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Jun. 13th, 2006 01:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camwynPossibly I should not be allowed to watch movies like Seven Days To Live with the sound on. I know they're crap. I know they can't be anything but crap. I should just stick to watching them with the sound off so I know where to get the screencaps of Sean Pertwee asleep and shirtless with the bedclothes down around his waist.
Alas, I watched the movie with the sound on.
camwyn cwru: Seven Days To Live is a movie that sort of kind of wants to be Poltergeist, only without actually being good or having internal logic.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o
camwyn cwru: It stars Amanda Plummer and Sean Pertwee, which is why we've got it- $5 is not too much to spend on a crappy movie if it is chock full of Sean screencaps.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o
camwyn cwru: Basic idea is that there's this house built in the middle of a marsh the hell away from people and Somebody Was Found Dead There and Sean and Amanda move in and promptly start going crazy because of all the death associated with the marsh.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o;
camwyn cwru: There were medieval executions and stuff in the marsh, and murders in the house, and bla bla bla and so forth.
camwyn cwru: And some kind of evil creepy spirit thingump in the house sort of takes on the part of Sean and Amanda's dead son, who apparently died of anaphylactic shock when he failed to notice a bee on his spoonful of cereal and swallowed the bee and got stung.
camwyn cwru: The ending involves nearly drowning in the basement and getting hauled out by the policeman who discovered the most recent set of bodies in the house, and there are MUD MONSTERS and there are ZOMBIES and Sean spends a chunk of the movie wandering around with a SCREWDRIVER rammed through his gut, and then he SPEWS MUD FROM HIS FACE just before they rescue him and Amanda, and it MAKES NO SENSE.
camwyn cwru: Like I said, "Japanese kids fall! Everyone dies!" would have worked better.
almostamurder (Zuko): o_o
almostamurder (Zuko): How do you not notice.
almostamurder (Zuko): A BEE IN YOUR CEREAL?
camwyn cwru: Danii and I spent that whole scene going "THE HELL. KID. LOOK DOWN. BEE. LIVE BEE. STOP IT. DON'T EAT THE BEE. OH FUCK YOU ATE THE BEE."
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o;
camwyn cwru: And then it's all HORKA HORK HORK WHEEZE COUGH nobody has an epi-pen HORK HORK CACK Sean almost does a tracheotomy but fails at the last minute CHOKE HACK WHEEZE DIE.
camwyn cwru: Stupidest death ever.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.O
almostamurder (Zuko): Sounds like it.
almostamurder (Zuko): ATE A BEE
almostamurder (Zuko): WTF
camwyn cwru: Yeah.
camwyn cwru: After that I felt perfectly free to make fun of the movie. So most of the time I just sort of let Wells do a MSTing on the Pertwee character.
camwyn cwru: MARTIN: *glaaaaaaaaares at his publisher* WELLS: "Bet you'd taste like veal..."
almostamurder (Zuko): c.c
almostamurder (Zuko): Poor Wells.
camwyn cwru: MARTIN: *sweating, muttering, glaring as he attempts to write novel* WELLS: "Must not eat the publisher, must not eat the publisher, god dammit what was I thinking becoming a civilian, must not eat the publisher..."
almostamurder (Zuko): XD
camwyn cwru: ELLEN, MARTIN'S WIFE: *stabs crazy!Martin in the gut with a screwdriver* WELLS: "Oooh, right through the scar! .... y'know, if that's not silver, you're in for a nasty surprise in about an hour."
almostamurder (Zuko): c.c
camwyn cwru: ANd sure enough, even though she went to a doctor and was all WAH I KILLED MY HUSBAND, I STABINATED HIM WITH A SCREWDRIVER AND HIT HIM WITH THE CAR-
camwyn cwru: -when she went home the next morning?
camwyn cwru: GUESS WHO'S UP AND ABOUT.
