I am *so* opening the door to trouble with this, but...

[camwyn]

Last year I got a book called What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?, which was all extremely vulgar sea shanties of one sort or another. As I was lacking in alternative material, I had a British soldier RP character of mine (I think at the moment I've got three, though I could be wrong) say that he knew the more interesting ones thanks to an old Navy drinking buddy.

I'd like to get him some more appropriate material before I send him off on a plot that I know is going to involve singing. Back when I was in high school, I wrote the usual Mary-Sue tripe that people of that age write- or rather I composed it; it all stayed in my head rather than ever going down on paper- and part of that tripe involved introducing my favourite acoustic instrument-suitable rock and pop songs to the Harpers of Pern. Harry's going to get plunked down without warning in a culture where singing and dancing are significant forms of entertainment. Aside from a couple of Queen songs I've never gotten the impression that he's much of a popular music person, but it's been far too easy to see him memorizing things like the Ballad of Eskimo Nell, or the pre-Gulf War song "Guantanamo Bay". I think it would be a rather appropriate penance for the Sue stuff to have Harry get asked for some of the songs of his homeland and respond with something too filthy to repeat on prime time television.

So I suppose the question is: knowing that we're dealing with an English soldier (second battalion, Light Infantry) as of about 2005 or so, can anyone point me at somewhere I could pick out a few suitably bawdy songs my boy might reasonably know? Thanks.

Comments

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

Are you looking for modern stuff, or are you looking for traditional dirty songs?

Try digital traditions for traditional songs (http://www.mudcat.org</a.) (http://www.mudcat.org)

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always "The Scotsman" (http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/The_Scotsman.shtml). The Brobdagnigian Bards (who had the lyrics up on their website) do a number of RenFaire-esque numbers, some of them traditional and some not-so-traditional (their cover of "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" is pretty funny, though).

It's not bawdy, but how about "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash? It strikes me as something that he would have heard, given the massive popularity of Cash.

[camwyn]

I was mostly thinking the traditional ones, if only because I personally find them more entertaining. I'll give that a look when I get home. Thanks!

[camwyn]

.... Python. My God, I hadn't even considered...

Now I have this lovely mental image of him teaching pretty much any Monty Python song to a bunch of guys with spears and shields and leather armour. And it's bloody hilarous.

[mephron]

IAWTConcept.

[camwyn]

I'm trying to work out the logistics for "Never Be Rude To An Arab". I think when he gets to the bit with the explosion he'd just say "And that's when you run the fucker through with your spear."

[mephron]

He shouldn't even try The Philosopher Song, though.

[camwyn]

Aw, but that one requires the least translation of all! The names don't have to be rendered into the local language, after all. Just the framing bits.

[mephron]

Good point, that. Hm...

Well, "All Things Dull And Ugly" would work fairly well. So would "Sit On My Face" and possibly "The Lumberjack".

[kelathefinn.livejournal.com]

OH, the LUMBERJACK Song - how about 'He's a pike soldier and he's OK....'

[lasa.livejournal.com]

My grandfather was a sailor (German) who sailed with a lot of Newfies.(I'm 50, and he died in his 90's, and he learned these in his teens) He used to sing some of their songs to me as a child. I'm guessing that you, knowing all that you do of Canada, are familiar with some of the Newfie folk songs, but these are the bawdy sailor-songs that immediately came to mind.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/greatbigsea/thejollybutcher.html
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/greatbigsea/excursionaroundthebay.html

He really did sing those to me as a child along with some others that are less bawdy or that I only remember snatches of. I'm really grateful to Great Big Sea for recording those so that I have the entire song still.
GBS does another funny, quite bawdy one that I'm guessing even my grandfather thought was unsuitable for a small child:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/greatbigsea/themermaid.html

[jezrana.livejournal.com]

I have some good ones from Rogue's Gallery (http://www.amazon.com/Rogues-Gallery-Pirate-Ballads-Chanteys/dp/B000GGSMD0), which might be in the book you have already, but. Baltimore Whores (http://www.lyricszoo.com/various-artists/baltimore-whores-gavin-friday/) is probably the filthiest song in my entire music collection.

