…)

The other server will have a mysterious ability to attract semi-attractive to gorgeous female technicians.
It will periodically spit out email messages in weird fits and starts, but all of it will get through.
Unless there are space aliens involved, it will never get a virus, even when it really deserves one.
It will repeatedly do things that really ought to result in its total destruction, but which will only take out some random terminal that was unfortunate to be hooked up to it at the time.

I have taken the step of ordering a T-shirt from ThinkGeek to change into when I'm working late. It says 'Dammit Jim, I'm a sysadmin, not a babysitter'. It seemed appropriate, considering.

Comments

[quintus.livejournal.com]

And that's why I think the world of you :-)

[camwyn]

*bows modestly* I do my best.

[little-birdy.livejournal.com]

*adds post to memories* *worships at your ziggurat*

[camwyn]

*snicker* Thank you!

[zou.livejournal.com]

Niiiiiiice!

[kyrielle]

*giggles!!* Niiiice. Especially the shirt - it does fit the situation!

[penguinzero.livejournal.com]

You'll doubtless be able to tell which terminal is the next to go when you notice it's got red wallpaper up. Or when the Kirk server sets it on some random task alone while it, the Spock server, and the sysadmins are doing something important.

[mephron]

This means that McCoy will complain about whatever it's asked to do and then do it.

Scotty will be able to repair the software on the network faster than you thought possible.

You are, I should note, mad as a hatter.

[camwyn]

The machine to be named Scotty is currently our primary print server and handler of complicated external financial data, so there's going to be a lot of hefty stuff other people don't understand dropped on its shoulders.

The machine to be named Bones will probably become our VPN / remote access server. No beaming! You come into our system the safe secure way that doesn't disassemble and reassemble your ass! pcAnywhere drops connection mid-transport far too often...

Mad? Feh, I didn't even suggest this naming convention. I thought it was perfectly mainstream when it came up, though.

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*picks herself up off the floor after three minutes straight of insane giggling*

I love you! Marry me!

Wait, I can't marry you. I'm straight.

Damn!

[camwyn]

*boggles*

Man, I knew I attracted marriage proposals from women, but all the others so far have been lesbians or bi. Apparently my geek fu comes with something else, not that I know what to call it...

[drharper.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Maybe your Aura of Geeky Coolness is turning me at least cyclically bi (To those who don't get the joke, don't ask. Your sanity will thank you.).

[ymfaery]

Heeeeeee~! <3 <3 <3

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

I read portions of this out loud to G. Thanks for the giggles.

[midnightlurker.livejournal.com]

It will, however, be vulnerable to having its CPU stolen during a brief blackout induced by a weird-looking blonde.

Brain and brain. What is brain?

Brilliant!

[fingers.livejournal.com]

Oh brilliant! Brought a smile to my day :-)

One of the old vax servers at my university was called Uhura. Not many of my mainly 18 yr old classmates got the joke.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

*snork*

If you have to slave a machine (and since I'm not up on sysadminliness, this may not apply at all) to Spock, you might call it "Chapel," I suppose. One slaved to Kirk would have to be "Rand." The machine that randomly reduces text to weird strings of Russian alphabet soup would have to be "Chekov"...

Ah, it goes on and on and on.

Thanks for the giggles. (cruised in from metaquotes)

[camwyn]

Metaquotes? I got metaquoted? ... okay, that explains the replies from people whose user names I don't recognise. Cool beans.