There is a bird

engaging in personal hygiene outside my window. No, seriously. There's some kind of flowering plum tree or something next to my window, and it's a very popular place for birds to land even when there's no fruit. Right now I am watching a sparrow scratch every itch it has, with feet and beak as seems appropriate... it's like watching a dog scratch a flea bite, then nibble at other itchy spots. Only it's, yanno, a sparrow. She's just sitting there, appily nibbling at this itch or that, turning her head through something like 100 degrees from base orientation to get at itches on her back, clawing at the side of her head with one foot, bending that teeny-tiny neck to get at a spot on her chest that seems to be giving her trouble, checking under her wings because you just can't get there with a claw. . .

Wish I had a big old tray of dust I could just put out my window for her. She'd be able to foof around in it to get rid of the mites that are probably causing most of the itching. I've seen sparrows do this. It's amazingly entertaining to watch, because they look so relieved; it's like watching someone who's just had a good massage.

"Nope. Not migrating today. Not foraging today. Gonna sit here and SCRATCH. . . . just SCRATCH for ten minutes solid. Because I itch, and it feels good to scratch, and because it's safe, and because I CAN."

Let the birdwatchers fuss over exotic species. I like seeing little brown birds.

Weather Royalty.

A bunch of you folks no doubt know that cadhla is the Rain King, with the power to bring rain or send it away as she sees fit. She's entitled to that title, I've seen her in action. But I have a feeling that she's not the only Weather Royalty around, although if anything I'm at best a lesser scion of the royal family. Say, the Hurricane Baronet or something.

See, in the past, every time I've mocked or made fun of or otherwise commented about a hurricane's name, it's gone nasty on us. Mitch was the first. It was a category 2 storm on its way to dying out when I commented that it was hard to be afraid of a storm named after the actor who plays Skinner on X-Files. (Who, it should be noted, was infinitely more drool-worthy than Duchovny ever could have been.) Mitch promptly swelled up to Category 5 and attempted to destroy Honduras. When Floyd rolled around I had to laugh - I mean, come on. Floyd? We have a TV performer here in Jersey called Uncle Floyd, who wears a porkpie hat and a plaid jacket and is generally not the kind of person whose name inspires awe and fear. Of course, as soon as I made the comparison aloud, Floyd turned around, went to Category 4, and headed for the American coast. . . thankfully he was down to category 2 by the time he arrived at my end of NJ, but in the process he drowned the innocent towns of Bound Brook and Manville. He also ended a particularly ugly drought. It was like that Simpsons episode with the asteroid: "Don't worry, kids! It'll probably burn down to a lump the size of a Chihuahua's head by the time it gets to Earth!"

Well... we're having a drought again. Lots of the East Coast is having a drought again. I think the Carolinas have had close to three straight years of inadequate rainfall.

I'm told there's a tropical storm system forming in the Gulf of Mexico.

I think I have to go see what the next mockable name on the list is. The Hurricane Baronet may have to ride again.

So it's not hurricanes...

Big deal. It's earthquakes. I've had this link in my Bookmarks file for a while now and haven't clicked on it lately.

Want to see where seismographic instruments indicate tectonic events have taken place over the course of the last few days, how powerful the quakes were, and what depths they were at? Have a look here:

NEIC Near-Real-Time Earthquake List

It's really quite fascinating to see for yourself how many different points and places the Earth is capable of shaking at without hurting anyone, or even drawing anyone's attention. How many times every single day things happen that could scare the hell out of us, but don't, because they happen without being noticed by anyone but machines. Or because they happen where there are people, but so far below the surface that they're hardly felt. Or whatever...

I think I like it because it shows that not everything is an apocalytpic sign in the making. Every day, for as long as we've been keeping records, earthquakes have happened. There's no sign that they're getting more frequent or getting worse or being targeted at human habitation areas by a malevolent divinity/Adversary; they're just part of plate tectonics, and they happen every day without signaling the incipient breaking of the seals. It's very reassuring to know that there are still some things that have nothing to do with human beings.

Woo!

In case you missed this Sunday's column in your newspaper, Dave Barry has proposed something I think this world needs very badly.

( Snipped for your friend-pages' protection. )

Today's pulp survival tip is #74. Unless the item you have been searching for, finally found, and nearly lost grants you the ability to fly, don't bother trying to grab it when it falls to a ledge on the side of a bottomless gorge two or three fingers' widths out of your reach.