I just had a nasty realisation.

[camwyn]

I have to write a Sorting Hat song for Hellblazer: Hogwarts. John can't show up late to the feast- it just wouldn't do. God. Hagrid was bad enough- now I have to write for the Hat as well?

*shudder*

Comments

[kyrielle]

I so love the thought. You not only have to write that, you have to write his reaction....

Re:

[camwyn]

Of course I do. I haven't got any choice. That's why I used the Cranky John picture for that post.

Thank Heaven the Hat only sings once a year.

Re:

[kyrielle]

*giggles*

Re:

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

Except for when people sneak in and fiddle with it.

But at least when he's skulking about, he can threaten fire.

[eevieivy.livejournal.com]

John Constantine gets the sorting hat drunk:

Oh, say, I'm the hat that can beat all the hats
The one that determines your futures, you prats
I sift and I sort and I pry through your thoughts
And I figure out just where you belong, you sad sots...

Re:

[arabel.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Very nice! ^_^

[serinatia.livejournal.com]

Couldn't be worse than some I've read.

The Hat will still have to add some advice, won't it? Due to there being a war on and all. *grins* Wonder what John will say about that.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Well, you could have him hear it start to sing, and then utter loud and scatological exclamations of disbelief through the rest of the song. Hmm... does 'felching' count as scatological? A case could be made, but I'm not going any further because I've probably just caused trauma enough.

But you don't have to write a whole song. Just enough to get the point across, and to tell John the story of the Four Founders. On which he is guaranteed to hold an opinion.

not knowing John...

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

... but remembering an earlier LJ entry of yours...

How curious is John? I.e. after hearing the hat and watching it sort the new students, would John be tempted to try on the hat himself if he found it in a conveniently empty office/classroom? Dumbledore might well want to know the hat's reaction to John, and he'd have a good guess about whether John would try it since he's seen John's memories in the pub.

Re: not knowing John...

[camwyn]

Oh, he's curious, but he's not really the sort to go sticking his head into a sentient artifact if he doesn't have to. As Arthur Weasley put it, never trust anything magical if you can't tell where it keeps its brain... John's not going to let something like that go rooting about in his skull if he doesn't have to.

I'm currently thinking of 'have to' circumstances, though.