(no subject)

[camwyn]

My copy of Royal BetrayalDeceit arrived today. (Stupid misremembered titles.)




EEEEEE CHRISTIAN BALE WIF A SWORED.


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.


Damn shame I have to stay late to do some computer work but STILL. EEEEEEEEEEEeee.

Comments

[almeda.livejournal.com]

Royal Deceit (1994)?

[camwyn]

.... gorrammit you'd think I'd get the friggin' name right. I have the box right bloody here.

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

Do you *have* to pimp his movies? Isn't it bad enough that my Netflix queue is 46 items long? Admittedly half are tv shows I'm trying to catch up on -- but the rest are indie movies and Liam Neeson movies?

On the other hand, he is a pretty fellow, isn't he? And he can actually *act*.

[camwyn]

So you don't want to watch the copy of Empire of the Sun that I also got?

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

I didn't say *that*. It's just that I'm going to still be working my way through the current list in *December*, I hardly need to add to it.

And wasn't he still a squeaker in Empire of the Sun?

[camwyn]

Thirteen, yeah. But you have to start somewhere. (Also I had a gift certificate for $25 at Amazon, and the two movies together did the trick.)

[batyatoon]

...Christian Bale wif a swored, huh?

Is it any good aside from the obvious eye candy?

[rajrr.livejournal.com]

Mmm, Hamlet. Plus Christian Bale. Plus swords.

Though I guess Hamlet had swords already. Anyway.

[camwyn]

It was okay. Over-heavy on the narration and one battle scene was filmed entirely in Silhouettes Of Three Guys With Pointy Things-O-Vision to conceal the fact that they didn't have a budget for epic battles. I wouldn't give it more than three stars, although if you're into the eye candy add a star and a half for:

- Christian Bale with a sword
- Christian Bale naked
- Helen Mirren, Gabriel Byrne, and other people shown naked in the sauna at various times, hitting each other with actual birch twigs per standard procedure
- Andy Serkis having the world's greatest "We're the cleverest men in OH GOD NO WE'RE GOING TO DIE" face.

[camwyn]

There is no Scooby-Doo play in this version.

There is, however, a scene where Amlad props up a bunch of dead soldiers and horses and sticks weapons in their hands to give the impression of having an ARMY OF ZOMBIE WARRIORS at his command. Alas, no actual zombies, but still.

[rajrr.livejournal.com]

Truly a movie after my own heart.

[camwyn]

And there's this one scene in England:

DUKE OF ENEMY: My army just ran off screaming like girls. How about single combat?
AMLAD: Sure.
DUKE OF ENEMY: ph34r my l33t axe!
AMLAD: Grar! I have a sword!
DUKE OF ENEMY: Swoosh.
AMLAD: Oh crap my sword got stuck in the ground trying to avoid you.
DUKE OF ENEMY: Oh crap my axe got stuck in a tree limb trying to take off your head.
AMLAD: You're up against the combined hero rays of Batman, John Preston and Jesus. I KILL YOU WITH DAGGER NOW.