Hellblazer: Hogwarts, Part VIIa
Feb. 21st, 2004 02:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynI did say I was working on this.
Tonks v. pleased w/wand purchase. Apparently she thought I might be something called a 'squib'. Bit annoying having my credentials questioned at every bloody turn but the wand thing put paid to that. Squibs apparently same as Muggles only they're supposed to be wizards. V. embarrassing to wizard families, squibs.
Purebloods, Muggles, squibs, half-bloods, giant crossbreeds. . . am I mad, or is this 'Ministry of Magic' thing the sodding Kennel Club in disguise?
Any road, had to buy my books next. Tonks took me to bookshop- Flourish & Blotts- & begged off on grounds she had to make Dumbledore-related stop in Surrey. Said she'd be back in a few hours & that I should tell shopkeeper what I was looking for. Did not much care for idea of being left in unfamiliar magical bookstore, figured damn things might bite or something, but did not have much choice.
No biting, fortunately. Mr. Flourish quite clear on that. Said 'not this year, anyway' but did not seem inclined to explain. Came over all sympathetic when I said I was teaching Defense Against Dark Arts, led me straight to section on breaking curses. V. interesting stuff but a bit past what I'd teach kids, really. Said so. Flourish laughed, said curse books for me but if I wanted to wait on that then he had what I needed upstairs. Showed me to introductory texts, then had to leave as other customer came in.
Spent next 2-3 hrs. picking through books by myself. Not my first choice for how to spend an afternoon, but not a bad time, either. Got a decent intro to ugly side of local magic, which is always good. Found several books worth buying once I've got proper coin in my pocket (as The Shadowed Mind: The Imperius Curse And Its Associated Hexes, Spells, and Counter-Charms by Dionigi Maladorno not really lending-library stuff). Would have liked to copy down a few passages from some of the other books but no idea if Flourish has eye-in-the-sky spells on his ceiling. Had to commit good bits to memory. Will write out and check against real thing later.
Too many books to choose from in the end, so I asked about prior professors' choices. No need to duplicate what the kids have, after all. Defensive Magical Theory sounded all right, but turned up more like How To Roll Over And Die. Half expected to find chapter by Neville Chamberlain. Series of books by one G. Lockhart looked interesting, but mostly about monster hunting. Will have to come back for that. Not a lot to say about the others really. Only one worth buying was The Dark Forces: A Guide to Advanced Self-Protection. Was going to wait for Tonks to come back and ask her advice when fat red volume caught my eye. Unpleasant Things It Is Sometimes Good To Know wins my vote for Most Understated Title of the Year, I'll give it that. Nothing I'd teach kids straight off. Chapters w/titles like 'Unforgivable Curses And Their Counters' a bit above most sprogs, I should think. Me, I'd've traded an eyeball to know some of this stuff. Fortunately all Flourish wanted was a couple of Galleons. Settled up with him, made a few inquiries re: future purchases, & went outside to wait for Tonks & read my new books.
Tonks v. pleased w/wand purchase. Apparently she thought I might be something called a 'squib'. Bit annoying having my credentials questioned at every bloody turn but the wand thing put paid to that. Squibs apparently same as Muggles only they're supposed to be wizards. V. embarrassing to wizard families, squibs.
Purebloods, Muggles, squibs, half-bloods, giant crossbreeds. . . am I mad, or is this 'Ministry of Magic' thing the sodding Kennel Club in disguise?
Any road, had to buy my books next. Tonks took me to bookshop- Flourish & Blotts- & begged off on grounds she had to make Dumbledore-related stop in Surrey. Said she'd be back in a few hours & that I should tell shopkeeper what I was looking for. Did not much care for idea of being left in unfamiliar magical bookstore, figured damn things might bite or something, but did not have much choice.
No biting, fortunately. Mr. Flourish quite clear on that. Said 'not this year, anyway' but did not seem inclined to explain. Came over all sympathetic when I said I was teaching Defense Against Dark Arts, led me straight to section on breaking curses. V. interesting stuff but a bit past what I'd teach kids, really. Said so. Flourish laughed, said curse books for me but if I wanted to wait on that then he had what I needed upstairs. Showed me to introductory texts, then had to leave as other customer came in.
