[DaveBarry]I am not making this up.[/DaveBarry]

[camwyn]

Pulled some chocolates out of a friend's bowl the other day before we went off to see Catwoman. (Summarized opinion: this could have been so much better of a story, the CGI hurt to watch, and I personally consider full-body skin-tight catsuits infinitely more sexy than that bikini-pants combo she was wearing.) Did not eat them all, but stashed the extra in my purse.

Pulled one of the chocolates out today- a flat chocolate mint the size of Eight O'Clock Mints, but a little thicker.

The label says it's from Varda Chocolatier.

Flip label over. "Made only with Belgian Chocolate". Then ingredients list. Then: VARDA CHOCOLATIER, 800-448-2732.

Apparently the Queen of Stars has taken up a new line of business and it involves making less-than-outstanding chocolates. Ma'am, no offense, but you're gonna need to get Yavanna's help if you want me to go out and buy any of this stuff myself.

Comments

Hi.

[impactbomb.livejournal.com]

You don't know me, I don't know you, but I'm a fan of both Hellblazer and Harry Potter. I found your story through the Drunkard's Walk Forums, and your kindly linking all the current parts of H:H for us to read. It's one of the coolest stories I've ever read, excellently written even beyond the sublimely funny premise, and I do hope there will be more soon.

I hope you don't mind if I friend you, as you're just too neat not to.

Re: Hi.

[camwyn]

Not at all! Go right ahead. In the meantime I can only ask patience; I've got to dig out my copy of Sorceror's Stone when I get home so I can look up student arrival / sorting / feast procedure. Should get to work on next chapter after that, though.

Glad you're enjoying the ride in the meantime!

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Heh. Priceless. Do you know the name of the chocolate, or did it just say Varda Chocolatier?

No, I'd never ask that because I might want to buy that stuff myself. Never. What d'you think of me?

And I love your evil icon.

[camwyn]

You might find this a bit more useful, actually:

http://www.vardachocolatier.com/retail/tek9.asp

They're located in New Jersey. The phone number translates to- again, not making this up- 1-800-HI-VARDA.

Many thanks on the icon. The creator was the0neru, in response to the One Thousand Word Silmarillion.

[ithilelentari.livejournal.com]

Well, *chocolate*, yes, but better quality. Bad chocolate? How *rude*. It's almost as bad as the "Children of Varda" 'Sues.

*kills*

[camwyn]

It wasn't as bad as mass-market chocolate, but when I go looking for high caliber choco I expect something like Ghirardelli at the bottom end of the scale. In all fairness, I had been carrying the thing around in my purse since Friday evening, and it may have absorbed some Suck Rays from being in my purse while I watched Catwoman.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

The creator was the0neru...

Oh man, you know you're a nutcase when you read that sentence and actually go "Well, of course the creator was Eru" before understanding the sentence at all *facepalm*

Yay. I'm going to feed that chocolatier to Maksâtan, who's responsible for Weird Intentional Or Unintentional Tolkien References at the German Tolkien Society, if you don't mind - you found it, after all...

[camwyn]

Go right ahead. If anyone buys any, let me know how the other varieties of their chocolate are.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

The Catwoman of the comics would take one look at Halle Berry then kick her ass on general principles.

[camwyn]

And whistle up Eartha Kitt and Michelle Pfeiffer to join in on the fun.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Will do!

[quintus.livejournal.com]

Must... not... stoop to... smut... must... resist.

[camwyn]

Get it out of your system, hon. I originally had the idea because someone mentioned the idea of Catwoman-vs-Jason Bourne in metaquotes (they came out on the same day over here), and then went on to suggest that Jason would call for assistance from Loki, Tom Ripley, Will Hunting, Private Ryan, etc.