(no subject)

[camwyn]

WORDS I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IN A NEWS BROADCAST ABOUT THE SPACE PROGRAM:

'loose fabric'
'dangling'
'scattered'
'cracked o-ring'
'brittle'
'Microsoft navigational software' (okay, cheap shot- I think the shuttle uses Linux anyway)
'held down by tape'
'canceled until further notice'
'corporate sponsorship'
'Britney Spears' (I'm being pre-emptive here)

Comments

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Don't forget "rebel scum," either.

What is it with the space program these days? Back in the sixties and seventies they kept sending cans full of people into space every damn week, seems like, and now we can't even get a shuttle up there without bits of it that aren't supposed to fall off falling off? Hooray for modern technological advances.

[camwyn]

Well, see, we're not allowed to fail any more. Everything has to work absolutely perfectly every time or else it's all OMG HORRIBLE NOOO. Which means that nobody's willing to take chances, because doing something innovative to the space program means that it might fail, because innovative stuff hasn't been tried and proven successful.

Unfortunately, doing the same stuff over and over again without updating it means that it *is* going to fail because Papa Entropy will come to play.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

I have this image of Papa Entropy being a hell of a lot like Papa Midnite.

Yeah, all this striving for excellence bollocks we developed in the nineties really did a number on creativity, didn't it?

[mephron]

The only time that I think hearing the words 'Britney Spears' in a news broadcast about the space program would be appropriate would be if they were followed with the words 'was left in orbit without air as part of a new international program to increase the global intelligence quotient'.

[mephron]

To quote my manager, once upon a time:

"The problem is that everyone wants you to 'strive for excellence' without a chance of fucking up! The problem is, how do you GET excellent without some fuckups?"

(This is why, in part, when he called me to say he was putting a group together, would I be interested in transferring to it, I jumped at the chance.)

[camwyn]

Yeah, I was considering it an updating of the old joke about how the Russians were considering taking John Denver into space and wasn't that wonderful- oh, wait, they're going to bring him back?

Not that I have anything against the late Mr. Denver. I rather liked him. That's just the way the joke ran in the old Bloom County days.

[camwyn]

Old Dilbert cartoon...

Boss: "Our new motto is, 'We do it right the first time'."
Dilbert: "But what if there's a chance of getting it wrong? Wouldn't that mean we'd never do anything?"
Boss: *scowls*
Dilbert: "So maybe the motto should be: "We never actually do anything"?"

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

I wish they'd have let that boyband guy go into space.

And then forgotten to bring him back again. Aw darn, now we have candy-pop "singers" floating round in orbit.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Maybe if we get her fans to send mail saying they want her to go to space, she'll sing about it and we'll send her up just to shut her up.

[mephron]

"NASA today announced that Britney Spears would be dropped off on the Moon for a concert."

*days later*

"NASA today announced that no plans had been made to pick Britney Spears up off the moon. The former Mrs. Federline has reportedly stomped her foot and was heading off to the Sea of Tranquility to call James T. Kirk for a ride. There is no note as to whether or not she realizes that he's a fictional character."

[lwood.livejournal.com]

The shuttle's software is almost certainly custom-written for its charmingly antiquated hardware, being that operating systems were pretty much roll-your-own in those days. I had a contract with NASA once... very interesting on many levels. However, it's been well-known for a long time that the TI graphic calculators the astronauts put in their jumpsuits' Velcro pockets have more brains than the shuttle's in-flight computers.

OTOH, the most complicated job of those in-flight computers is ballistics -- which, compared to World of Warcraft, is not so much.

Unless there was a computing overhaul while the fleet was grounded that I didn't know about...

-- Lorrie

[feonixrift.livejournal.com]

My boss back at NASA (yes, I worked there once): "Faster, Better, Cheaper!"

Me: "Pick two."

Coworkers: *cheering*

Boss: "Here's your deadline and your budget."

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

One More:
'Spackle'

[sundre.livejournal.com]

First year computer science class:

PROF: "You'll hear me say some not-nice things about Microsoft and Windows."

CLASS(INCL.ME): *waits for it*

PROF: "That's because I like things that work."

[camwyn]

Remind me- at some point we have to play Words or Phrases That Can't Mean Anything Good If They Appear In Your Obituary.