I seem to have left my data suppository* home.

That is to say, the 32MB USB key on which I have been storing most of my personal writings. This includes Diary of a Mountie, Ikeshoji-san's story, everything vulgar Wayne and Dennis have ever said, most Rocketboy material to date (the exceptions are saved to my home hard drive alone), and the ongoing saga at the Tate. I do not want to separate the Ikeshoji-san material from itself if at all possible, so I will just have to work on him tonight or tomorrow, but today I do need to write something. Most likely it will be Sergeant Preston, as I know him well enough by now that I do not necessarily need the prior stuff on hand- it won't be Diary of a Mountie material, because I had to take notes for that and the notes are also on the suppository, but it'll be something.

*I assure you, I am quite serious about the designation of this drive. It looks like one. Here, have a look.

Ahem.

To the respected contingent of Japanese Mounties long past, slightly past, and future* living in my head:

I appreciate that you are eager to be incarnated on the page.
I understand that each and every one of you wants to get out and do something, whether it's fighting one of the Meiji-era samurai who won't submit to arrest, shooting your horse to ensure the survival of a 1945 village, or running down the incredible bastard who just threw his last knockout gas grenade into the crowded streets of Tokyo.
I really do understand that the design possibilities that surround you make for stunning visuals, from little things like uniform design to big sweeping compare-and-contrast images of uniformed men and women on horseback watching the bullet train go by.
I'm even cool with the prospects you've advanced for several outstanding characters, be they in the setup story (Ikeshoji Kiyoshi, his granddaughter Miyumi) or in episodes of the anime that seems to be coalescing around you.

What I am not cool with is you guys taking over the song "Sarajevo 12/24" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and writing the opening credit seqence for said anime. Particularly not when at least one of you seems to be quite adept at assembling multiply-layered images so that Meiji stuff can run in the visual background with a superimposed image of Emperor Hirohito reading the dissolution speech in front of it, all while the credits are rolling. Dammit, that kind of thing is distracting, and I have to do other things while listening to music. That's one of my favourite Christmas songs. Do you suppose you could back off for just a while on that?

Thank you.

*Because there really isn't any such thing as a Japanese Mountie present, thanks to Hirohito

Words/Phrases That Cannot Mean Anything Good In An Obituary:

"while cleaning his/her gun"
"pantsless"
"in his/her freezer"
"nail gun"*
"half-eaten"
"a five block radius"**
"failed to convert from metric"
"insufficiently elastic"
"on display at the Mutter Museum"

*Exception to be made for the inventor of same
**This was going to be 'scattered across five counties', but one could theoretically scatter relatives or charitable organizations that way, whereas there's just no way mentioning a five block radius in an obituary can refer to anything other than fire, disease, or chemical mishap