Alas, I watched the movie with the sound on.
camwyn cwru: Seven Days To Live is a movie that sort of kind of wants to be Poltergeist, only without actually being good or having internal logic.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o
camwyn cwru: It stars Amanda Plummer and Sean Pertwee, which is why we've got it- $5 is not too much to spend on a crappy movie if it is chock full of Sean screencaps.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o
camwyn cwru: Basic idea is that there's this house built in the middle of a marsh the hell away from people and Somebody Was Found Dead There and Sean and Amanda move in and promptly start going crazy because of all the death associated with the marsh.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o;
camwyn cwru: There were medieval executions and stuff in the marsh, and murders in the house, and bla bla bla and so forth.
camwyn cwru: And some kind of evil creepy spirit thingump in the house sort of takes on the part of Sean and Amanda's dead son, who apparently died of anaphylactic shock when he failed to notice a bee on his spoonful of cereal and swallowed the bee and got stung.
camwyn cwru: The ending involves nearly drowning in the basement and getting hauled out by the policeman who discovered the most recent set of bodies in the house, and there are MUD MONSTERS and there are ZOMBIES and Sean spends a chunk of the movie wandering around with a SCREWDRIVER rammed through his gut, and then he SPEWS MUD FROM HIS FACE just before they rescue him and Amanda, and it MAKES NO SENSE.
camwyn cwru: Like I said, "Japanese kids fall! Everyone dies!" would have worked better.
almostamurder (Zuko): o_o
almostamurder (Zuko): How do you not notice.
almostamurder (Zuko): A BEE IN YOUR CEREAL?
camwyn cwru: Danii and I spent that whole scene going "THE HELL. KID. LOOK DOWN. BEE. LIVE BEE. STOP IT. DON'T EAT THE BEE. OH FUCK YOU ATE THE BEE."
almostamurder (Zuko): o.o;
camwyn cwru: And then it's all HORKA HORK HORK WHEEZE COUGH nobody has an epi-pen HORK HORK CACK Sean almost does a tracheotomy but fails at the last minute CHOKE HACK WHEEZE DIE.
camwyn cwru: Stupidest death ever.
almostamurder (Zuko): o.O
almostamurder (Zuko): Sounds like it.
almostamurder (Zuko): ATE A BEE
almostamurder (Zuko): WTF
camwyn cwru: Yeah.
camwyn cwru: After that I felt perfectly free to make fun of the movie. So most of the time I just sort of let Wells do a MSTing on the Pertwee character.
camwyn cwru: MARTIN: *glaaaaaaaaares at his publisher* WELLS: "Bet you'd taste like veal..."
almostamurder (Zuko): c.c
almostamurder (Zuko): Poor Wells.
camwyn cwru: MARTIN: *sweating, muttering, glaring as he attempts to write novel* WELLS: "Must not eat the publisher, must not eat the publisher, god dammit what was I thinking becoming a civilian, must not eat the publisher..."
almostamurder (Zuko): XD
camwyn cwru: ELLEN, MARTIN'S WIFE: *stabs crazy!Martin in the gut with a screwdriver* WELLS: "Oooh, right through the scar! .... y'know, if that's not silver, you're in for a nasty surprise in about an hour."
almostamurder (Zuko): c.c
camwyn cwru: ANd sure enough, even though she went to a doctor and was all WAH I KILLED MY HUSBAND, I STABINATED HIM WITH A SCREWDRIVER AND HIT HIM WITH THE CAR-
camwyn cwru: -when she went home the next morning?
camwyn cwru: GUESS WHO'S UP AND ABOUT.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:34 pm (UTC)that is SO VERY WRONG, and really very damn funny.
...just one thing, tho--you did mean that sean nearly did a tracheotomy, right?
'cause otherwise this movie was even weirder than you made it sound....
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:37 pm (UTC)Gonna go edit that now.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 04:26 pm (UTC)You know, folks, it's not that difficult to produce realistic angst in a family. It's not necessary to make something so contrived as eating a damn bee! Not having an epi-pen handy for a severely allergic child can be worked right (Maybe they had one but it was broken or something. I mean what parent in their right mind would NOT have an epipen in every concievable place if their kid ran that kind of risk?). But it would have worked just as well to simply have the kid stung somewhere more...I don't know...realistic, maybe?
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 10:58 pm (UTC)Remind me to screencap the FLYING LEAP OF POINTLESSNESS.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:33 am (UTC)Flying Leap Of Pointlessness? This I gotta see.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-14 03:34 am (UTC)This is what test audiences are for, people!