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camwyn'lo, folks. Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this one. RL's been distracting (anyone who feels like lending a hand on a ten-page term paper about Bayesian belief networks and their impact on data mining, let me know) and online hasn't been a whole lot less so. With that flimsy excuse, let's dive right back in.
I promised you philosophers last time, and believe me, you'll get them. The thing is that the major contributors to Chinese thought, while technically arising under the Zhou dynasty, were very much the products of their time and situation. And part of that - a big part - was the fact that in 771 or so BCE, the Zhou kings became UTTER AND TOTAL WEENIES WHO DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED A DYNASTY ANY MORE.
Sorry. I'm a little bit cranky here. See, 771 was the year the Zhou kings got their butts handed to them on a jade platter. I don't CARE if the royal line is still intact - if nobody's LISTENING to you, then you don't qualify as a dynasty, dammit! That'd be like saying Roumania still has a king! (Prince Michael, if I recall, is still alive and well. He's just not, you know, in charge. Or even in Roumania.) These things never happen in isolation, though, and to some degree the Zhou brought it on themselves. Oh, sure, some of what happened to them was the result of external threats, but. . .
Remember how the Zhou put together that whole feudal scheme I told you about? This was a big empire they were ruling. There was no way one central authority alone was gonna be able to keep the reins on any geographical area that large, not with the state of roads and communications of the time. The Zhou kings kept things in line by appointing the next best thing to extensions of themselves to positions of rule, namely, men linked to the kings by blood or marriage. Kinship bonds were extremely powerful things in most of the ancient world, but especially powerful in the Middle Kingdom - the Chinese family is considered one of the oldest enduring institutions in the world, at least if you believe good old Larry Gonick. I'm not sure if a specific style of family unit can be thought of as an institution, but the loyalty and affiliation values that grew out of this social structure were probably a big part of how the Zhou kings kept hold of so much territory. Uncles, nephews, sons by subsidiary wives, whatever - here's the map, here's the land, there's a great noodle place in sector 423, wanna be a marquis? You get the idea.
Trouble is, well, loyalty only goes so far. You're far away from the guy who gave you the throne. You never really liked your cousin or uncle or brother-in-law to begin with, although you're grateful he gave you such a nice chunk of real estate. You've got a neighbour who's a pain in the ass because he thinks HE ought to own your province as well as his own. You've got barbarians with the worst breath and ugliest ponies in the world periodically riding into your land and beating up on your peasants - and while peasant-beating is not really a bad thing in THEORY, but seriously, YOU should be the only one to grind the peons beneath your feet. And the guy back at the capital city in Chang'an, you know, the firking bloody Son of bloody Heaven, that sonofabitch isn't answering ANY of your messengers asking for help because he's too busy with that babealicious new concubine of his. . . Screw family ties. How long are YOU gonna stay loyal? Round up everyone in the area who's willing to call you lord, beat the snot out of your neighbour, and ignore the capital right back.
Given this state of affairs, and the fact that the Middle Kingdom shared the continent with some extremely nasty neighbours, it's no real surprise that the neighbours decided to come in and help themselves to as much booty as they could carry. Angry rebellious lords took one look at the barbarians at the gate, threw them the keys to the drinks cabinet, and WHAMMO. Chang'an is in ruins. The king is dead. The crown prince and his court are running for their lives and plopping down their sorry butts in Loyang, which isn't particularly central but DID have the advantage of not being, you know, crawling with barbarians and unhappy nobles and things like that. No more Zhou Dynasty, not really, anyway.
The problem is that the stupid royal family refused to die, and refused to leave the country, and refused to acknowledge the fact that, frankly, they had been BEATEN. Just because nobody listened to their court as the voice of civil authority any more, that was no reason to give up calling themselves the ruling dynasty, right? Right. The whole cult of the gods of Heaven relied rather heavily upon the royal court as intercessors for the empire, so since it was a toss-up between intellectual honesty over the current political situation and keeping the gods happy, the gods were kept happy. From 771 BCE on down to 256 BCE, the Zhou kings stayed out of the way and continued their ceremonial duties, and the rest of the Middle Kingdom went on without 'em. There were dukes and stuff to worry about, and barbarians periodically pounding on the walls and demanding to know how much for de weeemen, and frankly, the old system wasn't all it had been cracked up to be to begin with. The whole thing began breaking down into a loose confederation of states, if you could even call it organized enough to be thought of as a confederation. I mean, most confederations' members don't spend QUITE that much time beating the snot out of each other. By 403 BCE, there were only seven real states left, as they'd devoured all the others. Their various leaders proclaimed themselves King, effectively saying 'screw you' once and for all to what was left of Zhou authority, and things got seriously down and dirty after that. Thus it would continue until 221 BCE, when one of them finally got up and put the mother of all smackdowns on the rest of the nation. . .
But that can wait for another lesson. That's the historical background you need to know of the latter half of the Zhou dynasty. Next lesson we'll begin the philosophers in earnest, and possibly go into the Classical Kickers of Ass. And then - finally - we'll go into the time period to which we owe the use of the name 'China'. It simply didn't apply until the Warring States period ended.
I seem to be missing a Barry Hughart reference for this installment. Damn shame, really. Next time, I promise.
