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[personal profile] camwyn
I'm going to take the John Lyon thing I just posted and work it into a proper fic. In the meantime, could someone please look over these *counts hastily* four paragraphs and correct my one line of lousy French?



If one gets off the bus in Ottawa at the Laurier stop near the University campus and walks past Tabaret and Hagen Halls, there is a spot at 133-135 Séraphin-Marion which may attract one's attention. At least, if one is a wizard. Given that the building looks to be little more than the University of Ottawa's Academic Hall, most Muggles don't give it a second glance. It's been there as long as anyone can remember. It had a museum in it once. It's a playhouse now. There's nothing much to think of it, really, unless one is out for a play or intending to visit the Theatre Department's offices.

It's that 'once' that ought to catch the attention. Museums are funny places, all displays and exhibits and carefully arranged cases. Visitors never quite realise how much of the building they're in isn't actually visible- how much is stored in the basement, or behind the doors that say AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY / AUTORISÉ LE PERSONNEL SEULEMENT. Even the ones who do chalk it up to the museum's collection being bigger than they can show all at once, and leave it at that.

In the back of the first floor of 133-135 Séraphin-Marion, there is a staircase that dates to the old museum days. It's locked and fitted with an alarm, considered a defunct fire safety door now, but in the old days. . . well. You passed through the Zoology collection and into Ornithology, took a right turn at the Great Auk and headed down past the Marine Birds of the Northwest Territories, and waited for passers-by to find somewhere else that they wanted to be. When they'd gone, you placed your hand just on the center of the door and murmured the word; there'd be a click if you got it just right. And when you opened that door, the staircase on the other side didn't lead to the same place it did before.

That's the way into the offices of the Canadian Animagus Registration Board. There are other ways, but that one's simplest, and it works the same way today.

Date: 2003-12-29 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com
Well, I have looked it over, and I'm very intrigued. Most capital. I can't say Jack about the French (I'm currently engaged in reading over Jane Eyre, and Adele is driving me to FITS because I have no idea what she's saying, almost the whole way through).

However... if one is exerting the effort to use the formal tone, one would not, in my estimation, use a contraction. Might this one recommend "one is" rather than "one's" in the last line of the first paragraph?

word order

Date: 2003-12-29 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
I can't find my French grammar book, but I'm pretty sure it should be noun-adjective rather than adjective-noun. There are categories of exceptions to order (BANGS- beauty, age, newness, goodness, size - was what our French teacher had us memorize in HS) but I don't think this fits into any of them.

In the meantime I've sent an e-mail re the entire phrase to a former French teacher, so I'll let you know if I get anything useful in response.

Date: 2003-12-29 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lwood.livejournal.com
On your French:

1) Like other Romantic languages, articles and adjectives need to be declined to match the noun in number and gender.

2) Yep, the word order is incorrect. In French, the adjective comes after the noun (also, the direct object comes before the verb, but I digress).

3) It's not personnel. I think personnes might be more the right thing. Babelfish takes words it doesn't grok and just puts them in straight (bleargh).

Sooooo more like les personnes authorisés seulement: plural article, correct nouns, plural adjectivised verb, but hey, lookit that adverb. 8-)

However, this is probably still a "Franglais" construction. Hold out for the French teacher... just hadda prove I still had a few French-speaking neurons.

-- Lorrie

from the French teacher

Date: 2003-12-29 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
Quoting the e-mail reply:

Personnel authorise ( accent aigu on last e -- don't know how to do that on my American computer) is the translation of "authorized personnel." That might be sufficient. Entree (accent aigu on next to last e) reservee (accent aigu on next to last e) a (accent grave [ ` ] over the a ) personnel authorise.

Entree reservee a personnel authorize.

French Canadians have some differences in vocabulary. Certainly their spoken accent is very different. I am not familiar with Canadian specific vocabulary.

another source

Date: 2003-12-29 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
Duh. It occurred to me that I have a better, i.e. French Canadian, source of info... Will try to send an e-mail query later tonight.

Re: another source

Date: 2003-12-30 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
E-mail delayed 'til this morning (multi-hour multi-part long-distance phone call tied up the phone line last night) so I included context & both English phrases... I also sent it to 2 French Canadians, one a language geek and the other a writer, so there's a better chance of reply and possibly a second opinion.

Re: from the French teacher

Date: 2003-12-30 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
Spelling/grammar correction (in case this turns out to be the correct phrase):

Entree reservee au personnel authorise

with accented "e"s as before.

Re: another source

Date: 2004-01-02 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
From the language geek (and yes, I specified Canadian French in my query):

We just returned from Montreal.
I asked a friend of mine, who grew up in France.
He writes:
Museum Staff Only - Reserve au personnel du musee
Authorized Personnel Only - Reserve au personnel autorise
----
Notes (since I'm still learning html & don't know how to make it do accents): "reserve" should have aigu accents on the first and last "e"s, "musee" on the first "e", and "autorise" on its "e".

Re: another source

Date: 2004-01-03 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
From the writer:

Such a museum door sign in French would probably say "Interdit au public" (Forbidden to the public), particularly in France, or else "Employes seulement" (Employees Only), which I think is more likely in French Canada. Possibly "Personnel autorise seulement", which I think is influenced by the English.

Accent notes: aigu on the second "e" in "employes" and on the "e" in "autorise"

Re: another source

Date: 2004-01-05 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com
Got another comment from the writer:

Thinking about it, I would also suggest (just to confuse the issue:-)
"Reserve au personnel" or "reserve aux employes"
(Reserved for personnel or Reserved for Employees).
----
Accent notes: aigu on both "e"s in "reserve" (in both phrases) and on the second "e" in "employes" (in the second phrase)

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