... SO. GOING. TO. HELL.

Over at milliways_bar, where I play Detritus (sgt_rock) and Carcer (bottle_covey), a recent plot twist resulted in Oompa Loompas turning up to do some cleanup duty. Their usual didactic song included the line 'Please don't piss Nyarlathotep off.'

I started discussing this with chn_breathmint on AIM...

chn_breathmint: O_O oh my. Oompa loompas. *laughs*
camwyn: Milliways is basically the Crisis on Infinite Crossovers, so it's not really a surprise.
chn_breathmint: well. Oompa loompas and Lovecraft... make eerie sense
camwyn: Tiny, orange Deep One hybrids.
chn_breathmint: Yes!
chn_breathmint: ... The Shadow Over Innsmouth, right? but in a chocolate factory.
camwyn: It'd certainly explain the horrible fates the other children met.
camwyn: I'm reasonably sure the golden tickets were actually pages torn from something.
chn_breathmint: someone has got to write this.
camwyn: I don't know nearly enough Lovecraft. And anyway, the Wonderful Wizard of Mars has priority.
chn_breathmint: My fiance may do it now.
camwyn: More power to him, then!

At this point I raised the topic with some friends on a MUSH and got the following:

highdancer says, "Vernicious Knids baybe."
camwyn says, "The *real* Colour Out of Space."
jazzhandshimmer says, "And Willy Wonka?"
jazzhandshimmer says, "Just another name for... the Black Man? The Pharoah, Nyarlathotep?"
highdancer says, "The King in Chocolate."
camwyn says, "Well, let's just say that the non-Charlie kids met their varying horrible fates for a *reason*, and not just because they were annoying and a blight on the *SPRRRRRGH* Thank you for setting off a spit take even though I wans't drinking, highdancer."
highdancer says, "I live to please."

Relayed this to chn_breathmint back on AIM; response?
chn_breathmint: ... oh god. You win.
chn_breathmint: YOU WIN.

penguinzero says, "That is not fed which can eternal lie; and with strange sugars even sweets can die."
jazzhandshimmer says, "Ia! Ia! Gobstopper ftagn!"
highdancer says, "And Charlie, having presided over the ritualistic destruction of his opposition, takes his place at the right hand of Madness."

... SO. GOING. TO. HELL.

I've heard from three betas.

If someone else wants to respond, fine, but if I've not heard anything by... oh, three this afternoon my time (American Eastern zone), I'm posting the next chapter with those three's suggested edits.

Heeeeeeeeeeere's JOHNNY...

... yeah, I'm going to Hell for that. Even more than usual, I mean.
Hellblazer: Hogwarts
Chapter 9: Lay My Head On The Surgeon's Table
( Conjured alcohol... )

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( Sophronia Toops smoothed down the front of her robes with both hands, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. )

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( This is BOLLOCKS, Dumbledore! )