Spent next 2-3 hrs. picking through books by myself. Not my first choice for how to spend an afternoon, but not a bad time, either. Got a decent intro to ugly side of local magic, which is always good. Found several books worth buying once I've got proper coin in my pocket (as The Shadowed Mind: The Imperius Curse And Its Associated Hexes, Spells, and Counter-Charms by Dionigi Maladorno not really lending-library stuff). Would have liked to copy down a few passages from some of the other books but no idea if Flourish has eye-in-the-sky spells on his ceiling. Had to commit good bits to memory. Will write out and check against real thing later.
Too many books to choose from in the end, so I asked about prior professors' choices. No need to duplicate what the kids have, after all. Defensive Magical Theory sounded all right, but turned up more like How To Roll Over And Die. Half expected to find chapter by Neville Chamberlain. Series of books by one G. Lockhart looked interesting, but mostly about monster hunting. Will have to come back for that. Not a lot to say about the others really. Only one worth buying was The Dark Forces: A Guide to Advanced Self-Protection. Was going to wait for Tonks to come back and ask her advice when fat red volume caught my eye. Unpleasant Things It Is Sometimes Good To Know wins my vote for Most Understated Title of the Year, I'll give it that. Nothing I'd teach kids straight off. Chapters w/titles like 'Unforgivable Curses And Their Counters' a bit above most sprogs, I should think. Me, I'd've traded an eyeball to know some of this stuff. Fortunately all Flourish wanted was a couple of Galleons. Settled up with him, made a few inquiries re: future purchases, & went outside to wait for Tonks & read my new books.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-20 11:36 pm (UTC)*snerk*
Classic.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 07:40 am (UTC)It's worth noting that the book has a companion volume entitled Things It Is Not Good To Know At All...
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Date: 2004-02-21 07:59 pm (UTC)The proper title is Highly Unpleasant Things It Is Sometimes Necessary To Know.
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Date: 2004-02-21 09:01 pm (UTC)In that case my title is not stolen, then? *hopeful look*
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Date: 2004-02-23 01:56 pm (UTC)It's a self-knowingly ironic nod in the original author's direction, then, yes? ;)
And thanks for the book details - I always love recommendations...
no subject
Date: 2004-02-20 11:45 pm (UTC)It's not my fandom, but *love!*.
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Date: 2004-02-21 07:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-20 11:51 pm (UTC)I think John will really enjoy the Hogwarts library too. He's into Grimoires and here's a whole world of magic books he hasn't yet gotten his hands on, wow!
Squib? Pfah, no way
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Date: 2004-02-21 07:50 am (UTC)No, of course not. But how many times does the Person Out Of Their Depth (whether it's a foreigner who turns up at Hogwarts or a girl who gets dropped into Middle-Earth) get taken at their word? Things have a remarkable tendency to work out right on the first try for Fanfiction Intruder Characters. John's magic is accomplished through different means from the magic of the Potterverse, despite being present 'under the skin' as it were. Not being able to produce the expected sort of magic on command, but exhibiting traits one normally associates with a wizard (the ridiculous toughness, being permitted on Hogwarts grounds, etc.) doesn't look good. Combine that with not knowing wizard culture and dressing like a Muggle- and smoking something other than a pipe, which is so rare in the Potterverse that the only mention I've found of it is Dudley being horrible in book 5- and, well... 'squib' is an entirely reasonable assumption to make.
Of course, John now has a wand, two book, and several spells that he managed to commit to memory. He's going to earn his way into that library.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 02:46 am (UTC)I SO need to steal this line. It's perfect.
Me, I'd've traded an eyeball to know some of this stuff.
Okay, so we know he's going to meet Mad-Eye Moody after a statement like that.
I wish I could spend an afternoon wandering about Flourish & Blotts. That sounds like fun.
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Date: 2004-02-21 07:53 am (UTC)Still, Mad-Eye's bound to turn up, now that you mention it.
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Date: 2004-02-22 12:02 pm (UTC)And I'm always happy with Odin references from competent writers. ;)
-- Lorrie
no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 05:20 am (UTC)*falls over laughing* Beautiful piece of toad-sticking, that.
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Date: 2004-02-21 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 05:21 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 07:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 09:40 pm (UTC)(Mind if I friend you? I've been meaning to ask for a while, thanks to both
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Date: 2004-02-21 10:03 pm (UTC)Still the prettiest
Date: 2004-10-15 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-20 08:17 am (UTC)wonderful.
i realize i'm late to the party, but this whole thing is bloody brilliant.
thank you!