[victorthecook.livejournal.com]

Well, you get spoilt for choice with that album. I'd say "Good Ship Venus" takes the crown, but it's close either way.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

What, no one's put in Barnacle Bill (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollocky_Bill_(song))?

[victorthecook.livejournal.com]

Soldiers' songs is far from my area of expertise -- the only thing that comes to mind is "Mademoiselle from Armentieres", which is elderly but lingers on. If you want a regimental connection, it's a chunk of the regimental march of Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, which regiment is allied with the Rifles (which absorbed the Second Light Infantry in February of this year).

[derien.livejournal.com]

"Jeanette" by The English Beat (ska, c. the 80's, I suspect, though I didn't hear it 'til the 90's) - I don't know if it's bawdy enough, but it's about a guy meeting a girl in a laundromat who apparently he has a one-nighter with, and he remembers her fondly. Cute lyrics, bouncy tune. I'm not quite sure how it would come across acapella with only one voice, but if he's thought about it a little he might be able to do it justice.

Although reading about it here:
http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/store/artist/album/0,,82207,00.html I find that album (Special Beat Service) was more popular in the U.S. than in the U.K.! I'm floored by this, as I love almost everything off it.

I've posted it for you here:
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=738C01700F0E71BC

and here are the lyrics:

jeanette

All set luncheonette,
kitchenette to let
I bet to get hamburgerette again.

We met in a launderette
and kissed beneath the air jet
No threat no sweat
Another one in the back of the net.

When I met Jeanette,
Substitute Ronette,
She said "Will you remember?"
Said I could never forget her
Au naturalette,
Her mom's a millionette
So we shared one last cigarette
and swapped false addresses,
Jeanette,
Jeanette.

Dangerous
She's like damp dynamite
Oh boy, enjoy, have a nice night
Won't you promise to wrote me whenever you can
Make sure you warn me
if you're coming to Birmingham.

I get Jeanette
Substitute Ronette
She said "Will you remember?"
Said I could never forget her,
Jeanette
No no no I'll never forget you.

Touching your skin has proved one thing,
That love's still exciting.
We're getting there
We're nearly there
Just one final fling,
Pushing into a new love
steady deep and strong
Steady on
You know we shouldn't talk like this.

I met Jeanette
Substitute Ronette
She said "Will you remember?"
Said "I could never forget you."
Au naturalette,
Her mom's a millionette
So we shared one last cigarette
and swapped false addresses,
Jeanette

No no no I'll never forget you.
Jeanette
No no no I'll never forget you.

[derien.livejournal.com]

Oh, traditional. *le sigh!* Well, then, I guess my suggestion of "Jeanette" is out. I know a few traditional songs, but probably nothing that strikes quite the right note.

[camwyn]

Thanks for trying, anyway- the song might come in useful in future. I can't use 'Eskimo Nell' forever, after all.

[camwyn]

Hmm. I might give that a look. And yeah, I knew about the thing with the Rifles- I spent a while last year and early this year trying to familiarise myself with the way the British Army was organised so that I wouldn't sound like a complete idiot in the course of RP. That's always something of a fear of mine- not Mary Sueishness, but simply saying or doing something so outright wrong with a character that people will point and laugh and go 'silly American, go back to baseball!' or something similar.

[derien.livejournal.com]

My thinking with "Jeanette" was that ska is very working class - as evidenced by the Supervisor I used to have who was from Manchester (England) and knew so much more about ska than I did that I found it intimidating. I was thinking I might be able to ask him what traditional songs the modern British soldier might be expected to know, but he's possibly a couple of years older than the character you're working on, and he elected to join the U.S. Army so he could get citizenship. Also, I don't have his email address. I have his phone number, but I'm phone phobic. And his wife is huge and could break me in half if she thought I was one of the other women he has been seeing.

[camwyn]

You don't have to go to that length, hon, honest. The music was more for the sake of throwaway references, first for an upcoming plot and then on an ongoing basis. Not critical at all, so don't worry about it. Thank you very much, though.

[victorthecook.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. I hate looking -- or worse, being -- ignorant in areas where I should know things.

BTW -- don't think for a second that I just jotted all that down from memory or something. After writing my first sentence, I went looking for references to the song, and was drawn in by the extensive Wikipedia article on the PPCLI.