Dearest spammers:

[camwyn]

This morning, I noticed that a difference in my daily spam. It seems that a number of you have switched to offering anti-anxiety medication, possibly in response to the sheer number of competitors in the Viagra field. The drug of choice, according to the majority of messages in my inbox, was Valium.

Darling spammers, I was offered Valium once, five years ago. They offered it to me because someone was going to cut my corneas with an amazingly sharp knife and vaporize part of my eyeballs with lasers, all while I was awake. I turned it down.

What makes you think anything that you or anyone else could possibly do would top that as a stressor, hmm? Then again, you seem to think I have a penis, too, so.

Toodles, darlings.

XOXO,

Camwyn.

Comments

[mephron]

You don't have a..... ?

Hm. Must refigure something then. That throws all my equations completely off.

[camwyn]

Well, not unless you count the one in the jar at the back of the freezer, anyway.

[mephron]

ah, ok. Then my calculations are in order.

We may have to clone you, though.

[lwood.livejournal.com]

Well, you know, I keep mine in a bedside drawer. It never needs Viagara, and if I want a larger one I jot down to Good Vibrations (http://www.goodvibes.com/) and buy one, with instant results! 8-P

But what's really turning my crank about my latest round of spam is that they're using a copyrighted haiku that's supposed to be used as a way to tell that this Is Not Spam (http://www.habeas.com/). The company whose haiku it is is, of course, preparing their flock of lawyer-birds, and none too soon...

-- Lorrie

[mephron]

The Bayesian Poison spams are getting irritating, too. On the bright side, Mozilla 1.6 seems to be immune to them in his mail program.

I am waiting for the Habeus suit to hit. PReferably with the sort of impact normally from armor-piercing discarding-sabot depleted uranium munitions in the .50 caliber range.