BWAHAHAHAHAHAH...
Feb. 16th, 2002 11:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynNo, that's not the mad scientist laugh. THat's the hysterical laughter of someone who's just seen her first Stephen Chow movie. It's called "Shaolin Soccer", and it's easily the silliest original movie I've seen in ages. . . Dear God. I can't describe it. I just - *no one* can explain this movie to you. Which is entirely appropriate, as it uses the sort of special effects I'm told were in The Matrix. It's... How do I try to describe this?
Start off with a creative team that wants to do a martial arts movie. Introduce them to the creative team that wants to do a sports movie. Hash out a script about a ragtag band of misfits who use kung fu discipline to improve their soccer.
Now hire the producers of Naked Gun, and as many of the behind-the-scenes people from Blazing Saddles, as you possibly can. Put them to work on the script, cinematography, etc.
Now slip the director a copy of Rocky IV and suggest to him that he pay special attention to the training methods and augmentation done on Ivan Drago or whatever the hell his name is.
Now add the digital effects. Make sure that the fat guy on the team is capable of air time that would make Dogbert in VR embarrassed. . .
I can't explain this movie, I just can't. You have to see it. Go on. It's for sale at eBay if you can't find it anywhere else, $8.99 for a two-VCD set. THe dubbing's horrible - they didn't strip out the Cantonese sound when they added the dubbed dialogue - but the subtitles are real howlers in and of themselves. This movie is so worth it, if you're in need of a good laugh. It really is.
Today's pulp survival tip is #53: You may as well leave your sense of personal dignity in a locker back in the States, because you’re not going to have much use for it in most of these adventures. On the other hand, if you’re captured by the Evil Villain or Supernatural Menace, you’re going to want it back. See #1. Cowards die; scared people get laughed at; but people who maintain their dignity in front of their captors have the greatest chance of any captives of escaping or being rescued in spectacular fashion. If you can’t manage dignity, controlled defiance is the next best thing.
Start off with a creative team that wants to do a martial arts movie. Introduce them to the creative team that wants to do a sports movie. Hash out a script about a ragtag band of misfits who use kung fu discipline to improve their soccer.
Now hire the producers of Naked Gun, and as many of the behind-the-scenes people from Blazing Saddles, as you possibly can. Put them to work on the script, cinematography, etc.
Now slip the director a copy of Rocky IV and suggest to him that he pay special attention to the training methods and augmentation done on Ivan Drago or whatever the hell his name is.
Now add the digital effects. Make sure that the fat guy on the team is capable of air time that would make Dogbert in VR embarrassed. . .
I can't explain this movie, I just can't. You have to see it. Go on. It's for sale at eBay if you can't find it anywhere else, $8.99 for a two-VCD set. THe dubbing's horrible - they didn't strip out the Cantonese sound when they added the dubbed dialogue - but the subtitles are real howlers in and of themselves. This movie is so worth it, if you're in need of a good laugh. It really is.
Today's pulp survival tip is #53: You may as well leave your sense of personal dignity in a locker back in the States, because you’re not going to have much use for it in most of these adventures. On the other hand, if you’re captured by the Evil Villain or Supernatural Menace, you’re going to want it back. See #1. Cowards die; scared people get laughed at; but people who maintain their dignity in front of their captors have the greatest chance of any captives of escaping or being rescued in spectacular fashion. If you can’t manage dignity, controlled defiance is the next best thing.
