There was an especially egregious fic on deleterius today.

[camwyn]

Aragorn 'broke up with' Arwen because all they had was a physical attraction, and he and Legolas ran off to get married. There were quite a few horrid points about it, but this was the one that got me:

A/N Aragorn is immortal in this fic. He is approximately 7000 years old and help to teach Legolas as he grew up. I don’t like the thought of Legolas becoming mortal so Aragorn becomes immortal.

My response:

One of the King's Men of Numenor would like a few words: "Wow. If this 'author magic' of which you speak can make Men immortal, we really should have got ourselves some authors. You know. BEFORE we tried to invade the Undying Lands and got ourselves TRAPPED UNDER THE GIANT HILL FOR THE REST OF TIME. Thanks a lot, Ar-Pharazon. Great kings take what is their right, my ass."

One day I'm going to do a fic about the slow boil one of the Numenorean warriors is doing under that hill as he waits for the day of the Last Battle. "Do I attack the Valar for doing this to me? Do I attack the King for dragging me into this? Screw it. The first moving thing I see? It DIES."

I mean, really. All these sleeping kings in legend, all those sleeping armies- how many of them are really sleeping? These guys aren't even cited as sleeping, just trapped...

Comments

[eevieivy.livejournal.com]

Authors' notes in Suefic make me cringe.

And hee. :)

[arabel.livejournal.com]

Your icon completely cracks me up. :D

[camwyn]

Icon courtesy of the talented the0neru, who created that one and several others in the One Thousand Word Silmarillion thread.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Weird. BTW, what's your AIM?

[camwyn]

camwyncwru. It isn't Welsh- 'Camwyn' was an extremely, extremely background character in Elizabeth Moon's Deed of Paksenarrion and Legacy of Gird books, and CWRU is for Case Western Reserve University, where I went to college.