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camwynProctalgia fugax and its evil cousin levator ani syndrome.
Not Warhammer 40k characters, although they're both douchebaggy enough to qualify, but mystery pains out of nowhere described as "Not cramps. Not gas. Just straight-up spectral knife fight in my ass". No specifically identifiable causes but they tend to show up at times of dehydration, magnesium imbalance, and for those of you who are, like me, of the female and over-50 persuasion, the hormonal chaos of menopause.
Women report these bastards more often than men in most studies. Then again, it's super hard for doctors to get men to report that they are experiencing even basic ass pain, probably out of fear that the doctor will ask them what they were doing with their butts to cause it, so I have to assume that guys are even more reluctant to report the butt lightning striking out of nowhere in the middle of the night. Literally. Most common time reported of PF is the middle of the night, with only about 33% showing up in daytime.
Far as I can tell the difference between PF and levator ani syndrome is duration. PF is when the knife fight is ended quickly. LA syndrome is if it lasts more than twenty minutes.
Treatment options are not great, although they exist, and prevention options include high fiber diets, botox injections, calcium channel blockers, cannabis suppositories, warm baths, diazepam, and in cases of trying to reduce frequent severe attacks, sticking a probe where the sun does not shine and running pulsed electrical charges through the patient until it gets to Milgram experiment levels, then turning the intensity down to comfortable levels. God help the poor bastards who participated in THAT clinical trial.
Not Warhammer 40k characters, although they're both douchebaggy enough to qualify, but mystery pains out of nowhere described as "Not cramps. Not gas. Just straight-up spectral knife fight in my ass". No specifically identifiable causes but they tend to show up at times of dehydration, magnesium imbalance, and for those of you who are, like me, of the female and over-50 persuasion, the hormonal chaos of menopause.
Women report these bastards more often than men in most studies. Then again, it's super hard for doctors to get men to report that they are experiencing even basic ass pain, probably out of fear that the doctor will ask them what they were doing with their butts to cause it, so I have to assume that guys are even more reluctant to report the butt lightning striking out of nowhere in the middle of the night. Literally. Most common time reported of PF is the middle of the night, with only about 33% showing up in daytime.
Far as I can tell the difference between PF and levator ani syndrome is duration. PF is when the knife fight is ended quickly. LA syndrome is if it lasts more than twenty minutes.
Treatment options are not great, although they exist, and prevention options include high fiber diets, botox injections, calcium channel blockers, cannabis suppositories, warm baths, diazepam, and in cases of trying to reduce frequent severe attacks, sticking a probe where the sun does not shine and running pulsed electrical charges through the patient until it gets to Milgram experiment levels, then turning the intensity down to comfortable levels. God help the poor bastards who participated in THAT clinical trial.
