Perhaps it is

[camwyn]

that I have been reading the Mary Sues group and have thus rubbed raw that part of my brain which deals with processing Crap. Perhaps it is that I have been thinking of how Mary Sues resemble Sam Haights. (Sam Haights have less personality and more p0w3rz, but not by much.) Perhaps it is that I have been thinking about my own characters and worrying that this or that MUSH PC - or worse yet, this or that VicMage.Asia NPC - might conceivably be a Mary Sue. I don't know. All I know is that today as I was flipping through my radio stations I came across a Kid Rock tune -

Yep
I've been on the cover of the Rolling Stone
I met the president when I was half stoned
I been so high I've gotten confused
I been beat down, broke and used
Motherfucker
I drank with hank, talked blues with Billy
Rocked with Run sang with shotgun Willy
Went from small time philly to big time Bobby
From 3 day old chili to saki with wosabi

I'm home hey I'm home
You never met a motherfucker quite like me
Not like me, dida dada like me, hey like me

No more bein' poured drink specials at winners
Or being ignored by the think straight sinners
I used to smoke pinners while my moms made dinner
Now I smoke bombs and rock with Lynyrd skynyrd
No beginners here I'm a seasoned vet
Educated on jazz by my man Amed
Heard again my friend I been the world n back
But I'm Michigan boy can you feel that

And I'm home
You never met a motherfucker quite like me
Not like me, God damn like me, hey hey like me

Never thought I'd go as far in life as this
Never made par and I could give 2 shits
Never wanted sell cars cause my dad was a dick
Never wanted a guitar 'till I heard a lick like this

And from the depths of dixie to my northern spots
You know its time to rock when ole glory drops

I pimp through town with the top laid back
Black hat, fine blonde, cold pabst in my lap
I'll adapt
To any and all situations
Thats why the call me the pimp of the nation
Hey bitch you best believe I live in the woods not your world of greed
Might, a little weed might a little yeah
I'm so proud to be living in the USA

You've never met a motherfucker quite like me
Hey hey like me, da di da da stay like me, hey hey hey like me
You aint ever met and you aint never going meet
You never met a ,never met a ,never never never never met a
Motherfucker quite like me
You aint never met a mother like me
Hey you aint never never never never never met someone like me
(Hey hey)
Never met like me,
(Hey hey)
(Hey dude hey)
Never met a mother like me
(Come on, hey)
And you never, and never gonna never gonna meeeeeet
(Hey come on already)
You never meeeeeeeet
(stop)
What?
(Dude, theres more to life that just you)
hahaha


I came into the song about a line before the word 'Michigan', I think. Don't remember for sure. All I know is that my brain seized on it and said 'okay, time to come up with a new MUSH character - and avoid the Mary Sue/Sam Haight/Godawful Cliche In General rules!'.


I don't know his full name. Yes, it's another male character; I'm not sure why, but they seem easier to deal with on World of Darkness MU*'s. Fourth-generation American, Korean ancestry, last name of Park. I believe he goes by Roy, or Ray, or something of that nature. Born and raised in Michigan - I want to say he currently lives somewhere around the Upper Peninsula but that's because I am ignorant of Michigan geography, save for that region and a little bit around Ann Arbor. Big fella - not so much in the height as in the breadth. Plays football, or did in college, though it wasn't a Division I team. Works in sales, possibly marketing - more likely sales, though. US Army Reserve and proud of it. No martial arts, though he got some boxing training out of the Army and he's a damn good tackler. Cooks Korean, but doesn't speak it. Roman Catholic. Might have some musical talent, but I'm not entirely sure of that; it might be the kind of thing where his parents made him take lessons for a few years and he let it drop after that. Married, I think. May or may not have kids, I can't tell. Very good at his sales job, but he tends to get under the skin of his co-workers.

He's that rarity of rarities in the WoD: an assimilated, non-Japanese Asian-American. (Well, okay, Ashes to Ashes is up to the eyeballs in Chinese-ancestry characters - but he's Korean, so he's still a rarity.) And he showed up in the time it took to get from the Michigan line to the end of the song - no more time than that.

Thank you, brain, you have proven your point. We do not create Mary Sues. Now could I please have a female Caucasian show up next time? Just once?

Comments

[lwood.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain -- it took several people many hours to convince me that Mirella wasn't a Mary Sue, even after I'd gratuitously broken her, turned her into a ficton-hopping Sam Beckett, and leaped her into a pissy Wookiee Jedi.

Okay, it sounds absurd now, but then...

-- Lorrie

[zou.livejournal.com]

If his name is Ray Park, he has to be some super-atheletic guy who never gets any credit 'cause his face is concealed when photographers or reporters or witnesses happen by.

HAS TO.

[camwyn]

Uh... should I get the reference? It sounds dimly familiar, but it simply isn't there...

[camwyn]

Never mind. Og just remember.

Og now stuck with great fear. Og seeing big Korean football player with red and black and yellow face paint and coach asking 'why Ray have yellow contact lenses'. Also two-ended hockey stick.

oy.