Today's pulp survival tip is #69. Do not let anyone know you play a musical instrument unless you want to wind up being forced to do it to prevent the Evil Villain from killing somebody or the Supernatural Menace from running amok.
I promised you philosophers last time, and believe me, you'll get them. The thing is that the major contributors to Chinese thought, while technically arising under the Zhou dynasty, were very much the products of their time and situation. And part of that - a big part - was the fact that in 771 or so BCE, the Zhou kings became UTTER AND TOTAL WEENIES WHO DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED A DYNASTY ANY MORE.
Sorry. I'm a little bit cranky here. See, 771 was the year the Zhou kings got their butts handed to them on a jade platter. I don't CARE if the royal line is still intact - if nobody's LISTENING to you, then you don't qualify as a dynasty, dammit! That'd be like saying Roumania still has a king! (Prince Michael, if I recall, is still alive and well. He's just not, you know, in charge. Or even in Roumania.) These things never happen in isolation, though, and to some degree the Zhou brought it on themselves. Oh, sure, some of what happened to them was the result of external threats, but. . .
Remember how the Zhou put together that whole feudal scheme I told you about? This was a big empire they were ruling. There was no way one central authority alone was gonna be able to keep the reins on any geographical area that large, not with the state of roads and communications of the time. The Zhou kings kept things in line by appointing the next best thing to extensions of themselves to positions of rule, namely, men linked to the kings by blood or marriage. Kinship bonds were extremely powerful things in most of the ancient world, but especially powerful in the Middle Kingdom - the Chinese family is considered one of the oldest enduring institutions in the world, at least if you believe good old Larry Gonick. I'm not sure if a specific style of family unit can be thought of as an institution, but the loyalty and affiliation values that grew out of this social structure were probably a big part of how the Zhou kings kept hold of so much territory. Uncles, nephews, sons by subsidiary wives, whatever - here's the map, here's the land, there's a great noodle place in sector 423, wanna be a marquis? You get the idea.
Trouble is, well, loyalty only goes so far. You're far away from the guy who gave you the throne. You never really liked your cousin or uncle or brother-in-law to begin with, although you're grateful he gave you such a nice chunk of real estate. You've got a neighbour who's a pain in the ass because he thinks HE ought to own your province as well as his own. You've got barbarians with the worst breath and ugliest ponies in the world periodically riding into your land and beating up on your peasants - and while peasant-beating is not really a bad thing in THEORY, but seriously, YOU should be the only one to grind the peons beneath your feet. And the guy back at the capital city in Chang'an, you know, the firking bloody Son of bloody Heaven, that sonofabitch isn't answering ANY of your messengers asking for help because he's too busy with that babealicious new concubine of his. . . Screw family ties. How long are YOU gonna stay loyal? Round up everyone in the area who's willing to call you lord, beat the snot out of your neighbour, and ignore the capital right back.
Given this state of affairs, and the fact that the Middle Kingdom shared the continent with some extremely nasty neighbours, it's no real surprise that the neighbours decided to come in and help themselves to as much booty as they could carry. Angry rebellious lords took one look at the barbarians at the gate, threw them the keys to the drinks cabinet, and WHAMMO. Chang'an is in ruins. The king is dead. The crown prince and his court are running for their lives and plopping down their sorry butts in Loyang, which isn't particularly central but DID have the advantage of not being, you know, crawling with barbarians and unhappy nobles and things like that. No more Zhou Dynasty, not really, anyway.
The problem is that the stupid royal family refused to die, and refused to leave the country, and refused to acknowledge the fact that, frankly, they had been BEATEN. Just because nobody listened to their court as the voice of civil authority any more, that was no reason to give up calling themselves the ruling dynasty, right? Right. The whole cult of the gods of Heaven relied rather heavily upon the royal court as intercessors for the empire, so since it was a toss-up between intellectual honesty over the current political situation and keeping the gods happy, the gods were kept happy. From 771 BCE on down to 256 BCE, the Zhou kings stayed out of the way and continued their ceremonial duties, and the rest of the Middle Kingdom went on without 'em. There were dukes and stuff to worry about, and barbarians periodically pounding on the walls and demanding to know how much for de weeemen, and frankly, the old system wasn't all it had been cracked up to be to begin with. The whole thing began breaking down into a loose confederation of states, if you could even call it organized enough to be thought of as a confederation. I mean, most confederations' members don't spend QUITE that much time beating the snot out of each other. By 403 BCE, there were only seven real states left, as they'd devoured all the others. Their various leaders proclaimed themselves King, effectively saying 'screw you' once and for all to what was left of Zhou authority, and things got seriously down and dirty after that. Thus it would continue until 221 BCE, when one of them finally got up and put the mother of all smackdowns on the rest of the nation. . .
But that can wait for another lesson. That's the historical background you need to know of the latter half of the Zhou dynasty. Next lesson we'll begin the philosophers in earnest, and possibly go into the Classical Kickers of Ass. And then - finally - we'll go into the time period to which we owe the use of the name 'China'. It simply didn't apply until the Warring States period ended.
I seem to be missing a Barry Hughart reference for this installment. Damn shame, really. Next time, I promise.
Today's pulp survival tip is #69. Do not let anyone know you play a musical instrument unless you want to wind up being forced to do it to prevent the Evil Villain from killing somebody or the Supernatural Menace from running amok.
