I'm going to throttle my fellow Americans.

[camwyn]

Co-worker: Oh, my wrist's hurting a lot, but the splint helps, thanks for asking.
Me: Do you know anyone who's going to Canada any time soon? You know, the OTC drugs...
Co-worker: Yeah, I know. *thinks* No, I can't think of anyone.
Me: Oh, well.
Co-worker: Yeah. You know, I ought to visit Canada again sometime soon. Niagara Falls. I loved visiting the Botanical Gardens and riding the Maid of the Mist - the New York side, *pfft*, but the Canadian side...
Me: Definitely. They did *so* much better with their side.
Co-worker: Uh-huh. I visited there with my mother, and then we went to Montreal and saw this huge clock of flowers-
Me: Montreal?
Co-worker: Yeah.
Me: Montreal's... kind of a long way from the Falls¹.
Co-worker: I'm pretty sure it was Montreal. It was just outside of the Falls-
Me: It's in another province.
Co-worker: Well, it was right north of the Falls, it was some town. Very, very clean.
Me: Um... *racks brain for local city names* St. Catherines? No, that wouldn't be right...
Co-worker: There was this huge clock made all out of flowers, and a cable car across the river²...
Me: I can't remember any of the local town names.
Co-worker: I'm pretty sure it was Montreal.
Me: They speak French in Montreal. Wouldn't you have noticed?
Co-worker: I don't remember. It's in a whole other... is it 'province' or 'providence'?
Me: Province. Providence is a city in Rhode Island.
Co-worker: Oh.
Me: Look, give me a piece of paper. *draws map* This is New York State.
Co-worker: Uh-huh.
Me: And this is Lake Erie. The Falls are over HERE.
Co-worker: Right...
Me: *draws line, labels one side 'Ontario', the other 'Quebec'* And Montreal is over HERE³.
Co-worker: I think we might've visited the Falls and then gone up and over.
Me: See, Toronto's over here, on the... oh? Well, that explains it, I guess...
Co-worker: I swear, I really think it was Montreal. It was really, really clean, I remember- look, I'm going to call my mother.
Me: I'm going back to my desk.
Co-worker: *phones me at desk* It was Toronto!
Me: That's not 'right north of', that's 'two hours past by car'!
Co-worker: I was thirteen! I was lucky to remember that much.
Me: Well, all right...

I can excuse a certain amount given that it's been twelve years since she visited the area, so forgetting the time it took to get from the Falls to Toronto can be excused. But... dude! Quebec=!Ontario, and Montreal=!!!!!!!Toronto, okay? Yeesh!

mountainspeak, y'all got any IT jobs open up there before my countrymen and countrywomen start being found dead with the complete works of Robert Service jammed between their jaws?

¹This co-worker has occasionally gotten place names wrong before, so I was trying to give her a chance here.
²At this point I started wondering if she was thinking of a town on the Niagara River itself.
³WELL TO THE NORTH OF COMPLETELY THE OTHER END OF THE STATE, I should point out here

Comments

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

I would be equally helpless, in her shoes.

In my defense, however, I would point out that I would be equally helpless when dealing with the geography of the United States. :P

[mountainspeak.livejournal.com]

If you want to send me your resume, I'll happily photocopy it and pass it around the hospitals in the area.