Do. Not. Make. Me. Hurt. You.

[camwyn]

One of my co-workers, meaning well, forwarded an urban legend email today. You might know it. It's the one about the woman who pulls up to a gas station and pays at the pump and the attendant won't let her leave and she doesn't want to deal with the man and he makes her come into the building and when she gets there he tells here dunh dunh DUNNNNH there's a man waiting to slice off her ankles in the back seat....

She preceded this with 'I know this sounds like one of those urban legends but they're talking about the Bloods down in Elizabeth and they closed down Kennedy High School for two days 'cos they found a dead pregnant girl' etc. etc. etc.

I sent out a refutation, because the last thing I need is my entire office spewing legend after legend from our emails - sooner or later someone with a .sigfile will send out a message and next thing you know people will say 'eek! The Red Cross is officially warning people!' and then it'll NEVER die. So I pointed out two things:

1. In the version she sent out, there's no details. No name of the gas station, no city given, no gang name given. How the hell could they be talking about the Bloods? They didn't even MENTION them in the text of the email she originally got. Don't let's embroider an already specious fabric.

2. This is New Jersey. We are, I believe, one of two states in the Union where it is illegal to pump your own gas. That's right, folks: there is no self-serv gas in the state of New Jersey. Sure, there are pay-at-the-pump facilities - but the attendant has to be the one pumping your gas and ultimately the one who puts your card into the pump. There is simply no way that the story could take place in New Jersey unless the gas station attendant were somehow catastrophically stupid enough to let someone sneak into the woman's car - and the prospective gang member who was going to slash her ankles and take off an ear or whatever were catastrophically stupid enough to then let the woman get out of the car and follow the attendant into the little booth or Kwicky Mart.

I wish people would think these things through. Barring that, I wish they'd do a little research before forwarding hysterical emails. It took me less than thirty seconds at my favourite urban legend debunkery site, Snopes.Com, to pull up both the 'killer in the backseat' legend and the newly spliced in element of 'slashed ankles/dismemberment/gang initiation', which is more normally presented as a Dire Warning to mall shoppers. ("...an' then she gets PULLED UNDER THE CAR...")

I hate urban legends. I mean, as stories they're fascinating and a valuable glimpse into the modern collective psyche, but they're an incredible waste of time, effort, and valuable fear response. They divert attention and energy from real threats and problems and they appeal to the stupid side of the Force. Yeesh.

Comments

[mephron]

I'll note that the other state where it's illegal to pump your own gasoline is, in fact, Oregon. The law there is for supposed 'environmental' reasons, to keep gas from spilling.

[camwyn]

Here it's 'safety'. Apparently New Jerseyans mustn't pump their own gas because we might do something dangerous with it. Eek! Eek! A Jerseyan with a cigarette lighter! Run away!

... actually, that was the original intent of the law, from what I understand. These days the loudest voices shouting to keep the law this way are the state's elderly and disabled populations, because if we went to self-serv, the gas stations would revert to one worker in a glass booth and people with physical problems making getting up and standing difficult would have to pump their own gas.

[mephron]

Considering some of the stories I've heard from friends who work in gas stations, 'safety' might still be useful as a reason. (One told me about a person who was pumping gas and trying to light their cigarette... and then they overfilled the tank... No one hurt, no fire, but for a moment there it was looking like you'd get something out of a 'Lethal Weapon' or 'Robocop'.)

[kyrielle]

Actually, I've also heard "safety" given as the reason in Oregon. I think the laws were originally made for safety in many states; over time, most revoked them. Knowing Oregon's environmental bias I'm sure one of the reasons brought up to keep them was the environment. I wonder if the root of it isn't profit for the gas stations, though.

Then again, I am lazy and hate pumping my own gas. That being illegal does tend to guarantee there will be many gas stations with people to do it for me. :)

[just-the-ash.livejournal.com]

The guy in the back seat probably would have been foiled anyway, because he would have crawled toward her wearing his imported sweater that had a rattlesnake fang woven into it that stabbed him and injected a lethal dose of venom... not to mention the bloody hook dangling off the door on the other side... and I bet he also forgot that he left his poodle to dry in the microwave!