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Jan. 11th, 2023 11:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynIf I do not recognize a number on an incoming cell phone call, and there is no name from Caller ID, I will not pick it up. A real person will either leave a voice mail or call back later.
If the phone rings again ten minutes later and the number calling in is different, I will assume it is a political campaign or advertising campaign of some kind, and ignore it.
If the phone rings AGAIN ten minutes later and it's a different area code- like, calls one and two were Oregon, call three is Texas- I will assume it is a really persistent ad campaign of some kind.
If the phone rings YET AGAIN ten to fifteen minutes later and now the mystery caller is in Los Angeles, I give up on good intentions and start answering the phone in Finnish.
If the caller hangs up immediately upon hearing Finnish but the phone rings again and now the mystery caller is in Kentucky, it's EXTRA Finnish time.
There's a human on the other end, but it takes them so long to start talking after I cheerfully announce "I'm sorry, but I'm an American!" in Finnish that I assume they're using a robodialer and a number spoofer, and they only switch the human in after someone actually picks up. So far the only word I've heard from the other end has been "uh, hello?" and something very indistinct, which may have been an attempt at a name- couldn't say for sure, the speaker sounded like he had a non-American accent. I repeated "pahoillani?" in my best puzzled tone- that's Finnish for 'sorry?'- and he hung up.
I've had to answer three times now. If mystery man calls again- oh wait HE JUST DID.
Look, I'm sorry. If you have a legitimate message, if this is an emergency and things are desperate, then all you have to do is say, in English, "I'm trying to reach $NAME" or "I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number", and then I will speak to you in English. If you hang up every single time as soon as I finish the sentence I can only assume you have bad intentions that require your target to speak English. You get Finnish. Maybe Dutch, if I'm feeling up to it.
Keep it up much longer and you get tlhIngan Hol instead.
If the phone rings again ten minutes later and the number calling in is different, I will assume it is a political campaign or advertising campaign of some kind, and ignore it.
If the phone rings AGAIN ten minutes later and it's a different area code- like, calls one and two were Oregon, call three is Texas- I will assume it is a really persistent ad campaign of some kind.
If the phone rings YET AGAIN ten to fifteen minutes later and now the mystery caller is in Los Angeles, I give up on good intentions and start answering the phone in Finnish.
If the caller hangs up immediately upon hearing Finnish but the phone rings again and now the mystery caller is in Kentucky, it's EXTRA Finnish time.
There's a human on the other end, but it takes them so long to start talking after I cheerfully announce "I'm sorry, but I'm an American!" in Finnish that I assume they're using a robodialer and a number spoofer, and they only switch the human in after someone actually picks up. So far the only word I've heard from the other end has been "uh, hello?" and something very indistinct, which may have been an attempt at a name- couldn't say for sure, the speaker sounded like he had a non-American accent. I repeated "pahoillani?" in my best puzzled tone- that's Finnish for 'sorry?'- and he hung up.
I've had to answer three times now. If mystery man calls again- oh wait HE JUST DID.
Look, I'm sorry. If you have a legitimate message, if this is an emergency and things are desperate, then all you have to do is say, in English, "I'm trying to reach $NAME" or "I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number", and then I will speak to you in English. If you hang up every single time as soon as I finish the sentence I can only assume you have bad intentions that require your target to speak English. You get Finnish. Maybe Dutch, if I'm feeling up to it.
Keep it up much longer and you get tlhIngan Hol instead.
