To my beloved co-workers, whom I am leaving in two weeks' time:

[camwyn]

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR EMAIL:

Jennifer the Wild Girl is not interested in you.
You do not need to check this out, kid!!!
You do not have 1 VoiceMessage!
No one legitimate is sending you a nude ecard.
Don't worry, be happy! is not on the radio any more and therefore is unworthy of your attention.
No one is sending you a screen saver.
A blank subject line and an attachment on the same email together constitute very bad mojo.
No one is trying to notify you about e-mail account utilization.
You do not need a nice game.
You do not need a very funny picture.
If they have to mis-spell a product or ingredient, then it isn't the real thing. This is just as true for Viagra and Cialis as it is for cheez, froot, creme, and kola.
You shouldn't be buying your drugs online anyway.
Osama bin Laden has not committed suicide.
You have not won a lottery. Any lottery.
No one in Africa needs your help to get money out of their country.
No one in Africa is looking to help you get back money that you lost helping someone try to get their money out of their country.
Paypal does not need you to click on a link or fill in your details.
Neither does eBay.
Neither does your bank. No, seriously, they don't. Phone them if you don't believe me.
No one has been kidnapped at the mall by guys using one whiff of a perfume bottle.
Clients are not trying to get information about you from web sites with names like Word of Mouth. Or from anywhere, really. If they were, they'd have emailed me.

Comments

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Best debunking email ever. You should send it to Snopes.com. They'd like that.

My sister in law used to send out those emails, and every time I'd send her the snopes link. She got mad at me. "I just like sending them." she told me. She stopped sending them to me, though.

Hellblazer Hogwarts? Am dying here. I mean I know you're busy with your real life and everything, but gee...I really want to get to the bit where he meets Harry. Cause Harry's gonna look like Tim, right? Right?

[lots42.livejournal.com]

OMG 'like sending them'???

That's worse then the reasoning I got which was essentially 'they MIGHT BE TRUE!!!111'.

[camwyn]

Relax, relax, I'm working on the H:H. My big obstacle at the moment is figuring out how to interrupt the Sorting Hat with John's murmurs to other teachers so that I don't have to write an entire damn song.

[maxineofarc.livejournal.com]

Can you cc my mom on that? Every so often she'll come to me asking for verification of some damn spam thing, which I then look up on Snopes for her (apparently she's not allowed to browse the Web at work) so she can tell the people who send them to her to shut it.

[camwyn]

Feel free to punt it along, if you think it'll help!

[derien.livejournal.com]

You rawk. :)

[ymfaery]

...

You know, this is just confirming my belief that people should not be allowed near a computer if they demonstrate that little common sense.

Did you do one about the kidnapped/hollowed out baby already?

[camwyn]

Hasn't come up yet. Thankfully.

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

Oy vey. Seriously.

On a completely unrelated note...

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tapedeck/228769.html